Tsuzuki cleared his throat as he looked up at the sky. His arms were behind his head and his legs crossed. While his expression would normally be of one enjoying the passing of clouds overhead, Tsuzuki was far from enjoying them.

'The sky is eternal,' he thought to himself. 'It will last forever. I'll still be here when it is destroyed.'

He inhaled deeply.

He didn't want to be here anymore. It was hell. No one loved him, so why bother to stay? Tatsumi had abandoned him and Hisoka was never going to care. There was no one left. He was a soul without attachments. He supposed he should be used to it. He wasn't human so he couldn't be loved by them. His eyes! If it weren't for his lousy eyes!

He closed them and again took a calming breath.

He'd tried to change their color recently. Watari had given him color contacts from the human world when he'd asked if there was a way to do it.

His words were something like, "Tsuzuki, I can't just give you a potion like that!" He snapped his fingers on 'that' to stress his point. "I have work to do! Besides, that'd require a lot of research and trial and error..." He'd looked suddenly enchanted. "That's a great suggestion! I'll get to work as soon as I finish this." He'd poked a mass of brown and Tsuzuki looked wryly at it.

"Why do you want to change your eye color, Tsuzuki?" Watari had asked.

"Because...I thought I would blend in on missons better if the color wasn't so unique." He gave Watari a falsified smile and Watari bought it with a comment about Tsuzuki actually thinking. He knew at that moment that he wasn't loved by Watari; if he were, Watari would have never had said such a thing.

He'd tried the contacts for awhile. He'd chosen the color gold, or rather, Watari had insisted. At first Tsuzuki thought it was because Watari didn't like being the only one with gold eyes, but Watari managed to give him an explanation. Violet and purple were the colors of royalty. The only other color of royalty was 'gold,' and then Watari told him about how eye color often times is the most driving force behind a person's natural personality. He couldn't change the meaning without repercusions.

Tsuzuki hadn't liked the gold, and insisted on blue. He told Watari that gold would be noticable in the human world more than violet.

Tatsumi had suggested hazel, overhearing the conversation. He said it was both the color of innoncence and emotional protection. Tsuzuki respected Tatsumi more than anyone else. Hazel it was.

Hisoka was the only one who noticed who wasn't there when they contacts were put in place. He'd said that contacts would wreak his eyes. Tsuzuki had replied, "I hope that's the case." Hisoka had looked up, no doubt sensing Tsuzuki's bitter emotion, but looked back down. A minute passed, and he looked up again. Tsuzuki didn't miss that second glance, but he knew that if Hisoka ever found out that his violet eyes hid a demon...

Tsuzuki opened his eyes again to green ones peering down at him.

Startled, Tsuzuki said, "Hisoka?"

"You know, I can feel you from a mile away. It's making writing i>our /i> reports very difficult. If you insist on slacking you could at least stay out of my way."

Tsuzuki gave Hisoka a fake smile. He was wounded by his words.

Hisoka straightened himself and crossed his arms, sighing. "Tsuzuki..." Something seemed to catch Hisoka's notice and he leaned over Tsuzuki again.

"Your eyes are violet today."

Tsuzuki was shaken. "I know."

"Good. I hated the hazel. It didn't suit you at all."

Tsuzuki sat up. "No?"

Hisoka shook his head. "No. Besides, I like the violet."

Tsuzuki looked amazed and lost his normal happy composure. He wrapped his arms around Hisoka's legs. Hisoka flailed as he lost his balance and shouted angrily. He landed roughly next to Tsuzuki who hadn't let go of him.

"Don't touch me!" Hisoka yelled.

Tsuzuki looked up with an apologetic smile, and let go. His eyes were tearing, but he didn't bother trying to hide it. He didn't mind letting Hisoka see him like this, mostly because he knew Hisoka would know even if he kept it to himself.

He looked back up to the sky. "Sorry, Hisoka. I just...no one has ever told me they liked my eyes."

Hisoka huffed indigently and sat cross-legged with his arms crossed and his back straight next to Tsuzuki.

"If you wanted a hug you just had to ask, idiot."

Tsuzuki looked at Hisoka in mild surprise. Hisoka letting himself be hugged? He looked calm, but Tsuzuki could see worry behind his eyes, as though he was having second thoughts. Maybe...he thought the suggestion too bold of him?

An idea dawned upon Tsuzuki. Could Hisoka be looking for acceptance as well?

Tsuzuki smiled. "Then yes, I would like a hug."