Disclaimer: Nada.

"Dude! Just do it!" Geoff laughed at Duncan who was trying to calm down the rabid raccoon.

"No way!" Duncan crossed his arms. "Courtney's going to kill me the way it is! Brittany was supposed to stay in her cage and I wasn't even supposed to let her out!"

"Are you really telling me that Courtney can control the raccoon and you can't?" Geoff laughed. "You're so whipped."

"I am not!" Duncan yelled at his friend as he started to call the raccoon who was now scratching it's nails on Chef's wooden counter. "Chef is going to kill us though when he finds out that I brought her in here. So, Courtney is going to kill me for losing our pet and then Chef is going to kill me for ruining his kitchen!"

"Courtney should have never trusted you man." Geoff laughed. "You guys need easier pets, like a cat or a turtle. Then you wouldn't be chasing a wild animal."

"She never does this when Courtney has her!" Duncan glared at his friend. "Brittany usually just sits there and looks cute! Courtney can hold her and brush her and then she goes after my face when Courtney's not around. I think she hates me!"

"Maybe she just wants food?" Geoff opened the fridge. "I live next door to Owen and when he's hungry, he's upset and whiny and it gets annoying so I usually give him a pie!"

"Are you comparing Brittany to Owen?" Duncan asked him. "a person who eats twice his weight in cheese and a raccoon."

"Maybe an apple?" Geoff tossed on to Duncan. "It's an animal. What kind of animal dislikes apples?"

"Brittany." Duncan tossed the apple back to Geoff. "She only eats what Courtney eats. Courtney hates fruit."

"So what do they eat?" Geoff laughed.

"How should I know?" Duncan rolled his eyes as Brittany managed to open a few of the cabinet doors and caused a bunch of pots and pans onto the floor. "Brittany...C'mon...Come to Daddy...You don't hate me, right?"

"Dude, how about peanut butter?" Geoff opened the jar. "C'mon! eat the peanut butter! It's sooo good and if you don't come and get some, I'm going to eat it all by myself!"

"Are you really going to try to bribe a raccoon?" Duncan asked.

"Do you have any better ideas?" Geoff laughed.

"Give me that jar of peanut butter!" Duncan grabbed it. "C'mon Brittany. I don't want to see Chef make you into raccoon soup..."

Brittany responded by jumping on Geoff's head and stealing his hat before ripping it to shreds. Geoff screamed because he had never had a wild animal jump on his head. This made Duncan burst out laughing as Duncan attempted to grab the raccoon who quickly jumped away. At this point, Duncan had no clue what to do or how he was going to catch her. If anyone opened the door to Chef's kitchen, she was going to either run out or attack that person. Geoff wanted to get payback on Duncan for laughing at the loss of his poor hat, so he grabbed the jar of peanut butter, shoved his hands inside the jar and walked over to Duncan, placing his hand down his pants and smearing the peanut butter all over his boxers and then laughing hysterically. This made the raccoon suddenly come over to Duncan, who was trying to unzip his pants at the time, extremely nervous. The Raccoon jumped on Duncan and grabbed his shirt and climbed down his pants, making both Duncan and Geoff burst out laughing. Instead of biting, The fur from the raccoon tickled and he started laughing.

"There you are..." Courtney opened the door to the kitchen. "I was looking for you and Brittany and now I don't really want to know what you're doing with her...and Geoff..."

"Oh god!" Duncan laughed. "I swear it's not what it looks like! This was all Geoff's idea!"

"I'm going to the pool with Bridgette and Izzy." Courtney slowly closed the door. "I'm going to pretend I didn't see this..."

The second Courtney left, Brittany climbed up Duncan and went back in her cage and sat there and stared at Duncan as Geoff just continued to laugh.

"That raccoon made me look like an idiot." Duncan glared at Geoff. "Now Courtney thinks I'm a sick pervert!"

Yep. Duncan got outsmarted by a raccoon and Geoff found this whole thing hilarious. Duncan needed to change his boxers.

Okay, so this was requested by Cereal-Killa and I'm not 100% sure why she wanted this but I figured I would give this a shot and I hope I did this some type of justice. I have no clue what you pictured in your head, but this is the best way I could play it out! I had such a hard time not making this sexual. I think I almost did like 2-3 times. So, I hope that you enjoyed this in some way.