Hard To Tell You (What I'm Feeling)
Written by Liberate Ayane
A/N- Wow! Psuedo-First Person here! Told from Flamedramon's POV, and it's Flamedramon/Angewomon. Don't worry Ange/Ange, I'm a fan, just trying something new.
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When will I tell her I love her? I may never know..... I just wish I could go right up to her and say 'I love you, will you be my girlfriend?" But sadly, I am too afraid, and it doesn't work out that way. Who is the woman you ask?
Angewomon, the most beautiful Digimon in the whole Digital World. My heart spasms whenever I see her, because she is so pretty.... I would do anything so she'd my my girlfriend....
Who am I you ask? I'm Flamedramon, but you may have already knew that. Anyways, I dream everyday, for the moment when I can be alone, and muster up the courage to go to her and ask her my burning question. Whenever I think this, my heart tightens and my mind races.....
Yes, she has the power to do that to any Digimon male she's walked in-front of.... I can see Aquillamon has fallen for her, but not in the way I yearn for her, my own private way. Oh how I wish Angewomon was all mine, but I think I said that already, but hey, it feels good to say that- "How I wish Angewomon was all mine!" Yes! I feel all tight whenever I say that.... it just gives me an uncontroalble urge to be right beside her.... but still.....
There's Angemon.
Sigh... Angemon, the only one in the way of me being next to my coveted Angewomon... her boyfriend. Yeah, Ange and I, are good friends, but I can see this as a possible bump in our friendship.... me wanting his girlfriend, the one he loves so dearly..... I am so jealous of him....
"Hey Flamey! What's going on inside that blue head of yours?"
I jolt and turn around, my heart racing, but it's only Stingmon. Still, I could feel myself fall backwards, and into some bushes in the forest. He laughs at this sight, me getting up, ailbet slowly. I moan for help, and he walks over to lend me a hand.
"A little help?"
"Sure thing Flamey. Whatcha thinkin'? Wanting to play a few pranks on Digmon?"
I brush off the dirt from my arms and chest-plate, but it is tempting to play pranks on poor Digmon, I pass hesitantly, because I want to be alone with my thoughts on Angewomon.
".... I'll pass Stingmon."
I could see the sheer shock on his face when I blurted out those words. He looked like he had been shot by Ken.
"WHAT?! You'd never pass up a good time to prank Digmon! What gives?"
I trembled. Sure I could tell Stingmon about my lust for Angewomon, but he'd probably blab to Digmon, who'd tell Shiryumon, and then he'd tell Angemon... and then... gulp... Angewomon... she'd hate me! But, I wasn't thinking straight, and I accidentaly blurted out to Stingmon my most deepest secret.
".... I'd like to be alone here in the woods to think abut Angewomon."
I had just realized what I said to my friend. I trembled and prepared to be laughed at by him, but there was silence. I got scared and Stingmon said something rather harsh.
"I'd hate to break it to ya Flamey, but she's taken. Angemon won't let any guy near his gal, so you're outta luck. Why don't you try Lillymon?"
I could feel my heart pounding. Angemon..... Angewomon..... Angewomon..... I had realized what Stingmon had said: I would never get close to my deepest desire. I was too obessed over her, and Angemon would hate me If I got near her. I snapped then and yelled at my friend.
"Well? I can dream can't I? I love her! Is there anything wrong with that? I know you like Lillymon, and I don't tell you that you can't have her! ARGH!"
"Flamedramon.... chill..."
Too late, I had ran off intot he woods, away from Stingmon, away from Digmon, Shiryumon, Angemon... and Angewomon..... I could feel lustful tears whisk across my face as I ran, thinking about Angewomon.... I repeated her name in my mind, dreaming I could have her, but It would never happen.......
"Someday.... She'll be in love with me............." I croak as I run, speeding along the forest, and into a small town. I run up to an hotel and pay for the night. Somehow, with my rash obession about Angewomon, I just needed to get away.
"One night please..."
"Okay, payment in the morning"
I walk up the stairs, thinking that Angewomon is beside me. I sort of reach out, like I am holding her, carrying her to my room on the third floor. I open the door, and lock it, and I sit down on a bed, and cry my heart out.
"*sob* Angewomon.... why am I madly in love with you? *sniff*"
I lay down onthe bed, ripping my faceguard off, and let out a good cry, for I don't know how long. Maybe a few hours, minutes, it didn't matter in my moment of sad passion. I tremble, thinking that she was right behind me, watching my every move, hearing my heart beat in pain, hearing my private thoughts about her....
Though I wish it were the case. I begrudgingly get up and take a nice warm shower to eas my tension about the angel Digimon I am obessed with. I feel the water casced off of my shoulders, dripping down from my tail. It's like I feel Angewomon beside me.... but maybe I am going a bit too far.
"Sigh.... I am too obessed with her.... yet she has a raw beauty to make any 'mon quiver at her sight."
I say that aloud, because I feel no one is around me, and I have the utmost privacy in this room. When I am done with my shower, I got out, no towel, and walk to the mirror, no armor on, and look at myself. My pitiful self.
"What am I thinking?"
I feel my thoughts turn from something, into something else...
"Maybe, I wasn't made for her anyway, because I'm not an Angel Digimon like her..... or Angemon...."
I felt a warm hand on my shoulder. My heart rapidly beats, my mind racing. What is going on? Is Angemon here to kill me? A soothing voice speaks from behind, reassuring me of something.
"Flamedramon, don't be scared to tell me you like me. I understand...."
That voice..... I stand stiff, my mucles tense, my compouser broken. It was... Angewomon, in the same room as me.... her hand on my shoulder... my naked shoulder..... I try to turn round, but I can't....
"Why... are you here?"
"Well, Stingmon told me what you said to him. He made me promise not to tell Angemon or the others, so I came here thanks to Gabumon picking up your scent. I wanted to come here and tell you something."
"What... is that?"
"First off, relax your body. It's stiff as a hard stick of bubblegum that TK eats. Second.... Flamedramon, don't be afraid to tell me you like me. You kept it bottled up inside for so long.... why?"
I gulp hard, like a rock was in my throat. She...... she.....
"....... I.... I..... I...."
If I had to go to the bathroom at the time, I would've went then and there.... that's how scared I was. I relax and turn around, and she looks at me, without armor on... I feel so emberassed there.
"I.... was scared, because Angemon...."
"Ohhh, Angemon understands. He's got women all over him too, maybe a guy or two."
"What?"
"We know the feeling it is to be lusted after. Your obession with me could have killed you. But anyway, Flamedramon, just say what you think, I won't yell or get grossed out."
"Okay...."
I stand very stiff, and take a deep breath. I then exhale, saying my deepest feelings.
"Angewomon, I love you very much, even more than anone else I've met before. I just wish you were with me and not Angemon, and... and... and...."
I break down and kneel to the floor, crying. She gently came over to me, reaching her arms out and she hugged me, like I was her brother, hurt or something. I could feel her calming me down, trying to get me to relax or something.
"Shhh..... it's okay..... Flamedramon, I'l let you stay here tonight by yourself and let you get this out of your system..... but please get back to the rest of us tomorrow... we're all worried."
"O-o-o-okay....."
But before she left, she walked up to me, and gave me a kiss on the neck..... right between the shoulder and neck. I could feel myself getting warm. She kissed me.... I felt so alive then..... she left the room, and I fell on the bed, sobbing mixed tears of happiness, and sadness.
"Angewomon..... I know you care... but I wish you were mine....."
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As I walk out of the hotel, I can't help but feel a deep love for Flamedramon as well.
"Flamedramon... I really wish you were mine too... but I have another...."
I meet up with Angemon shortly outside the entrance to the tangled forest. He has a quizzical expression, as if to ask me:
"What have you been doing?"
"Oh... nothing Angemon..... nothing at all."
"All right then. Hey, where's Flamedramon?"
"He would like to be alone for the rest of today, private, personal things."
"Okay. Just wanted to know if he was safe."
He's safe alirght, safe from an obession driving him to the brink of insanity..... I hope I helped him... I may not know until tomorrow...... I walk way, turning around, and I bow, and leave.
"See you later....... my Flamedramon."
*The End*