Zeno stared at the papers before him, knowing that he would never have the stomach to send them and he fought off the urge to destroy the words all together. Maybe it was for the best to write them down and admit it, with the slight chance that the one in question would come along his letter on their own since shame forbid him from sending this letter. He scowled, knowing staying would only dwindle his will power, and turned to leave the room. The papers sat alone and empty on the pristine desk, only a few choice words having been painstakingly scrawled on their surface.
Dear Zatch,
I have been contemplating just what to write and how to write it for so long, but I've since given up. Telling you this is just too difficult for your older brother to manage at this time and these words are so hard for me to admit, even to myself. They are … a weakness.
I am jealous of you. I am so, so jealous of you in more ways than I have already told you. It is shameful when I supposed to be the big one, to guide you instead of harboring such emotions that I promised to throw away. But when I watch you … you make friends so easily and are so care free. Zatch, you speak and laugh and joke and play with such ease.
I am afraid that I will never be able to make any friends like you do, but perhaps having you for a brother will be enough. I can only hope that my habit of drudging up such awful emotions does not ruin our relationship as well.
Deepest apologies …
Your older brother, Zeno