Chapter 1
There was a land called Narcissus,
Where every person would insist,
They were the best in every way,
Regardless of what others say.
And every year they held a game,
"The Braggers Challenge" was its name,
the object was to be the best,
and put your rival to the test.
The more you brag best you score,
Just brag about how you have more.
But in this town there lived a man,
Not like the others in this land,
He never bragged, not even once,
Some people called poor Joe dunce,
Yes, Joe's the hero of this tale,
His hair was blond, his skin was pale,
He was not rich he was not poor,
He only owned his father's store,
One day while working at the store,
He heard a banging on his door,
"Open up! Police! I know you're in there!" he heard someone bark.
"Uh, it's a store, Bill, you can just walk in, I'm open," Joe said.
"Oh…right ," he said.
And then the door was pushed aside,
As Bill, still shouting, burst inside,
"Joe Swallow, you are here by being arrested for crimes of being an average!" he announced booming.
"Come again," Average Joe said, confused.
"You've yet to have successfully defeated an opponent in the braggers challenge; correct?" Bill interrogated.
"Well I guess not, yeah that's right," Joe said slowly.
"The law states that any citizen who fails to overcome their opponent, after two years of participating in the Braggers Challenge, at least once, will be arrested and sentenced to death!" he said never lowering his voice.
"Death?" Joe gasped in capable of any thing else to say.
"Yes, death," Bill said, his voice calm now, almost sorry.
"Bill, you can't do this to me!" Joe protested.
"That's Officer Bill to you, Buddy!" he corrected.
"I've known you since I was a kid, you can't be serious," Joe said, his voice softer now.
"If I just over look this how do you think it's going to affect me, or my family. I'm sorry, but you know they come first," he said, his voice was sympathetic.
"Yes I understand," Joe said, calmly, in a sad tone.
Joe grimaced and with his balled fist,
He pound the counter in a fit.
"That's not good enough! There's got to be something I can do to avoid this! It isn't fair!" he screamed.
"Joe, the only thing that can save you now is if you beat the king at the braggers challenge…and you and I both know that it will never happen," he reminded him.
When it came to the bragging test,
There was no doubt, the King was best,
The King would brag of lots of stuff,
If being king wasn't enough
He could not ever once be beat,
He'd kill you if you if you tried to cheat,
Joe laid his head down on his hand,
The stress was just too much to stand.
I'm really sorry," he said, exciting the front door Bill, "Maybe you'll get lucky."
He heard the door close, "Poor Joe," he heard an odd voice say, he lifted hi head up. "Poor, stupid, gutless, naïve, Joe." The man was far from normal, with patches on his skin, and his wrinkled features.
"Who are you?" Joe asked.
"My name is Rumplepiltskin. No, wait, dang it, I wasn't supposed to tell you that!" he screamed.
"Can I help you?" he asked the man confused.
"Oh no, Joe, the question is 'can I help you?'" he corrected.
"What does that mean?" he asked.
"It means I'm here to make a deal." he grinned. They eyed each other.
"Fine, I'm listening," Joe said crossing his arms.
"That's what I like to hear!" the man grinned clutching the air.
"So what's the deal?" he asked.
"Well, it's like this, you see, I have a daughter perhaps a year younger than yourself. And although some may not see it, She is the most beautiful girl in all of the world," he said with a half-hearted smile. "Although for some reason, my wife and I just can't find the right husband for her," he sighed. "But, that's where you come in, see," he said, his voice animated again, "You my boy are the lucky man who will take my daughter's hand in marriage," he concluded.
"Alright then," Joe said shrugging.
"Great! Whoa! Hold it, hang on, that's it? You'll just say yes like that?" the man studdered.
"Sure," he said shrugging again.
"You haven't even met the girl!"
"Well, I mean, if it means I wont face execution, then well anything goes."
"Jeez, what kind of hero are you?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Joe demanded
"Don't you know anything? You are supposed to be freaked and beg for another deal! I am forcing you to get married!" he told him. Joe only blinked.
"In sickness or in health…," he said with his teeth clenched. Joe blinked again.
"'til death do you part…," he said; blink.
"Well if you're alright with wedding a complete stranger and it doesn't bother you…," another blink.
He sighed, "…then I guess we have a deal," he said irritated.
"Hold it this is going to get me out of an execution right?
"Yeah, sure, sure, no execution and life's back to sunshine, rainbows, unicorns and gender confused boy bands, all that god stuff," he pulled his hood over his head and opened the door for himself, "She'll be here tomorrow morning. Oh, and take care of my little girl, Son." And just like that he was gone.