Behind the Glass
A special fic for my friend Jenny who's always been so understanding
and who's always loved the quiet one
Fuu
Five hundred forty six days, three hours and about seven minutes ago was the time she first saw him. In that moment she was bound to him as though she owed him her life, even though it was the other way around. He was a bachelor then, as he was now. Something about the dignified way he held himself made her sigh and 'oh' at the sight of him. Stoic and honest albeit too much at times, but that was him. His raven hair offset by his pale skin was held back in a tie and rarely let down, although she spied him on one or two occasions with it unkempt. Glasses hid his dark feral eyes. Through his calm demeanor she could sense the animal within when he'd glance at her over the rims. Lowering the spectacles with that knowing smirk and eyebrow raise. He was her Adonis, her Ulysses, her sovereign, her mentor.
Days moved swiftly from that first encounter. Passing in halls and rooms, her body shivering when the cramped spaces often brushed their bodies together. Innocent enough despite her own carnal thoughts, she excused herself and sighed desperately as he only nodded in approval. At night she prayed for release. Release from this wanton need to be, to feel and accept her passion. It was not allowed, unheard of even in their place. Glistening tears of affection in honey eyes that gripped the edge of reason wanted to painfully cry out…only to be met by a whisper of lust dusted with love.
"Why? Why can't it be?"
On her rosy lips adorning creamy alabaster skin she asked. It wasn't so much to know why, was it? Oh the desire of her heart for the man she loved. Not in showy pretension, but in calm, appreciative apprehension did she love. Palms laid flat on doors and walls, that she knew he was behind. Her hands lingering on her hips as she dressed. Sighing in the bath as her fingers lingered on pink nipples. Gasping in the forbidden touches. Not by herself, but by who she anticipated it would be. Envisioned strong calloused hands running over her skin as she leaned into his touch. His breath hot on her neck whispering sentiments of a love eternal and undying as the sun as she moaned his name.
"Jin." Not so audible as her companions would notice. Beseeching it so.
A name? No it was a prayer or perhaps a sin. They rhymed, Jin and sin. Perhaps that was her sign. As she stepped out the door into the plain hall watching the sconces flicker in the dark. A warning to make her stop as she made her way down past the doors to her providence. She could stop, or turn the opposite way to the downstairs and occupy herself with some merit to their host. She didn't want to. Her heart pounding in her chest she stood before the door her hand shaking as she reached for the entrance.
"Ah."
A gasp of surprise escaped as she became conscious of what she was doing. That she was inches away from what could be. Pulling back she swallowed hard and backed away. She was wrong to have ever thought that maybe she could have approached him. No not him. Stepping away she followed her feet to her room feeling invisible eyes on her. Watching they smiled maliciously to bring her grief for her passion. To beguile her into a false security of it being safe now that she'd turned back and not carried it out. Her head hung in shame as she soon realized that if anyone were to be suspect of her that her life was fairly over.
"Late night?"
A voice from down the hall mocked as she froze and tried, in vain, to hold her composure.
"Yes, I couldn't sleep I went for a walk."
A smile, he was quiet and so she knew he was smiling. The ting of a glass and the spiking scent of ferment she knew he'd been in the sake again.
"Best be getting to sleep them?"
"Yes, goodnight Mugen."
A quick shut and a latch renewed her security as she listened to his footsteps stop outside her door. His breath was quick and ragged. As usual he was watching her with a look so intense lust seemed an inappropriate term to give it. She was a woman after all, even if he had no interest in her in sobriety, she was still a woman to his inebriated mind and that was all that mattered. Moving on, his footfalls fell to nothing as she leaned against the door. Slumping to the ground she wondered did she look at Jin like that.
Jin
Staring at the flickering flame he sighed with contempt just shy of hate. The orange flame danced in endless mirth at his pain. It mocked him with it's seductive hue and heat. Burning into the wax making the sweet smell of sage drift around the room. Resting his fingertips near the wick he followed the round curve of the flame closing his eyes at the gentle warmth. A vision of chestnut hair and honey toned eyes on crème skin made him smile as he leaned back onto the futon.
"Fuu."
The girl, as she had been when this all started, had been a nuisance at the very least in her silly ways. Though had he known then her potential for grace and beauty, he would have acted differently. Wouldn't he? Didn't he? He watched for her and silently cursed those who leered at her in perverse covet. Sometimes he'd slit their throats when she wasn't watching if they followed. It was difficult as she matured. Protecting a girl was one thing, but a woman proved more difficult to shield. And soon the noble protector found himself in a new arrangement of emotion. Due to his calm persona, which contrasted so with her lighthearted youthful nature he'd once or twice been mistaken as the father. But lately within the past year or so she'd become a striking beauty. The times he'd spent watching her. The full swing of her hips, slight increase in height and generous curve of her breasts made her more than the foolish child he'd first met.
Her voice melodic and earnest in her musings that still consisted of nothing but what Mugen referred to as drabble. He thought Mugen a fool for that same drabble gave her a natural tact for entertaining with conversation. Skilled so much in the linguistic arts of humor and wit that one would think the geishas had trained her. Yet none was strained, it came natural and unrehearsed in waves of sincerity and graciousness.
"So young. She deserves one less troubled."
It felt wrong. The way he'd watch her protectively as others would converse. Often he would let their lascivious comments slide, as he in principle had no claim to her. She would wave off the innuendos with a witty retort or oblique insult. Her charms proving more and more to be useful in their travels as her wiles swayed even women to offer them separate rooms when only one could be afforded. Truly a blessing to them both she often bade them stay away while she coerced favors and supplies from male merchants. All for them, to keep them well rested and fed. But never did she defile herself.
She'd never approached him to suggest that he would be a possible choice for a suitor, though the few words they did share were mostly hidden as gestures and expressions. She was young, too young perhaps for him. Though he was not her senior by much it was enough to cause whispers in the towns especially considering his mature mannerisms. Comments of child brides and spoils of war shared between two vigilantes. He wanted badly to tell them all what was true and dispel the illusion, but in her grace and understanding she'd always touch his arm, at times his hand, shaking her head and frowning in exhaustion she'd utter that it wasn't worth their time.
"So gentile, so elegant."
Turning he moved to get up, upon standing his head rushed with the elevation change. He didn't realize exactly how long he'd been laying awake. Why did it torture him so? He was a man like any other, it was right to lust after women such as Fuu. Ones that were full and soft with eyes of fireflies. It was nothing out of the ordinary and yet he felt immoral watching from the pathways, allowing her to walk ahead to admire her. Glancing modestly so as to be unnoticed to see if she ever turned her gaze to him. The few times he'd seen it she'd only squeaked in surprise at catching him looking at her and then looked away. She was not going to see him as more than a protector, a friend, an older brother at the most. His hand on his temple he clenched his jaw ready to slice the room to bits. Holding his arm over the candle his listened to the sizzle of his flesh. Feeling the pain drawing out the unrequited emotion.
"Ah!"
A simple cry as he pulled his arm back gasping at the searing burn that seemed to travel up his body and down to his fingers. A knock, soft and shaky as it almost wasn't audible.
"Fuu." He said watching her standing tearstained in the frame.
Her supple lips quivering as she eyed the burn she grasped his hand and pulled him back into the room shutting the door. Quickly as usual she started rambling on and on about injuries and being careful. Tearing at her kimono she dipped the cloth into a bowl of water. Pressing lightly to the wound she furrowed her brow trying to keep her poise. After all the wounds she'd bound it was still hard to see him or Mugen injured, even minutely.
"There."
She wrapped the burn tenderly her hair falling all around her face. It wasn't tied up like it usually was. Jin smiled slightly, seeing her unfettered locks.
"Thank you"
"What were you doing? How did this happen?"
Her gentle words rounded out of her soft lips as her eyes looked up to meet his. He couldn't lie to her, he didn't want to. Not Fuu, not ever.
"I was trying to forget."
Her hand rested on his thigh hardly there, barely felt.
"Forget what?"
She leaned closer her body just brushing his as he struggled to stay calm. His hand rested atop hers and to his surprise she didn't move away.
"Things I should not think."
Eyes looking away suddenly she slipped her hand away as she stood. Muttering about the safety of candles she raised the wax stick setting it in a glass lantern. It's glow filled the room more, now that it was behind the clear panes. Now that he could no longer touch it he was safe.
"Safe." He whispered.
"Yes, it's better to be careful, lest you burn yourself a second time."
Again her silken hands touched him. Pressing lightly on the linen bandage of her ripped kimono she smiled. Instead of moving her hand up and away she allowed her fingers to play lightly down his arm to his wrist and fingers, leaving goose bumps as she turned to leave.
"It's best I go, you're all right now. Ah,"
A hand gripped her wrist. Holding tightly she was bound to her place. She made no struggle nor called for help, but breathed in starts, distracted, as though her heart stopped in that one motion.
She could feel him. His fingers slender and rough moved lightly on her wrist in the gentle possessive way that was Jin. He was standing behind her now. His body heat just barely noticeable against her back as he hesitated.
Eyes closed he reached out touching her neck smoothly with his fingertips. Breath held, he almost choked when she leaned her head to one side allowing her hair to fall away from the creamy skin. A daring move, he placed his hand on her moving closer, his breath against her ear he did permit himself to caress her cheek.
Relishing in the touch she sighed in delight as his mouth found it's way to her collarbone. Insistent and surreptitious as she arched her head hitting just below his shoulder. Her arms around his neck she scratched lightly as his hands roamed farther stroking one firm breast before licking lightly behind her ear.
She moaned as he touched her, just like he'd envisioned a thousand times before. Although he never thought she'd tolerate such actions. Releasing her he turned her to face him shoving the fabric away from her shoulders as he embraced her his hands moving the kimono the rest of the way meeting the floor with a soft thud. Leading her to the futon his lips ravished her. Touching every place available on the warm yielding flesh. His hands moving ever closer to her thighs wanting her, needing her he had to make her his.
Her small hands sliding the ties undone as she undressed him, her eyes wide with shock and desire. Holding him close she shuddered at the feel of his skin on hers. Strong and toned his voice almost growling as she nipped his neck lightly. Raising up his long dark hair tickled her nose as she smiled reaching up to remove the tie. Tucking the strands behind one ear he touched her face sweetly with the back of his hand peering at her with those dark eyes.
"Fuu," He smiled. Not that she hadn't seen him do so before, but this was different. "I love you."
As always, as with his fighting so was his love. Graceful and executed to be the most effective. Gingerly she reached up to remove the frames of the glass that bound him. They were a balance. A window to more than the stoic ronin she'd loved for so long. Setting them aside, she felt his hand move down her body lingering at her breast as she gasped in pleasure.
"Jin. I want you to love me. Not just in your mind, but now and always. Love me as I love you, as I always have."
Pressing his lips to hers at long last he gripped her tightly. His tongue slipping past her lips to taste her lovingly as she pressed her body into his. Moving away he left her lips roaming her skin for pleasure points. Touching, sucking, grazing lightly savoring her moans and pants.
Fingers drove her to the edge as she bucked in rhythm his thumb stroking her maiden hood. His lips on hers as she kissed and licked gasping his name when his fingers hit that same spot over and over. He was like sugar and sake. Sweet and intoxicating as she'd never felt before. Her Adonis, her Ulysses, her sovereign, her mentor, her lover.
"Jin, I…I…ah…"
"Shh," He soothed removing his hand from her thighs. Kissing her eyelids softly he moved between her legs watching her in anticipation. "Please know that I will never hurt you. I will be there always, death being the only thing to take me from you." He leaned in for another tender kiss. "I promise."
A slow easy thrust and she arced her chest against him as he wrapped an arm around her back holding her to him. Slow and deep she sighed and whimpered gripping the sheets as he suckled her breast, his thrusts still even and strong. The ebb and flow of their bodies in the candle light casting shadows of their love. Not confined, nor cautious. Heated and passionate the flames that burned threatened to consume them both until the unified climax of the dénouement.
The candle burned away to nothing, the room now dark as he held her close. She was asleep in his arms as he dreamed of many nights before. Kissing her neck softly so as not to wake her he rested back to sleep himself. Her body turned as she nuzzled into his neck throwing an arm over his chest.
"Jin. I love you."
A whisper in her sleep, he smiled holding her tight.
He smiled reaching to hide the glasses behind the lantern. "I know. And I will stay with you my love."