Chapter 1

A/N Sorry for the long absence from . I have no excuses – the inspiration just wasn't hitting! Thankfully the start of the new series has got my muse working and this is the result:

Aaron Hotchner stood at his office window, overlooking the bullpen below. It had been a long and painful few months for his team, but things finally appeared to be falling back into place. He smiled as he looked down on the once familiar sight of Derek Morgan and Emily Prentiss ganging up on Spencer Reid. The only difference in this scene from previous occasions was in Reid's reaction to their teasing. The once awkward young man had changed hugely in the past few months. Whereas before he would have been flustered and confused by their teasing, now he was giving as good as he got; trading insults and laughing along with his colleagues. It had taken time, but Emily had eventually managed to mend her relationship with the two younger male profilers. There had been anger and recriminations, but they had eventually conceded that Emily had essentially been forced into the decision to fake her death and hide away from them all. They had made it clear that she had hurt them by not trusting them with the initial investigation into Doyle, but had accepted her apology and the heartfelt promise that it wouldn't happen again.

The team had been less forgiving when it came to his own involvement in Emily's disappearance. Whilst Rossi had been understanding from the start, Morgan, Reid and Garcia had been understandably hurt and angry. With Morgan, there had been a number of angry outbursts; whilst Garcia and Reid had responded with silence and clear distrust during the first few cases after Emily's return. His position as SSA in charge had, he realised, protected him from the worst of their anger on two counts. Firstly, they (even Morgan) recognised that, since he was their supervisor, they needed to at least attempt to stay professional. They had held back on their anger to a certain extent, although this had left a clear distance between him and his team. This led to the second benefit of his position – he was used to there being a distance and, to a certain extent, he was used to the isolation this caused. As time had passed their anger with him had dissipated slightly and, although there was still some discomfort between them, he finally felt that he was becoming part of the team again.

JJ, however, hadn't been quite so lucky. Once the team had become aware of her involvement in Emily's 'death' she had been almost immediately isolated. There had been no shouting, no recriminations, only a deafening silence and the occasional barbed comment. Rossi, again, had been understanding and was treating her no differently than before and Emily had obviously tried to be friendly and supportive, but it was clear that the rest of the team were feeling less than forgiving. Hotch sighed deeply as he saw that JJ was currently sat separately from the other profiler, apparently totally focused on work. She was paler and thinner than she had been before she had left to go to the State Department. It looked to him like the situation was slowly pushing her to the edge of her ability to cope.

He looked on grimly as Emily tried to include JJ in the conversation on the opposite desk, earning herself nothing more than a small smile before JJ turned back to her work. She seemed to have given up on any hope that the two men would want to talk to her. Hotch had tried to speak to them all about the situation, but his input had done nothing to ease it. JJ had merely shrugged and muttered something about not blaming them for their anger and the others had promised to keep things professional, but wouldn't concede to anything else.

As he was watching the team, JJ stood up and walked away from the profilers' desks. A moment later there was a knock on his door.

"Can I have a word Hotch?" JJ asked quietly as she entered the room.

"Of course" Hotch replied. "What can I do for you?"

JJ didn't respond to his question for a few moments and Hotch was just about to ask it again when JJ silently handed him a letter. He looked up at her questioningly.

"It's my letter of resignation" she said, her voice cracking with emotion as she spoke. "I can't work like this anymore and I don't think it's safe for me to be out in the field with the team. I don't think Morgan or Reid, or Garcia for that matter, trust me to have their back and I sure as hell don't trust them to have mine."

"I'm sure they…" Hotch started to respond before JJ interrupted him.

"No" she said emphatically, "they don't. They hate me. I don't blame them for it. I lied to them and I caused them a lot of pain. I hoped that they would be able to get over it eventually, but obviously they can't and I can't cope with working in this atmosphere anymore. I get enough hatred and recriminations at home. I don't need it here too."

As she spoke, the tears began to stream down her face. Hotch put his hand on her shoulder and gently led her over to the couch.

"What's happening at home JJ?" he asked. "Is it Will? Is he unhappy that you've come back to the BAU?"

"Will and I are taking a break" JJ said, trying desperately hard to get control of her emotions. "He went back to New Orleans 2 weeks ago for a month so he can have some time to think about 'us'."

"I'm sorry JJ" Hotch said softly, handing her a tissue. "Where's Henry?"

"At the moment?" JJ asked sardonically. "Right now he's in day care. If I get out of here before 5 I'll pick him up and take him home, otherwise I have to beg my elderly neighbour to look after him."

"Who had him when we were out of state last week?" Hotch asked, wondering how the hell the young woman was dealing with this.

"My Dad picked him up from day care and flew him back to East Allegheny" JJ answered, "but I can't keep on messing him about like this. He's already confused about where Will is."

"The hatred and recriminations you were talking about earlier?" Hotch asked. "If Will isn't around …"

"Henry doesn't understand what's going on at the moment and I'm the only person around for him to blame" JJ said, the pain obvious in her voice.

"Oh JJ" Hotch said sympathetically, "I'm really sorry. Why didn't you say something?"

"I thought I could cope" JJ said, shrugging, "but I obviously can't. I need to be home for Henry at the moment and I can't cope with the stress of being here with everyone, so I'm handing in my notice. I've got plenty of holiday due to me. If it's OK with you, I'll work until the end of the week and then use my holiday time to look for a new job."

"I think you need to think this through JJ" Hotch said calmly.

"You think I haven't agonized over this?" JJ asked angrily. "I used to love this job Hotch. I still love the people, even if I don't like them very much at the moment. But this is killing me and it's tearing my family apart. I can't do this anymore."

"At least give me a chance to speak to the others" Hotch said. "I'm sure, if they realise just how much that this is affecting you…"

"Even if they do" JJ argued, "I'm not sure I want to work with them again. The last few months have been hell and I don't think I can forgive them for that."

"That's fair enough JJ – totally understandable" Hotch said thoughtfully, "but you're obviously exhausted and stressed at the moment. You should be clear headed before you make a decision like this. Will leaving you with Henry is clear grounds for compassionate leave. I can give you up to a month to work things through with Will and to give yourself some time to heal and think."

"I don't know" JJ said, obviously undecided.

"I don't want to lose you JJ" he said, leaning towards her and looking into her eyes. "You are way too valuable to this team and I know that the others will realise that with time. You have been part of this family for 8 years and I'm not going to lose you again without a fight. Do you understand me?"

He watched as the emotion overtook his friend. The tears poured down her face and she could do no more than nod in response to his statement. Putting aside his normally professional persona, he put his arms around her and pulled her into a hug as she sobbed in his arms. Her emotional response was proof positive to him that she was on the edge of a complete breakdown and he cursed himself for not being more forceful with the rest of his team. He certainly wouldn't be holding back once JJ had gone home.

Eventually JJ calmed down and pulled out of his embrace, avoiding his gaze.

"I want you to go home now and get some rest before you pick up Henry" he said firmly. "I'll call you tomorrow to see how you are, but you can call me anytime if you need anything. OK?"

JJ nodded, looking exhausted, as she stood to leave. She walked slowly to the door, collecting the bag that she had dropped by the door on her way.

"Thanks" she said quietly, before slipping out of the door.

Hotch watched as she walked into the elevator, deliberately avoiding Emily and Garcia who were on their way out of the technical analyst's room. When Garcia looked up and gave him a questioning look he stared back at her, not even trying to hide his anger, before walking back into his office and slamming the door.