The Time It Takes To Grow
summary: Barry learned more than one lesson from his time stuck in the musical world. Before he can ask Iris once more to be his wife, he has to learn from his mistakes and takes a little time to talk to Joe. [short missing scene from 3x17 'Duet']
genre: Family
authors note: title inspiration and lyrics are from "The Time It Takes To Grow" by The Morning Of
If I said I was sorry would you believe in me
If I did what I promised would you still love me
If I said I was changing would you give me a chance
Got me lost in the seconds and the time it takes to grow
Barry waved one last time as Kara, Mon-el and J'onn entered the breach that would take them back to their Earth. As the blue portal evaporated, he couldn't help but take in a deep breath, sad to see his friend go but happy things worked out in their favor. It'd been a long day, not only for the two of them trapped in the Music Meister's 'lesson' but also the ones left behind in the real world at a loss for how to help the two people they cared about.
His musings were interrupted as he felt a gentle hand slide into his right hand, his fingers lacing the ones he knew so well automatically like a reflex, as if it was his body's natural reaction to the feel of Iris' hand in his. Her body moved close to him, her left hand squeezing his as their arms pressed against each.
"How are you feeling?" she asked softly, looking up at him as she crossed her free right hand over her body to rub at the bicep of the arm she held onto. "You've been through a lot today."
"So has everybody else I hear," he smiled down at her.
"Do not deflect attention from yourself, Bartholomew," she gave his arm a playful squeeze. "We almost lost you. I almost lost you."
Barry knew her last sentence meant more than just the past few hours. It'd only been a week since they decided to take some space. It hadn't been a breakup but they each had just needed some time in order to collect their thoughts and get their heads straight before being able to move forward together. And as he held her hand and looked at the person he loved more than anything in the multiverse, he could see and feel that they were ready to do that now.
"I'm okay, Iris," he gave her a hand a reassuring squeeze. "Just a little tired."
"Well," she moved to stand in front of him now, guiding the hand she held to her hip. He took the physical cue and brought his left hand up as well till both rested on Iris' slim hips, thumbs massaging gently as they moved across the material of her dress as both of her hand's traveled up to Barry's chest, fingers delicately tracing the emblem on his uniform."What do you say we go home. Together."
Barry smiled at Iris, leaned down and pressed his lips against her's. It was a simple kiss, brief and gentle lasting no more than a few seconds, but it was enough to feel her smiling against his lips as he did.
"Let me go get changed and take care of something first and I'll meet you at the car, " Barry said softly and Iris noticed that even in just the week they were apart how much she missed seeing him smile. "Shouldn't take me more than a few minutes."
She nodded, pecking his lips once more before leaving the breach room. Barry stood watching her leave, waited till he knew she had gone far enough down the hall before speeding upstairs to change into his jeans, converse, and sweater, grabbing the brown jacket he had been favoring a lot recently, and flashing back to the cortex in just a few seconds. Joe, Cisco, Caitlin and HR were still gathered, all getting ready to head home after an eventful day, their collective attention gathered as a gust of wind breezed through as Barry slid to a stop.
"The Earth-38 crew get off okay?" Cisco asked, receiving a thumbs up from Barry before the speedster walked over to Joe.
"Hey," Barry said, placing a hand on Joe's shoulder. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"
"Of course, Barr," Joe said, following Barry as they headed out into the hallway. "You gonna give me a taste of that singing and dancing you were doing?"
Barry chuckled, shaking his head as Joe laughed. The truth was Joe was serious when he said he would have payed good money to see Barry sing and dance. He knew Barry had a great voice, having heard it when the boy was growing up when he would sing along to the radio in the car or to himself while he was busying himself with chores or experiments. He also knew Barry could dance because Joe used to play his jazz records loudly on the weekends and together the small family of three would sing and dance in the living room or backyard. Joe had tried to encourage Barry to pursue it growing up, to join a band or a performance group but Barry always protested. Not only was he shy, but the thought of it reminded him of his mother who loved performance art, singing and dancing, and the idea of doing it without her was too much for Barry. So Joe never pushed it further and just enjoyed it when Barry would get lost in the music, forget his grief, and just open up and shine. Knowing that Barry was watching musicals during his time away from Iris hurt Joe's heart, understanding the implication of the kind of pain he was in when he turned to the reminders of his mother for comfort. But seeing Barry after coming out of the dream world, Joe could see things were about to get better between he and Iris just by looking at the way they were looking at each other again.
"You okay, Barr?" Joe asked as they came to stand right outside the cortex entrance, his own hands in his pockets and Barry's arms folded over his torso, his jacket draped over his arms. Joe couldn't help but be concerned at the strange expression on Barry's face.
"Yeah, I'm good. I just…" Barry's voice trailed off as he bit the inside of his cheek, looking up at the man he revered as a father. "Joe, I'm sorry."
Joe was taken back, surprised by the random apology and unsure what Barry was apologizing for. He didn't need to ask for Barry to clarify because his son saw the confused look on his face.
"I went about everything the wrong way. I should have asked you for your permission to ask Iris to marry me and I never meant to show you any disrespect." Barry finally said, down-casting his eyes once more.
"I know, Barr," Joe reached a hand to clasp Barry's shoulder, dipping his head to catch Barry's averted eyes.
"The truth is part of the reason I did ask was because I wanted to change the future but not just to save Iris, but because I do want to build a future with her. I know now that I can't just do things to save her. She doesn't need to be saved. Iris is incredible, strong and smart and sometimes I get lost in how much I love her and how dangerous it can be being with me," Barry swallowed the rising emotion he felt coming, trying to maintain his anxiety enough to say to Joe what he needed to say. "But today she saved me. She always saves me, always brings me back and brings me home when I get wrapped up or lost or afraid, whether I'm the Flash or just Barry."
Joe couldn't help but think back on when Iris found out the Barry was the Flash after the Grodd incident. How Joe had told his daughter as he lay in that hospital bed that he hadn't told her about everything because in his efforts to protect her, his love for her tended to blind him in forgetting that she could protect herself. He could empathize with Barry's decision, knew why he felt like he had to do everything he could to keep her safe. When you love something that much, you'll do anything to protect it.
"But all that aside Joe, none of that changes the fact that I do want to marry Iris. She's everything to me, always has been. I know now that I can sometimes get lost in the seconds and the minutes that pass by when I'm moving so fast. But some things are worth slowing down for, taking the time to get it right. So with that," Barry reached into the pocket of his jacket draped over his arms, the one he'd been wearing when he moved out of their loft when Iris gave him the ring back a week ago. His fingers latched onto the small white gold engagement ring and pulled it out for Joe to see. "I'd like your permission to ask Iris to marry me."
Joe spared a glance down at the ring, not surprised that Barry was going to ask her again, but a little surprised that it would be this soon. The truth was Barry didn't need Joe's permission. Iris was an empowered young woman who was in charge of her own decisions and her own life, Barry had always been a son to him anyway, and Joe always knew this day would come. But in the crazy life they led, Joe found comfort in a little normalcy and tradition. Iris and Barry were his world and he just wanted to be a participant in what he always knew would come to fruition between them.
"Barry," Joe brought his other hand up to Barry's other shoulder, bracing them both in a steady grip. "I'm proud of you. What you've overcome, with all you've seen, I am so proud of the man you've become. Everything you do is with love, even when you mess up it's usually because you care too much and feel things so deeply. Maybe because it's of all you lost-"
"What I lost and what I gained," Barry interrupted, Joe dipping his head with a smile as he continued.
"I had no idea how special you would be to me when you first came into our lives, Barr. But suddenly the three of us were a family and nothing could ever change how important that is to me. But now, to see just how much you love her, my little girl, and how much she loves you, I'm so thankful you two have found your way to each other. I'm excited to have you officially as a son-in-law but never forget that you are my son first."
Barry didn't get the opportunity to respond before Joe pulled him by the shoulder towards him, enveloping the young man in the deep kind of hug that Barry had grown up with. It meant love, it meant safety. Iris hugged the same way and Barry learned quickly how to do the same. Barry brought his arms up around Joe's shoulders, wrapping them tight around Joe's back.
"You have my blessing," Joe said around the lump in his throat as he moved to kiss the side of Barry's head before pulling away.
"I love you, Joe."
"I love you too," Joe reached to cup his face in one hand, tempted to pull his kid into another hug but knowing he had to let the man go.
Barry clapped Joe on the shoulder, flashing him a slightly teary smile, before turning to speed off to meet up with Iris. Joe lingered in the hall, his own teary gaze still focused on the now empty spot where Barry had run from. He hadn't been upset when he found out Barry had proposed without asking him, he was just struggling with the idea that his kids were now adults who no longer needed to ask for permission to move forward with the stages of their lives. And all though he knew they would always want him, they really didn't need him. For Joe nothing would bring him more joy than seeing Barry and Iris get married, his two beautiful kids. But it was knowing that now they no longer belonged to him, but to each other instead, that was the real thing he was struggling with.
The last few weeks had been difficult with all that had gone on between Savitar, Wally, and Barry and Iris. But like everything else that had been thrown their way, they prevailed. The blessing was he'd seen many things come together stronger after falling apart and he knew that included Barry and Iris. Joe took comfort though in how proud he was of both Barry and Iris. He had vowed to protect them both, Iris at birth and Barry eleven years later, and they were each becoming forces of good in this world. He knew he did right by them. They were his life and to see them begin to make a new one together, Joe couldn't ask for a greater gift. He didn't ask Barry how he was going to do it because he wanted to be surprised by their story as they told it to him with those full beam smiles that brightened up Joe West's whole world. The way the year had been going, the uncertainty of the future looming over them, their hadn't been many of those moments to celebrate. But you take the wins where you can.
He had no doubt that Iris would say yes tonight, and Joe had to smile at the fact that not every father got the chance to hear his daughter beam about being asked to marry the love of her life twice. Not every father got to be as involved in his kids life as they become adults like he was. Not every father could say he'd raised his daughter to be strong enough to not find her worth in a relationship but within herself despite the odds stacked against her by being raised by a single parent. Not every father could say he'd raised his adopted son to recognize that despite his tragedies, his broken heart, he was still worthy of love. And not every father got to watch the two people most important in his life put in the time, effort and love it takes to grow together.