music for mood: Spirited Away - Inochi no Namae (piano version)

Prolouge: An Invitation

Celica:

I do not think I can take this anymore. I am tired and often times I do not feel like I am good enough. I am aware that this sounds like a shallow complaint. I know that Alm dose nearly everything. I had thought when I married him we would be equals, and though he treats me as one, the kingdom dose not. They see me as an accessory to their king. A gentle queen of royal blood who walks behind him even though I am right beside him. A bridge for the newly combined kingdoms. During meetings I find it hard to get a word in. I am unable to speak over Alm. Only my brother seems to notice this.

I am going to talk to him today, because there is another issue that has been bothering me for the past year now. I do not love him. I mean, I do love him. But, I just do not love him in the way the kingdom would prefer. And, if I were to be honest, I am certain he dose not love me as he says he dose.

So here I am at front of his door. It is supposed to be the door to our room and office. A room that we never shared.

Alm:

Wars. Hunger. Funding. I think I need to do more but, as a king, I am inexperienced. I am here in my room, looking at all this paper and I am lost. This is not an area my granfather trained me in. Give me a man and I can make him in to a solider, give me an army and I have have the will to lead it, give me a kingdom and I only wallow in confusion. As I gently lay my pile of work down on my wood desk and my eyes begin to wonder to the engravings carved into the wooden banisters. My father, from what I could tell, seemed to be a simple man. I have been unable to find much about him in this palace. Only a single painting. It wasn't large or glorious as one would expect from a king. Just him. Smiling.

Often times I wond-

"Knock Knock Knock"

After some thought, Celica placed her hands gently on the grand double doors before her. The doors bore the mark of the Duma. The mark contrasts her own. She was considering backing out and forgetting the conversation that she had been dreading to begin. A conversation that promised a nights lament. And she almost did as she returned her hands to her side. That was until, fate appeared and intervened. A fate named Jesse. At first the world felt still and for moment she thought time had froze. There was only silence after the knock. But, then a cog seemed to click and turn as a "Hello?" reached out through the door pulling time forward.

And then, as Jesse pushed the doors open with a playful laugh Alm appeared on the other side smiling behind his desk. At fist she though this would be a good time to escape. To plan out a meeting with him another day - another time. But, no such thing would happen it seemed. Because his smile was for her. And when she looked in his eyes she knew this to be true and when her name softly left his lips she knew it to be confirmed.

But, that didnt stop her from planning her conversation to be had on a later date. Maybe never. She loved him, a pure kind of love that made her forget that she didn't love him. His smile made her smile. His call made her echo his name in return. Yes, she truly loved him even if she didn't really love him.

And these thoughts all faded away as Jesse broke through the moment with a singular harsh "Hey there!".

Celica:

That Jesse. That awful and obtuse Jesse! Oh mother forgive me. But, I am also grateful to him. I feel strangely saved even though I am aware that I may also be dammed.

Alm:

"Hey Jesse? Is there something you wanted? I haven't seen you in a while." and I really had not after he took off with some of the other mercenary's to build a village. I've only received letters. Mostly ones of progress and needed funding. I wonder what he is doing here in person. From what I understand the village is doing well.

"Alm! I need you to come! You are just necessary!" He shouted.

"Come where Jesse?"

"To my village Alm! Its finally finished and the whole place is celebrating! You didn't reply to my letters so I came to invite you myself!"

Letters inviting me? I dont remember reading anything like that... or did I? I mean, I am really behind in my work.

"I see I guess I can-" But before I could agree to go someone else came and demanded my presence. Conrad.

"Alm!" Conrad shouted. "Your needed in the counsel room..." He then stopped after noticing Celica and said, "Hey sis! You bugging Alm today to?" and as he said that I to began to focus on her again. Her hair is pretty today and her eyes are bit brighter today to.

Celica:

Conrad interrupted Jesse's conversation rather quickly. I have never seen my brother so excited. To be honest, I didn't even realize he and Alm were so friendly. I remember in the beginning he would act so shyly around Alm. This new development is pleasant.

"Hello Conrad, how are you today?" I replied.

"Im great! Anyway ALM!"

And then Conrad returned to Alm. That is when I noticed him staring. When he looks at me like that I forget all my worries. I missed him.

"Alm. I missed you."

"Celica." He he said in what I think was whisper because no words left his lips. I believe this is because my brother proceeded to drag Alm away very abruptly. There was a comical stutter released as my brother dragged him away. He looked lost in the way my brother gripped his arm with a strength most forget he possesses. "Hurry Alm, your late." he said.

Jesse, realizing what was happening, began to shout "Hey wait a minute! What about my celebration! Alm! ALM!" After the door slammed shut and silence took the room Jesse sighed and sat on the sofa near the desk before turning to me stating, "Man, he is always so busy nowadays isnt he? I used to get replys for every letter and weekly visits."

I could only nod. Yes. Alm was always busy... in a way I suppose. Truth be told, I rarely see him to and I happen to live here. When I looked to Jesse I noticed him staring at me with a mischievous glimmer to his eyes and I felt myself shrink back abit. "What..." I said.

"Princess or, I mean, your Majesty. It would be a great honer if you were to attend instead of the king."

This took me back. So much so that I physically took a step backward. I have an excuse for this sudden fear, most of it was because I felt the looming presence of an impish idea. One that I most likely did not want to be a part of. That, and his hands were actually looming perilously over my shoulders.

"I dont think.." I began before he interrupted with, "And my queen, because of the sudden events I witnessed I now realize the custom of this Kingdom is just to drag royalty where you want." His hands then tightened on my shoulders and a strange uneasiness began to bud as he continued with, "and so I will."

And with one more little smirk on his damned face we were off with a sputter of my own confusion and a laugh from him. No one in the kingdom seemed to care.

Music for mood: Howl's Moving Castle - Merry Go Round of Life

Celica:

It had only taken a few hours by horse to get to this village. It is from what I could tell at that moment, a very loud village. There was shouting and music, laughing and singing. In way, I guess, it made me feel better. That was until a simple scratchy and confused sounding "Lass?" was spoken in my direction.

I felt many things when I turned to that red headed man. That scraggly bearded man. He seemed so shocked. I was to. I hadn't seen this man since the day of our victory. He just left without a word of goodbye. But, to be fare, I had not thought much of him either. Still, looking at him now I feel so many things. Two emotions won out through all the others as they slipped out of a recess deep in my heart. The first was an uncontrollable anger. I cant imagine why I feel this way but I do. And so I acted on it by stomping on his foot, This made him lean down a bit allowing me to reach his face. So I slapped it as hard as I could.

The slap rang out so loud that it seemed to make the music around us disappear. He appeared to be unable to respond. Blankly staring at the ground seeming to attempt to get some odd thoughts together. But, as his eyes angerly turned toward me, I felt the second emotion. Joy. It was a relief. A breath fresh air. And when I ran to him it silenced whatever complaint he had as I held him like a child holding her father. I think I missed him. Looking up at his confused face and his forced smirk I felt my lips stretch further into a deep and brighter smile and said the only thing that I could think of

"Saber."