"Bedtime Story"

Rated T

Disclaimer: I don't own anything associated with That 70's Show, including its characters. Namely Red Forman and Fez themselves.

It was such a quiet evening in the Forman household.

Frankly, it was all dark and silence since everyone around the neighborhood turned in for the night. Nothing out of the ordinary went on to be exact. There were no screw-ups from a certain idiotic pretty boy, and there wasn't any form of marijuana smoke coming from Eric's friend Hyde. It was perhaps a quiet and peaceful night.

Especially when you're Red and Kitty Forman. A hardass like Red only wished to have an ounce of peace and solitude just for one day. And all without someone having to kill themselves all because of Kelso's stupid pranks. Especially if they were high from the stash that Steven brought home.

But safe to say, nothing happened. There was no pranks, no smoke, and no fat neighbor annoying Red for hours. It was finally time for Red and Kitty to enjoy their nap for the night.

Not one sound or screech could interrupt their sweet sleep together.

All except for one man.

*knock knock*

That single knock disrupted Red's sleep. So in efforts, he decided to pull a pillow over his head so that he would make his sleep much quieter. But then...

*KNOCK KNOCK!*

The knocking got much louder, as if it sounded so much like a buzzing bee. The sound of knocking was hurting Red's ears.

"Whatever it is, go away!" Red shouted at the door.

"Red, please answer it. I don't like that sound much as you do, but somebody's gotta answer it." Kitty muttered at her husband.

"Okay, fine," Red said to her before shouting at the door, "It's open, dumbass!"

By the sound of Red's voice, Fez had opened up the bedroom door, looking much like a weary zombie. Apparently, he was sleeping over at the Forman household for the night.

"Mr. and Mrs. Forman, I can't sleep!" Fez whined.

"What in the hell do you want us to do about it?" Red raised an eyebrow.

"Can you read me a bedtime story?" Fez replied.

"Are you kidding me?" Red said as if he was out of his mind, "Look Tonto, you're seventeen years old. You're way too old for bedtime stories! Shouldn't you act your own age watching Starsky & Hutch and playing Pong with my dumbass son?"

His demands weren't getting Fez everywhere. In response, Fez wen't down on his knees and begged.

"Please read me a bedtime story, Mr. Forman," Fez whined again. "Back in my old country, my family would never read me bedtime stories. To put me to sleep, they would make me drink fermented coffee made from tea leaves, slugs and cow butt. It doesn't taste good, Mr. Forman."

"Yeah, well that sucks, foreigner." Red muttered, going back to sleep.

But Fez wouldn't give up the fight just yet.

Just to make him break, Fez approached Red's ear and spoke to him in a softly way.

"PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE?"

Fez's loud voice drove Red crazy. His pleads were nearly driving a stake in Red's brain. In efforts of shutting Fez up, Red took his pillow and buried it over his head. But unfortunately, that made Fez say 'Please' much louder.

The sound pierced through the cotton pillow and blasted Red right in the eardrums. Unfortunately, there was no way Red would win this fight.

"PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE? PLEASE?"

Shaking his body in anger, Red finally gave up.

"OKAY! OKAY!" Red screamed angrily at Fez. "You can have a bedtime story, but you only get one! I suggest you make it count, Tonto!"

"All right!" Fez shouted in victory as he finally left the Forman's bedroom.

Groaning, Red got out of bed and put on his slippers.

"We should put a padlock for our door next time..." Kitty muttered.

"Agreed, Kitty." Red muttered back.

Down at the Forman's living room, Fez was making himself at home with the Forman's couch in which he was sleeping on when Red Forman came downstairs.

Having to get this stupid bedtime story over with, Red sat on the coffee table and faced Fez head-on.

"Okay, foreigner, let's get this over with." Red sighed.

"Make it a good one, Red." Fez smiled.

"Ok, well..." Red sighed once again.

And then, he finally got on with the story.

"Once upon a time," Red rolled his eyes. "There was an old man who lived under a rock."

"Good, Mr. Forman. It flows with the story." Fez nodded again.

"Anyway, this old man was cranky and strict," Red said, clearing his throat. "He wanted things in life that he needed. A bigger house, a beautiful wife, a perfect son and daughter, and tons of money that he can possess."

"That's nice. Keep it going, Red!" Fez exclaimed, feeling a bit excited.

"But apparently, the things he wished for never came to him," Red sighed. "But not all was bad. He did have a beautiful wife, but he didn't get the mansion or money he wanted. He did get a beautiful daughter, but what he also got was a wimpy dumbass son with brown hair and a lanky body. He loved Star Wars, but he couldn't play any sports without having something thrown at him the force of a Mack truck."

"Sucks to be him, huh Red?" Fez chuckled.

"Yeah, whatever..." Red muttered, thinking it was clearly a joke but wasn't. "Anyway, one day, he invited five of his friends over. There was a semi-retarded pretty boy, a frizzy-haired smoker, a gigantic red-head, a little black-haired whiner, and a foreign sex addict. Anyway, they decided to party by making much noise and engaging in hazardous smoke."

"Oooh, plot twist." Fez said, feeling more excited than ever.

"Their hard partying awoke the cranky old man," Red said in a calm expression. "He tried to tell them to shut up, but they only partied louder than before. So he did something about it."

"What happened after that, Mr. Red?" Fez spoke, anticipating what was gonna happen.

"He took his large foot," Red cleared his throat, "And shoved it in their asses, straight to an early grave. The dumbass son, we'll just call him Derek by the way, cried over the dead bodies and ran faraway from home. The cranky old man didn't care one bit as he took his beautiful wife and rode straight into his sunset, forgetting he ever had a wimpy son or an overly-slutty daughter. The end."

By then, Fez suddenly fell right back to sleep. Red couldn't believe his story actually put Fez to sleep just like that.

"Well, that finally put an end to things," Red smiled to himself, "At least he'll finally shut the hell up."

With that, Red finally got back upstairs to sleep for the night.

After Red left, Fez opened his eyes and relaxed, letting his thoughts run dry.

"Ahhh, that was the best story ever," Fez thought to himself. "I should tell Eric about this. I'm certain that he'd love it..."

I'm certain Red knows what he's exactly talking about. *coughs* Eric. *cough cough*

Anyway, what did the rest of you think? Let me know okay? See ya!