Get a Clue
These good fellows don't belong to me but I promise when I'm done to pick um up, dust um off and with a kiss on the cheek return them safely home.
"Murder most foul, as in the best it is, But this most foul, strange, and unnatural." William Shakespeare.
Dwyer comes into the station. Someone had called him.
"Psst…"
He looks around.
"Psst… over here."
He moves around towards the dorm.
"What do you want?" Dwyer said.
"We need your help."
"Doing what." It was ok to be curious.
"We need help killing Johnny tonight."
"WHAT?"
"Yea, will you help?"
"What's in it for me?"
"I got something good for ya. It'll be worth your while. I promise."
"Ok fine." Dwyer shrugged. Sounded like fun. "What time?"
"Show up around 7. We should have everything ready." He paused. "You won't be squeamish about it will ya?"
"Of course not. Bout time someone knocked him off."
Knock, knock.
"Hey, what are you doing here?"
"Tonight's the night."
She stepped onto the back porch looking around. "Tonight?"
"You gonna be ready?"
"Honey, I'm always ready." She laughed.
Man, he loved that laugh. He grabbed her and kissed her hard.
"Are you sure you can do this? I mean its Johnny we're talking about."
"Just watch me."
"I'll pick you up at 6:30"
"I'll be ready lover boy."
God, she drove him nuts.
John Roderick Gage is dead.
That's right, he's dead.
Gone.
Dearly departed.
Murdered right in his own station house.
A cold stiff.
Lifeless.
"Oh good lord we know he's all dead can we just move on with it?" Hank barked.
They all sat around the table at Hank's house. Mike, Marco, Chet, Roy and Hank.
The inspector was a tall lean man who paced the floor. It was driving them all nuts.
"It's my job to figure out who did it." He glared at the men. One by one.
"One of you is a cold blooded murderer and I'm going to find out whom."
"Yea, yea. So he's dead. Who cares?" Marco said nonchalantly.
"I care!" she pranced into the room wearing high heels and a short sexy skirt.
"Joanne, what are you doing here?" Roy demanded to know.
"Roy, you knew Johnny and I were lovers."
Roy looked like he wanted to leap across the table to kill her with his bare hands.
Hank, Mike and Marco gasped, "WHAT?"
"That's right fellows. Lovers." She smiled.
The inspector watched what was going on. "DeSoto you knew they were lovers?"
Roy looked defiant, "Of course I knew it."
"Then you had a reason to kill him." It wasn't a question.
"I had a reason to do it but I didn't. Why don't you ask HIM!" He pointed to Chet.
Chet jumped up, "How dare you."
Roy didn't back down, "You did it didn't you Chet."
"Why would I kill my pigeon?"
"Because, that last joke backfired on you. Johnny turned the cannon around and got you instead. I saw the fury in your eyes."
Turning to Chet the inspector pointed to him, "Maybe you were angry enough to commit murder."
Chet looked shocked, "NO!"
Joanne spoke up again, "If you want a suspect then ask him! He had every reason to do it. He despised Johnny for more than one reason."
She pointed to Marco.
Marco jumped up and started ranting Spanish at her.
"Whoa there amigo. English please." The inspector said.
"I didn't kill Johnny. He was like a brother to me!"
"Brother my foot," Mike jumped in. "You were always jealous of how your mother preferred Johnny over you."
This was getting more and more confusing for the inspector. Which one did it?
A man was dead and he had to find the murderer.
Marco was outraged. "You leave my mother out of this. She was nice to Johnny that's all."
"Maybe too nice huh Marco? More than you could take?" The inspector pressed.
"I could take it." He sat down calmly, "Didn't bother me any. Maybe you should ask the real culprit here."
Marco stared at Mike.
"What are you talking about?" Mike was annoyed.
"You knew that Johnny took the test and was trying to get your job. You would kill him over that precious red engine of yours wouldn't you?"
Mike just smiled. Yes, his engine. "I had no reason to kill him. He failed the test."
"How do you know that?" The inspector asked. "Are those results private?"
Mike pointed to Hank, "He told me. Told me right off the bat. He was glad Johnny failed."
"I was not. I just knew you would be happy is all," Hank said.
"Why would you tell Stoker the test results Stanley?" The inspector asked.
He was quiet.
"Stanley! Answer me."
Hank was sweating.
Joanne was shocked, "Oh my god, you did it didn't you?" She could read him like a book.
Did the inspector have his man?
"I didn't do it. I swear." He pleaded with them.
"Captain, what's on your shirt?" The inspector asked.
Roy stood up, "It's gel." He couldn't believe it. "Cap, you did it?"
"NO!" Hank was standing now.
"Then why do you have gel on you?"
"I spilt it this morning doing my hair!"
The inspector stepped forward, "Did you do you hair on the couch? HMMM?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I found gel on the couch this morning."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA…..
"It was the Captain in the day room with the defibulator." The inspector said.
"Damn! How did you get it so quick?"
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH………
"FINALLY!" Johnny stepped out of the bedroom. "Next time Marco can be dead! 'Who Cares?' Marco, I'm hurt. Besides, it's no fun being the dead guy."