Hey guys, before you continues reading this, I just wanted to let you guys know that this was not written by me. But instead, it was written by my buddy and classmate, Jeu. Jeu, if you're reading this, thanks again for letting me share this amazing one-shot of yours :D
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. Also, before anyone reports me, this was copied from me and my classmate, Jeu's, blog. Soldier-withthe-wingsoffreedom . tumblr . com.
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The corporal sat behind his study, motionless, alone in the gloomy and cold room, wincing back at what her father told him earlier about a letter on the way back from the harshness in Wall Maria.
"Levi-Heichou! Before I meet her, I want to talk to you. She sent me this letter. She mentioned that you respected her abilities enough to let her join your squad. That she was going to devote herself to you. Well, I guess she's too starry-eyes to consider how her father feels. Well, as her father, I think it's too early for her to marry. She's still too young, with so much to experience."
Devote.
Too young. So much to experience.
Those words echoed in his thoughts.
Petra.
The whole squad.
As if in a flash, everything fell apart. He saw their corpses, tainted with blood and filth, If only he thought about this sooner. A choice he would not regret.
"You will be on your own for a while. Protect Eren at all costs, even if it means your life."
Did he left them to fend for themselves because he as terrified? Terrified of the unknown outcomings?
Did the corporal, Humanity's Strongest, turn back because of his weaknesses?
No one knows but only him and him alone. But it is the truth. The uncertainty was present.
Going back to every decision he's made in the past, there was no single time he turned back from them, even in hopeless situations. There was always a way out.
Was.
Now, he wasn't sure anymore.
Never did such a repeated life event leave a huge impact on him. He witnessed countless deaths on the battlefield and comforted those who were hanging on the edge, up to their last breath of words, no matter how filthy and soiled they looked. Levi was ready to give away his morals and beliefs. He didn't care anymore if his hands or every part of his body got tainted. What matters is that his presence is there, headstrong, facing forward in times of strife.
So why does this have to be different?
He can't look at her father with the same head-on expression he had.
Was there something missing? If so,
What was it?
What was this sole thing that made him feel so disoriented inside?
Is this regret? Regret that he wasn't there for his squad? Regret that he made them rely on their abilities too much? Regret that he left them to fend for themselves simply to refuel? Regret that neither he nor his comrades said their farewells?
The pain.
Agony.
Misery.
Sadness
Being alone, broken and shattered like fragile glass.
All of those emotions that he keeps in his heart.
Were his feelings finally trying to break out of its prison, trying to overshadow his delicate form?
Breaking down inside. Devouring the last of him. Hanging between the lines of his sanity. Finding a way to escape.
Where did he go wrong? When did he, Lance Corporal Levi, make a mistake?
The raven haired man murmured to himself, tears trickling from his eyes. "I'm sorry…" he repeated, over and over, blaming and pitying himself over the deaths of his comrades. He weeped silently, running his fingers through his raven locks as he desperately tried to stop the warm tears from falling. He was confused.
Confused over what he felt.
The warmth faded. His light on life vanished. Now, he was left in the dark, guilt continued to swallow him while he held onto his sanity because of those hideous, disgusting beings. The Titans.
He ran, in the last of his thoughts. He ran. Trying to find someone to save him.
The once unyielding corporal fell.
If only…
He could reach out to them and see them smile, bringing warmth to his heart.
If only…
He could hear them again.
If only…
He was there and hadn't left.
If only…
It didn't have to end so soon.
If only…
He saw them, even in their last moments in life.
He would not regret this later. He can face this without his dignity being stripped off of him. He could have done more with them, even going as far as to venture outside the walls when the world is free of danger.
But it was too soon…
In one fell swoop, all had disappeared, destroyed, shattered into shards. All was taken away too fast, too quickly.
This world is truly full of filthy, cruel and unnecessary beings.