What I Can't Have

Dimitri Belikov. Of all the people they could possibly send, they sent him. I could feel Adrian's heart breaking a second time from where I stood beside him. I gave myself a moment to look over at Adrian. His face was in a hard mask, determined to show no emotion. I frowned and bit my lip. A part of me that trusted and liked Adrian wanted to reach over and hold his hand the way he held mine when we were attacked by the Strigoi. I wanted to show him that he wasn't alone. But a larger part, the part that was a loyal Alchemist who still believed he was an evil creature of the night, made me hold back. I shut my eyes, letting the moment end, and turned back to Dimitri. "Hello Guardian Belikov," I said politely and bowing my head a bit.

"Dimitri," he corrected with a small smile. I kept myself from glaring. That same part that liked Adrian wanted to resent Dimitri for coming back and ruining Adrian's progress – and shattering the heart that had almost been put back together. But, once again, the larger, Alchemist part made me treat him like I always had, with respect. I groaned inwardly at the power the Alchemist in me had. I shut my eyes again, trying to force the pain in my left temple away. I brought my left hand up and rubbed my temple trying to soothe the sharp pain. I opened my eyes to see Abe smirking at me, the sight made the pain intensify.

I averted my gaze down to the floor and kept in my groan. I was barely aware my fingers had curled into fists on either side of my body until Abe spoke. "Please, Sydney, do try to be a little more welcoming," his words were spoken in a cool manner; it made my blood boil.

I looked up at him, forcing myself not to glare. I put on a tight smile that looked a lot more like a grimace, "Of course, I just feel a headache coming on."

I heard Adrian scoff. "I think I do too," he said with his eyes narrowed at Dimitri who either hadn't noticed it or was ignoring it. "I think I'm going to go get drunk."

I frowned. "Adrian," I said. I winced at the desperation in my voice. Abe raised his eyebrows as his smirk widened. Adrian turned to me, his green eyes showing pain that made me resent Dimitri a bit for causing it. He gave a shrug and turned again. "What about Jill?" I asked his back as a last resort. My mind whispered what about me?

He stopped for a moment, his shoulders sagging in defeat. "Tell her I'm sorry," he said without turning back.

I groaned as I watched his retreating figure. In the back of my mind I thought he was weak but I couldn't think of him as weak, not after what we went through merely a week ago. I ran a hand through my hair and turned back to the group. "How about I take Angeline to the school, introduce her to everybody, and come back…later?" I said frowning, desperately trying to get out of the room. Or maybe I was trying to get to Jill, talk to her before Adrian gets to a bottle.

Abe opened his mouth, about to say no for sure, when Dimitri interrupted, "Of course, the sooner Angeline and Jill get acquainted the better." I gave him a few points, nodding my head to show my gratitude before going to the door and gesturing for Angeline to come. She looked around the room, confused about what was going on before nodding and following me out the door and to the car.

I had no idea how Adrian was getting himself to the bar or where ever he was going and didn't really care as long as it stalled his drinking. The ride was silent, neither Angeline nor I wanting to say anything. It wasn't long until we were heading toward the dorm Angeline would be sharing with Jill. "Jill's nice, you'll like her," I told Angeline with a small, fake smile. She nodded like a Guardian would have – unless that Guardian was Rose – and continued on beside me without a word. "You know, now that we're here, you can act like a normal kid. It'll help you blend in, make friends, become friends with Jill, pretend you're at school."

She offered me a smile. "I am at school," she told me, raising an eyebrow.

I forced a small chuckle and smiled. "Well, yes, just act like it okay? Be social," I told her, putting an encouraging hand on her shoulder. It was easier to touch her. She was a Dhampir and reminded me a lot of Rose which put me a bit at ease. I quickly put my hand back to my side once we stepped into the hallway though. Touching her when we were in such an empty space was a little harder.

We quickly came to the dorm where I knocked lightly before stepping inside. I had already moved my things into a new dorm that I shared with a girl named Brooklyn. I hadn't noticed the irony that both our names were cities until Adrian pointed it out after I moved into the new room. I had laughed at the time but when I thought of it inside the doorway of Jill's room I only gave a faint smile.

Jill was sitting on her bed with a book in front of her when we entered. When she saw us she smiled brightly and closed the book. "I, uh, heard my new roommate showed up," she said softly, "I didn't know you would be coming so soon."

I frowned. "I'm sorry about Adrian, Jill. I tried," I bit my lip and sat down on the foot of her bed.

She smiled, "It's okay, Sydney, I know you did. Are you okay?"

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?"

Jill shrugged. "I just thought that you and Adrian had…been getting along?"

I looked down and shrugged. "Yeah, we've been getting along," I said, "but I don't have very much influence over him."

I could just barely make out the, 'you have more than you think,' Jill murmured.

Hello (:

So, this is my first fanfic and I hope you guys like it! 8D I would love it if you reviewed; and please, criticize me! Tell me that so-and-so is a bit OOC or that this part when this and this happened was poorly written. All I ask is that you put more than 'This sucks'. Tell me what sucks and I'll try my best to fix it (:

Also, look forward to a bit Eddie/Jill! I find them super cute xD

Disclaimer: Despite all my letters to Santa, I don't own Vampire Academy/Bloodlines or any of the characters. As of right now all I own is this certain plot and Brooklyn who will make an appearance in future chapters!