Distance
Chapter 1: This is just the start
Brittany's POV
I have been dreading this day for the last few months, internally praying that it would never come but unfortunately it has come and the reality of it has hit me like a ton of bricks. "So this is it?" I say to my best friend Santana, who nods. "This is the last time I am going to see you for… however long, I don't know."
"I'm sorry Britt" Santana tells me. This has got to be the worst moment of my life; my best friend is leaving Ohio to go to California where her dad has a new job. Devastation doesn't even begin to describe how I feel right now, I am absolutely gutted. "I promise I will come to visit and we can still text or email, we can even skype as well" Santana says. "Britt I promise this is not the last you will hear of me, you are stuck with me for life."
"Santana let's go" Carlos; Santana's dad shouts.
"I'm coming" Santana snaps at her father before turning to me. "I love you so much Britt, always and forever."
"I love you too" I respond wrapping Santana in a hug, squeezing her so tight. I really wish this was a nightmare so I can just wake up and spend as much time as I want with the girl I love. I'm not sure if Santana knows it or not but she is more than my best friend, she's literally everything to me or so I think anyway, my mom thinks it's just some high school crush because I spend so much time with Santana but in my opinion its more than that.
"That's enough Santana, we have to get going" Carlos states annoyed.
"I will phone you tonight babe, I promise" Santana says before pecking me on the lips and then getting into her dad's car and I watch the vehicle drive off, taking the only person I love with it.
"You will get over it sweetheart" my mom says. I'm sure she didn't mean it as harshly as it sounded. "There's plenty of ways to communicate with people these days, there's tweeter and slide."
"Twitter and skype you mean" I say before walking inside my house and going upstairs to my bedroom. The best thing for me right now is to be alone, it doesn't hurt any less though when I look out my bedroom window and see Santana's house next door. We grew so close over the years but now that's all been taken away from me, instead of looking out of my bedroom window and seeing Santana cleaning her car outside in a bikini like she done frequently all I see is a 'for lease' sign on her front lawn.
I lay in my bed for the rest of the day, refusing to get up for anything unless I need the toilet. I just wish I could rid myself of this feeling but I can't, how am I supposed to prevent myself from feeling hurt when there is a high chance I am never going to see the person I am in love with again. I have been kidding myself for months, actually make that years that Santana and I are purely just best friends. I wouldn't say I am a lesbian or anything because I have dated guys but I definitely do have an attraction to Santana that shoots off the top of the friend scale. We've kissed and said I love you a lot of times but we've never really discussed what the kisses mean and whether we love one another as more than a friend. For all I know Santana could be telling me that she loves me in the same way she loves her dad but on the other hand she may love me the way I love her. The latter though just makes my heart race.
"Cheer up Brittany" Kurt says.
"I know I am not very sociable today but I am just not in the mood for school today" I admit. "I tried to take the day off but my mom wouldn't let me, she practically forced me to come here."
"Honey we all miss Santana and it is understandable that you probably miss her the most but coming to school will stop you from lying in bed at home wallowing in sadness" Mercedes tells me. "School will help to take your mind off of Santana leaving."
"Yeah but it could also just remind her even more of Santana since they spent a lot of their time together at school" Finn says.
"That helps a lot Finn, thanks for that" Puck says sarcastically before turning to me. "Look Brittany, I don't think it was any secret that you were a little into Santana so what I think you need to do is just get drunk and have some meaningless sex, let all your frustration out and blow off some steam." I frown at Puck. "Not with me though because I have plans with another chick but I am sure there is someone out there who is up for it, you're a hot chick so just find someone as equally as hot and fuck them."
"That advice is worse than Finn's dude" Sam says. "It will take time for the sadness to fade away Brittany but the worst thing you can do is suffocate yourself in sadness, how about we all go out bowling tonight. The whole glee gang, what do you say?"
"I don't think I would be much fun" I say sadly.
"We just want to cheer you up" Mike says. "Give it a try, we are all missing Santana in some way or another so if we all stick together then we can get through it together."
"Maybe, it has been a while since I last kicked your butts at bowling" I say smiling slightly.
"That's the spirit" Artie says.
After school finishes I get a ride home with Quinn so I can get ready to meet the rest of the gang at the bowling alley. "Hey mom, I don't need dinner tonight" I say when I walk through the front door.
"Why not sweetheart?" my mom asks as she walks into the hallway from the kitchen.
"I am going out bowling with my friends so we were all going to grab a burger when we finish" I answer as I take my jacket and shoes off, placing them in the hall closet.
"Ok sweetheart" my mom says. "Make sure that you go to a restaurant that sells quality meat from a trusted source, I don't want you buying any of that rubbish that will make you ill." I sigh deeply before looking at my mom.
"We will probably just go to the diner across from the bowling" I say, watching as my mom nods satisfied. "I am going to grab a quick shower and then I will leave here at around 5pm."
"No problem sweetheart" my mom smiles before going back into the kitchen and I head for my shower.
When I get out of the shower I pick some clothes out of my closet before my phone rings indicating I have a text so I open the locked screen.
*incoming text from Santana* is what I see displayed in front of my cell phone background with a picture of Santana and I when we were a little younger.
Hey Britt, what you up to? Did you get my text last night? I didn't want to phone so late so I texted you S xx
I read the text and smile slightly.
Hi, I am not doing much, just preparing to go out bowling with the gang. I got your text late so I didn't want to reply in case you were asleep and I woke you up. Xx
I get dressed and put some light makeup on before my phone rings again.
Sorry if I am keeping you from getting ready S xx
I immediately reply back. You're not. How's sunny California treating you?
It's ok, actually it is pretty great but it is missing one thing which would make it awesome Sxx Santana replies before another text comes through. Everything pretty much sucks when you're missing from it. Britt I miss you like crazy Sxx
As soon as I read the text my heart aches, I miss Santana so much too but she had to leave. As much as I hate being apart from her I know her dad wouldn't make her leave if he didn't need to. Carlos has been a single parent to Santana since her mother suddenly passed when she was younger and all he has ever done is try to give Santana and himself a good life, he had to take this new job because it would provide him with more money and benefits so that Santana could have the future he always wanted her to have. I only know that because I heard Carlos tell my dad one night when they were both taking the garbage out.
I miss you too Santana xx I don't want to say much more because I don't want this to make me even more sad than I already am.
Unfortunately I need to go Britt but will you Skype me tomorrow? I really want to see you live in person instead of in a photograph. S xx
I smile before typing out a reply. We can skype. Take care, I love you xx
I love you too baby B. sweet dreams, S xx.
"Who is ready to get their butts kicked?" Artie asks.
"You?" I say cheekily but playfully.
"Very funny" Artie replies. "So who's teaming up with who since there are too many of us to play singly?"
"Since Santana and I are the reigning champs then I suggest I get the first pick" I say.
"Fair enough but you do realise that Santana was the best out of all of us so she was really just carrying you the whole time" Puck says. "Without Santana you play like crap so I am not too fussed who you pick."
"I pick Mike" I say, ignoring Puck's comment.
"He was my pick" Tina huffs.
"Sorry but Brittany got the first call" Mike says to his twin sister, secretly I think Mike is pleased that he doesn't need to be on Tina's team because no offence but she really is crap.
"Lucky escape Mike" Puck says. "Some of us really aren't much good at bowling but your sister is definitely the definition of a crap player."
"For that cheek Puck, you can be my partner" Tina says scowling.
"Aw what?" Puck says disappointed causing us all to laugh at him. It didn't take Puck too long to get over his disappointment as he and Tina slowly take a short lead which seemed to surprise all of us.
"It is your shot Britt" Mike says.
"Oh right… sorry" I say after momentarily getting lost in a picture of Santana on my phone.
"You just need to hit a strike here and we will have overtook Tina and Puck" Mike says to me.
"No pressure then Chang" I say before taking my shot.
"Spare… ha you only got a spare" Puck says to me.
"Back off Puck, Britt and I still have plenty of time to whip your asses" Mike says. Tina takes her shot next and ends up getting a strike.
"Yee ha babe" Puck says lifting Tina in the air.
"There is still plenty of time left for you guys to come last" Rachel states. As each round progresses everyone seems to becoming even more competitive which is actually quite amusing since most of them never get competitive with sports.
"Watch that left hand Noah" Mike says sternly. "My sister is not someone who I want you touching, especially not on the ass."
"Chill out Mike" Tina tells her brother. "His hand only grazed my ass when he let go of me after lifting me in the air."
"Grazing better be all it was" Mike says.
Despite Mike occasionally losing concentration when he kept glancing at his sister and Puck, we still managed to win.
"Hard luck guys" Mike says smugly.
"Oh fuck off Mike" Rachel says in a huff.
"Check out Berry getting stroppy" Sam says laughing. "I don't think I had ever heard her swear before tonight."
"Can we just go eat now?" Finn asks as his stomach rumbles.
"Yes" Rachel tells her boyfriend.
"Good" Finn replies.
After dinner I race upstairs because Santana texted me saying we can Skype at 7pm so I want to get everything set up so as when she signs on I will be ready.
Santana: Hey beautiful, how are you?
Brittany: I'm good, you?
Santana: All the better that I am seeing you
Brittany: me too
It feels amazing to finally see Santana face to face even if it is through a computer screen.
Santana: Did you have a good evening last night?
Brittany: Yeah it was ok. Mike and I won the team bowling, we actually bet the record you and I set together the last time.
Santana: did you indeed? You remember and tell boy Chang that no matter what, I'm still number one in your eyes. I'm still your best friend and awesome ten pin bowling partner even if I am not there.
Brittany: I know, no one will ever be able to replace you… So how was your day?
Santana: Ok but the new school sucks. I've met a few people who seem like friend material and I have joined the cheerleading team also but it's not McKinley, it's not the school that educates my best friend.
I decide to change the subject because the more I think about how much I miss Santana and how much she misses me the more I want to curl up in bed and cry.
Brittany: How's your dad?
Santana: I don't know to be honest, I've been refusing to engage in a conversation with him since we got here. If he wants to rip my life apart and take me away from you and all my friends then he is going to have to endure the silent treatment.
Brittany: You shouldn't be mad at him San, he is only doing what is best for you honey.
Santana: What is best for me is to be back home where my friends are, more importantly where you are. I don't want to do this Brittany, I've been here for three days and two nights but all I feel is homesick. Do you know the last two nights I have cried myself to sleep and that isn't me babe, you know I don't get emotional easily.
Brittany: You will get used to it and soon you will forget why you ever liked living here in the first place.
Santana: I need a Brittany hug… like so badly.
I try my hardest not to get emotional at Santana's sad demeanour but I can't help it, we've been around each other for years so when she feels something then I do too. That unfortunately means that when Santana's sad then I am sad.
Brittany: I want a hug from you too
Santana: I was hoping to get back to see you one weekend since our next school holiday is Christmas but my dad said we can't go back for a trip until I am settled in school and I don't have much homework to do.
Brittany: At least you will be home for Christmas though, even if it is three months away.
Santana: yeah… so do you a fancy a tour of my bedroom. I can turn my laptop around a bit so the webcam can scan the room and you can get a look.
Brittany: sure but I have a feeling your bedroom is probably the same as the one you had here.
Santana: it is a little similar but it is also a lot smaller but I do have a balcony.
Brittany: I got to see this.
Santana lifts the laptop in the air and walks around the room pointing out lots of different things to me from the couple of pictures on the wall to the dirty laundry strewn all over the floor. She also shows me her balcony and bedroom furniture and her bed. I know it seems a little weird to tell me every boring little detail but when it comes to Santana and me we don't hide anything from each other.
Santana: What do you think babe?
Brittany: it seems ok, I really like the balcony. You could totally sit out there all night doing your studying.
Santana: Yeah… is that your brother peeking in the door.
Santana points at the camera so I look behind me and spot Tommy standing in the doorway. "Hey buddy, what are you doing up so late?" I ask the eight year old boy who should be in bed by now.
"I wanted you to read me a story but then I saw Sanny on your laptop" Tommy answers. "Is that her right now or a video?" he points to the screen.
"That's her just now, wanna say hi" I ask causing tommy to sprint over towards me.
Tommy: Hi S
Tommy then waves rapidly at the screen.
Tommy: When are you going to take me swimming again?
Santana: I don't know Buddy.
Tommy: I miss you.
Santana: I miss you too Tom Tom.
After twenty minutes I tell Tommy to say goodnight to Santana so that I can spend some time alone with her. Once he leaves Santana and I chat away for another couple of hours before Carlos tells us to stop since we both have school in the morning.
Santana: I better go, love you baby B.
Brittany: Love you too.
With our parting words and a few kisses blown across the screen to one another we both sign off of Skype. It was good to see Santana rather than just texting or phoning but actually seeing her makes me miss her ten times harder than when we don't see one another face to face. I could definitely tell that she looked pretty dejected, she didn't even make any of her lame jokes or flirt with me like she usually does but I suppose I didn't do any of that stuff either.
"Santana texted me this morning" Quinn says as we all sit and eat lunch.
"We were on Skype for a while last night" I say sadly while pushing my pasta around my plate.
"How about we go out tonight Britt?" Sam suggests to me. "We could go to Breadstix for some dinner." I don't want to appear rude or anything but Thursday nights were when Santana and I would go out for dinner to Breadstix so going to the same restaurant on the same day of the week would feel like I am betraying Santana.
"I'm not sure Sam" I say politely. I know he means well but I think it will just take time for me to adjust to this change so I don't really want to hang out too much with my friends until I am feeling better. "Bowling was fun the other night guys but I think I just want to spend some time at home alone until I am feeling more sociable" I say. "I know it would make more sense to take my mind off Santana by distracting myself with you guys but I am just not feeling it at the moment so I don't want to dampen you guys' spirits."
"Ok" Mercedes says. "If you want to hang out with us then you are welcome."
"Thanks guys" I say.
A/N: Trying out a new idea, let me know if anyone is interested.