((will be deleted and incorporated into main story very soon))

Sleeping Mice and Noises on the Roof

Twas a night of the Yuletide Season and snow was delicately falling down onto the silent Colorado town as the starry night sky twinkled from up above. It was early December and… well, I can't really say that "not a creature was stirring" because a lot of people were still awake. It was less than a month till Christmas and so many adults were up thinking about how they would make their children's Christmas the best that year. 'Tis the season so they say, and I'm pretty sure that even the fucking mice were awake.

Yet more importantly, alongside those rustling mice and busy adults were our two precious boys- laughing and carrying away as they proceeded to walk home from the Winter Party that they had just attended – Eric with his present under his arm as he connected hands with his beloved redhead as they approached his house.

"God we need to get inside, I'm fucking freezing!" Eric quickened his step as he pulled at Kyle's hand, rushing up his slick pavement as they both hurried to the front stoop.

"We're just lucky that it started snowing after the fire died down." Kyle puffed, fidgeting with his own present as he looked down at his hand mesmerizingly, "Lord knows how horrible it would have been if it started snowing while we were still-"

"We're not done by the way." Eric cut off as he opened his front door, whisking Kyle into a tight embrace as he reached down to actually pick him up, "That was just round one, I'm not quite done with you yet Liebchen." He teased as he carried Kyle through the threshold of his house,

The redhead held onto his lover as he scoffed a fake puff of disapproval, "What the fuck do I look like Eric?" he batted at Eric's warming cheek as he brought his face in closer to growl in his ear, "Your fucking wife?" he lowered his head to nip at his lover's jaw line.

Chuckling to himself, Eric rolled his eyes in jest as he approached his couch, "Yet again Kyle, you're foolishly skipping ahead." He chastely kissed Kyle's forehead before setting him down onto the comfy cushions, "And you call me impatient?" he brought his hand up to Kyle's head to toyingly rustle his hair.

Batting Eric's hand out of the way to teasingly scowl up at the larger boy, Kyle puffed an unamused breath of air as he pouted, "I'm not going to be the fucking wife!"

Eric took one look at the redhead's bratty expression and subsequently let out a long and exasperated sigh, "Of course not Kyle." He walked towards his kitchen as he flicked on the light, "You'll just be the nagging, sour, humorless one of the pair." He playfully berated his bitchy Jew lying down in the other room.

"Hmph." Kyle harrumphed, looking away from the kitchen door to discretely gaze at the ring now present on his finger, feeling an uncharacteristic wave of glee overtake him as he childishly muttered, "I now pronounce you husband and husband."

"Kyle you're acting like a girl who just got fucking proposed to at her best friend's wedding." Eric suddenly called out, apparently having heard Kyle's little utterance. Shaking his head in bemusement Eric brought out two glasses from the dish cabinet before teasing, "I mean, what you are going to do now? Mass text all your friends saying 'EEEEK ERIC GAVE ME A RING!'" he intentionally squealed in a high pitch voice before laughing at how funny that would be to hear Kyle actually say that.

"What?" Kyle screwed up his face in amusement before turning himself around on the couch to gaze into the kitchen, "You're not excited?"

"Well they…" Eric looked to his own ring, smiling a faint smile before closing his eyes in a knowing manner, "don't necessarily have to be 'engagement rings'…" he teased as he shot Kyle a loving little smirk as he walked across the entrance of the foyer on his way over to the fridge.

"Oh come on Eric, what else would they be?" Kyle argued as he fidgeted in the couch, reaching over to the blanket to cover himself as he kicked off his shoes.

"Alright fine, they're engagement rings." Eric gave in, feeling a warm rush flood his body as he opened the fridge to gaze at what his mom bought home from the grocery store today, "Go mass text your friends and have your mom start looking at Wedding gowns." He continued to tease while tapping his ringed finger against the handle as he indecisively perused through what he wanted to bring out.

However his statement unknowingly caused Kyle's previous gathered excitement to wan as the redhead reflected on his situation at home. Sinking further into the sofa, Kyle huddled closer to himself as he groaned, "my mother's the last person I'd be telling…"

Looking up over the fridge, Eric's expression turned ghastly as he realized that bringing Kyle's mother into this was probably not the best idea, "Oh, yeah…well," he needed to change the subject and quick, so he looked back into the fridge and called out cheerfully, "What do you want to drink! We have water, juice, soda, and…" Eric's eyes became larger and full of jollity as he focused in on a stately half gallon bottle tucked away in the back, "FUCK YEAH!"

After hearing Eric's exclamation, Kyle's broodiness faded away instantaneously as he looked back to inquire, "What?"

"Mom got the Eggnog!" Eric cheered as he brought it out of the hiding space, almost slamming it onto the counter as he impatiently brought over the two glasses as he laughed enthusiastically, "I love this shit!"

"Ugh…" Kyle face-palmed as he aggravatingly rested his head against the side of the couch, "It's really getting near that time of year isn't it… Water."

"You just came from a Holiday Party Kyle!" Eric combated, delicately pouring Eggnog in his glass before going over to the faucet to pour Kyle his water as he quipped, "Of course it's that time of year!"

Looking back towards the kitchen, Kyle watched as Eric finally came back into the room with the two glasses in his hands, "…what does that stuff taste like anyway?" he reached out to grab his glass of water.

Handing the clear glass over to Kyle, Eric perked his brow in confusion as he questioned in disbelief, "…you've never had Eggnog?"

Giving off a puff of amusement, Kyle shook his head sassily as he berated to his boyfriend standing across from him, "No, why would I have?"

Almost spitting out his precious Eggnog in shock, Eric came to the startling realization that Kyle was in fact a fucking Christmas virgin, "God that's right!" he brought up his sleeve to wipe away at his mouth before exclaiming, "You've never really had your own Christmas before haven't you?" he plopped down next to Kyle as he gazed at him in bewilderment.

Kyle just shrugged his shoulders in a non-phased manner as he responded, "I've gone over Stan's house a couple times during the season."

"That doesn't count." Eric muttered as he downed a heavy gulp of his Holiday poison; setting the glass down onto the table before he continued to spiel, "That wasn't your own Christmas; that was the Marshes' Christmas." Turning around to point at Kyle's confused expression; Eric kept direct eye contact as he punctuated, "You, Kyle Broflovski, have never had your own Christmas, right?"

Backing away from Eric's outstretched finger, Kyle clutched onto his glass of water as nervously scooted away from the larger boy, "No, I haven't… what are you trying to get at?" he pushed Eric away teasingly with his socked foot.

"Oh my god Kyle." Eric exclaimed as he picked up the rogue foot as he boldly leaned in closer to his hunched down lover, "I am totally going to bring you Christmas this year." He narrowed his eyes deviously.

"PSSSSHHHH, dear fuck Eric what do I look like." Kyle teased as he set down his glass before bringing his face up meet with Eric's devilish expression. Carrying his hand up to stroke the larger boy's brown locks, Kyle spoke against Eric's warm lips as he chided, "A third-world-country orphan? I don't need Christmas." He closed his eyes as he leaned in to give his brunette an igniting kiss.

However that lone phrase sent Eric into a frenzy as he hurriedly shoved Kyle away from him while exclaiming, "FUCK THAT!" he yelled into Kyle's bewildered expression, his own eyes flared in absolute astonishment, "EVERYONE NEEDS CHRISTMAS!" he proclaimed, hurriedly getting up off of the couch as he started to pace the room anxiously, "No wonder you act like you have a 39 and a half foot pole jammed up your ass all the time!"

Screwing his face up in offense, Kyle eyed the larger boy incredulously as he puffed angrily, "Excuse me?"

"Kyle you don't understand!" Eric replied, initially not knowing how he should handle this situation as he started to concoct answers and plans in his head, "There's no way you could though," he threw his hands to his sides as he realized that it wasn't his Jew's fault that he was so ignorant about this special time of year. Turning around to wave a lecturing finger at his enraged looking lover, Eric resumed his rant as he announced, "But I can tell you without a doubt that Christmas is BOSS!" he tried to convey his enthusiasm with a sudden shout-

-but was only met with a cold stone expression as his Jew continued to stare up at him with unmoving eyes.

Exhaling disappointingly, Eric tried to think of another way to convince Kyle as he brought up a hand to scratch at his head while gazing at the floor, "It has always been my number one thing EVER." Puffing a reluctant laugh, Eric sheepishly gazed back at his Jew as he admitted, "Like, there was a point in time in my life where I would have heiled Santa before Hitler."

"Oh my god Eric you did not just say that…" Kyle carried his head to his hands as he shook his head in absolute disgust.

"But it's true!" Eric tried to win Kyle back as he rushed to his knees to kneel next to Kyle; taking one of his precious redhead's hands into his own as he preached lovingly, "And now that you're my number one thing ever, I'm going to give you what your parents have been robbing of ever since you were BORN." He clenched onto Kyle's hand even tighter, silently pleading his Jew to give him a chance as he stared him down with his autumn wisps.

Finally looking up exasperatingly, Kyle groggily shifted his eyes over to his overly enthused lover crouched down next to him. Seeing those magnificent eyes of his, Kyle tempered his rage significantly, but still smirked in dissatisfaction as he tried to reason, "That's really unnecessary Eric, I mean, I know your intentions are good but I'm really not interes-"

"FUCK THAT!" Eric suddenly exclaimed as he threw Kyle's hand back at him in exasperation, getting up to stomp away from his reluctant lover as he shouted, "No fiancé of mine is going to go Christmas-less the rest of his life!" he grabbed his mug to storm back into the kitchen to refill it.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Kyle yelled back, already sick of arguing as he signed restlessly, "I thought that me being Jewish wasn't going to be a problem anymore…" he cringed at the end of that sentence as he sat up straight on the couch; glaring into the kitchen as he waited for an answer.

After a couple moments of bustling around the kitchen, Eric finally replied when he was restocked with more of his precious Eggnog, "Kyle it has nothing to do with Religion." He reasoned, entering the room again as he peered down at his inquisitive looking Jew, "I mean, do you think I love Christmas because I have to go to Church every Sunday of Advent? Hell no, it has nothing to do with it!" he sat back down next to Kyle after he took another swig of his drink. Setting his mug back down, Eric glanced over at Kyle as he impatiently listed, "I'm talking about Christmas decorations, Christmas cookies, Christmas Markets, and best of all…" he smirked knowingly, pausing intentionally as he delicately fingered the rim of his cup.

"Hm?" Kyle hummed curiously as he deviously watched Eric play with his mug.

Bringing his Eggnog back up to his lips, Eric's smile brightened up as he finished, "Christmas morning." before gulping another helping of his drink.

Kyle's eyes suddenly widened as he reflected on that particular event. A Christmas morning; everything else Eric listed didn't really matter to him – it was all too commercialized and more than likely overrated… but a Christmas morning? Kyle remembered when he was a kid how much he wanted one… running down the steps to see the whole foyer filled with presents just waiting for him to open. He used to dream about all the different kinds of sweets and toys for him to enjoy for the whole day which practically never ended. God he remembered how jealous he used to get, and how ridiculous it all seemed now… but still, a part of him… really wanted it for his own."You're ridiculous." He combated defensively, closing his eyes to hide his want while sipping his glass of water to ease his nerves.

"Trust me Kyle," Eric spoke out, running his hand up Kyle's leg before patting his Jew's thigh, "you'll be thanking me by New Years." He gripped Kyle's leg longingly as he eyed him suggestively.

"Whatever you say." Kyle replied off-handedly as he placed his glass back onto the table, passively sliding his hand down to place it on top of Eric's.

"Hey. Trust me okay?" Eric begged as he quickly changed his mischievous demeanor, genuine in his actions as he started to soothingly rub Kyle's thigh with his Jew's hand still placed on top of his, "I really want to do this for you! And it's not like I'm not asking for anything in return..." he reasoned, prodding his Jew even further in his desperation to get a positive response.

"Is that so?" Kyle perked up in curiosity, suddenly acting quite naughty himself as he boldly moved Eric's hand closer to his groin.

Feeling a jolt of electricity shoot up from his waist, Eric grinned maliciously as he hastily rolled around to hover on top of his sneaky little redhead as he joked, "Well… I mean, if at any point you want to come and sit on my lap and ask me what you want for Christmas, I'll be sure to give you a complimentary candy cane." He thrusted impatiently.

Kyle shoved Eric off of him in one quick push as he grumbled in annoyance, "I'm going to bed."

"Ay!" Eric cried out in frustration, watching as Kyle started to ascend his stairs as he whined, "Didn't you want to try some Eggnog?"

Down but not out, Kyle quirked a suggestive eyebrow as he glared down at his sprawled out lover still on the couch, "Well… as long as you don't use any more of those stupid-ass Christmas euphemisms," he narrowed his eyes sensually as he hummed; "you can give me your own special blend of Eggnog upstairs."

Flashing his eyes open in excitement, Eric instantly got off the couch as he rushed up to follow his Jew "Look whose using euphemisms now..."

"Come upstairs and I'll suck your dick; how's that?" Kyle sassily called out from the upstairs hallway.

"…I liked the eggnog bit more." Eric grumbled before they both shut themselves inside his bedroom.