Basically I wondered how the scene might be different if Owen had known that Tosh was shot. Like it would still be sad but in a way it was kind of like he wasn't dying alone? I don't know. And then I needed something nice for them.
Cross posted from AO3
...
"Owen…Owen get out of there." Her voice crackled through the earpiece.
"There's a power surge in the system. When that hits it will trigger an emergency lockdown!" Owen stared helplessly at the computers and flashing screens around him
Shit.
The door was beginning to close and he didn't think. He ran. Arms pumping and feet pounding. The door continued shutting. He just had to get there in time.
He didn't.
The door slid into place and locked trapping him and his desperate cries.
"No! No! Tosh. Toshiko I can't get out!" He was shouting as panic filled him. Panic and then anger.
"Not like this. Not like this!" His screams bounced off the walls like the room was screaming back at him.
He stepped away from the door because rage needed movement. He needed to hit things. He needed to break something.
"I'm not done yet!" He remembered dying. He remembered the darkness. He didn't want to go back.
"Get me out of here Tosh. Get me out of here I've died once and I'm not doing it again!" It's true he was already dead but there was still so much he could do. It wasn't fair and he was trapped here. Alone.
"Where's Jack? Where's Gwen, Ianto? God, you wanna watch the dead man die again?" He shouted to the walls and they shouted back. Tosh was there, breathing, alive. But she wasn't in the room with him. He would die alone.
"Owen," She sounded ragged in his ears.
"Just stay calm." No calm was not a thing that was happening.
"Why should I do that? Where's the fun in that?" A small part of him pointed out that this wasn't exactly fun but that was bowled over by the sheer amount of fucking rage. He was dying again. Alone. Too soon. It wasn't fair.
"I'm gonna rage my way to oblivion." He told her and he filled his lungs. Screaming was all he had left. Maybe the room wasn't screaming at him with its echoes and wailing alarms. Maybe it was screaming with him.
"Please don't." Tosh gasped.
"Why not! Why the bloody hell not?" He moved through the room, predatory but without prey, knocking things aside because what the fuck else could he do?
"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't keep screaming!"
"Because you're breaking my heart." Her voice came through strained, she was crying. And then it all stopped. All the screaming and the anger and the bitterness just drained away. He was going to die and leave Tosh. And he was breaking her heart.
He walked forward, a victim of circumstance in an empty room. He rested his head against a panel and slid down the wall.
"I'm sorry," and he meant it.
"It's my fault," she whispered. She sounded broken and he wondered if he had time to fix it.
"No, no, no you can't go there Tosh. I'm really sorry."
There was silence. Nothing but her breathing. Had his words been enough? How much longer did he have?
"What's gonna happen to me, Tosh?
"I can't," She breathed.
"Please," He wouldn't scream and shout but he had to know this. He had to ready himself for it somehow.
"I need to know."
And then another long silence.
"The containment chamber will be flooded with irradiated chemicals."
Shit.
"My body will slowly decompose as I watch." He stated aloud. He had a slow slide towards oblivion to look forward to. A gradual erosion until there was nothing left. How long would it take before his soul left him for the darkness?
"I should have been able to stop it!" Tosh said her voice breaking. And he didn't want to leave Tosh broken.
"Shh, stop it Tosh come on. There's no way you could have anticipated that power spike." And he believed that too. He wasn't summoning up empty words. Tosh could not see the future. She did everything she could and was brilliant as always. It just wasn't enough.
"Owen," he sat up a little. She sounded so sad. So utterly spent.
"Owen...I've been shot."
He jumped to his feet.
"Shit!" the exclamation bounced off the walls that kept him here. Far from where his skills could be put to use. He began pacing the room. Restless and caged.
"How long ago? Where are the others?"
"Maybe ten minutes ago? And I don't know… trapped. Owen its ok," he froze.
"No Tosh, I was already dead but you were supposed to keep going. You were supposed to…" He trailed off lost for words and a tired chuckle was his response.
"Owen it was never going to be as good without you anyway. And we were never going to get a happy ending in Torchwood."
He went back to his spot on the floor and sat down with a thump.
"Maybe…but this is really shit Tosh."
Another chuckle and he couldn't help but smile a little. He sobered quickly.
"How does it feel?"
"It hurts," she murmured and Owen nodded to the empty room.
"I'm sorry Tosh. Just...well I'm here ok?" He stumbled over the words but what else was there?
"Me too." He smiled a little at that. It amounted to what he wished he could say.
The alarms grew louder and the sound of air hissing filled the room. The room had shouted with him. Now it was going to kill him.
"It's starting," he stood up. Was he talking to her, or himself? Or maybe he was talking to the room and the rest was in his head. It didn't matter that much if it was. Fantasies were better than reality.
"Owen," in fantasies if the hero has to die heroically the girl still gets to live. She gets to live and remember him and his noble sacrifice. In his fantasy Tosh would get to live a long and good life with or without him because she deserved so much more happiness than he was ever able to give her. But at least in the final moments he could say something kind. He could give her that.
He was never very good at kind but it was the least he could do for the girl who earned all he had to offer and more.
"It's alright…really Tosh…it's alright." And in that precious moment he believed it too. He was going to die for real this time and it was ok. Maybe Tosh would be with him soon. Maybe he wouldn't be alone in that darkness. Maybe…
He let the sound of her breathing fill his ears. It tried to ignore the beeping siren calls around and tried to only hear her. Still alive for the moment, still here. She wasn't with him in body but in spirit. He wasn't alone. He wasn't.
But it was time to go and he wasn't done yet.
"Oh god," he whispered as the poisoned air filled his lungs and coated his skin. The last thing he heard before earpiece short circuited in his ear was her:
"Owen,"and then he was forced to go the rest of the way alone .
He stood strong and tried to feel brave until he could no longer stand.
He remembered the sound of her breath, the sound of her voice, the sound of her alive. He replayed that over and over until he was unable to think and then he stared at the ceiling until he was unable to see. From there it wasn't much longer before he was free of his shell of a body and the darkness claimed him.
It had only taken a few minutes for Owen Harper to expire and reach oblivion.
He was alone. But the darkness was no longer terrifying. The angry whispers were gone. It was all soft and silence. He knew he had farther to go but he decided to wait.
It wasn't much longer and then she was there.
He wanted to say so much and yet he couldn't say anything at all. He gently touched a hand to her cheek and she nodded.
Let's go on that date, yeah?
He asked it without words.
Her smile was possibly the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He reached down and took her hand. Before looking back at that lovely face.
I think we did good, she said without her voice.
He had to agree that despite everything it had taken. They had most certainly done good. He nodded and smiled back at her.
It wasn't perfect but it was pretty close.
Together they walked to whatever came next and left the darkness behind.
...
And two references...Owen's thoughts of 'It's not fair' is kind of a reference to the tenth doctors emotional breakdown upon realization of HIS death in End of Time.
Also the 'we did good' line is a reference to what Tosh said in her video message to the living Torchwood members. She said 'I hope I did good'
So yeah...thoughts?