Disclaimer: I sadly do not own anything of lord of the rings...so dont sue
me.
"I still can't believe that he's alive!" Krastel said from up in her tree. "You'd think that the crazy little git would have died by now!"
She looked down at her fellow companions whom all where nodding their heads in agreement.
"Well...he didn't get it from my family!" Pippin announced.
"Mine neither!" Merry said.
"We should just kill him." Aragorn said. "I've had it with him and Sam. They're both annoying frickin queers, Besides, I've had enough of their constant suicide acts..." He took his sword out and started cleaning it.
"I wouldn't mind getting rid of them." Legolas said as he took a bite out of some chicken. (hmmmmm...chicken.)
Krastel jumped down from her tree and sat down next to her favorite elf. The day would be perfect if they could just get rid of two more retards.
Boromir died last night by the orcs. The only person who really seemed to care was Aragorn. But he got over it fairly quickly.
Gimli saw his face and died (so says Krastel...they found him lying on his back by the river, his face in a expression of complete horror) Nobody can really be sure, but nobody really cares anyway.
So now the only 2 retards left were Frodo Baggins and Sam Gamgee.
Krastel started to eat some chicken when she popped the question. "Well-" She said with her mouth full of food, "Should we kill them, leader?" Everybody turned to Aragorn who was still cleaning his sword.
"Well..." He said. "All in favor of killing Frodo and Sam raise your hand."
Everybody except Krastel raised their hand. She raised both.
"Ok then, killing Frodo and Sam it is! Who would like to do the honors?"
Krastel raised her hand.
So did Legolas.
"Ok, then be off, but bring back the ring, we still gotta destroy it."
Krastel grabbed her sword, Legolas grabbed his bow and a few arrows. And they both left to where Frodo and Sam were last seen.
ELSEWHERE
------------------
"Mr. Frodo! If you pluck your eye out and eat it, then I'll just pluck my eye out and give it to you!"
It took Frodo a few seconds for this to sink in correctly. "Oh Sam! Thats the swweeeeaaatttteeesssttt thing anybody has ever said to me! I love you!"
Sam broke down crying happily. "Will you marry me Mr. Frodo?"
Frodo crossed his eyes, as he normally does when he thinks (which, might i add, is a very rare occasion)
After a few minutes he finally spoke.
"You meen get married?" He asked as he scratched his head stupidly.
Sam sniffed nodded. Frodo looked at Sam discusted. "NO WAY!"
Sam looked taken aback "but he just said that he--"
Sam didn't get to finish his thoughts because his head was detatched from his body by Krastels sword.
The head rolled off near the river. She walked towards it and heard some voice.
"Mr. Frodo. Mr. Frodo isn't. Mr. Frodo isnt going. Mr. Frodo isn't going anywhere.." Krastel kicked the head into the river.
"Yeah yeah, we've heard it before Sam!"
"Krastel, do you wanna take care of Frodo too?" Krastel turned around to see Legolas aiming his bow at Frodo.
"Nah, you can have him."
Legolas smiled and took care of Frodo, then threw him in the river.
"Krastel?" He said.
"hn?"
"I love you."
Krastel smiled and hugged him, "I love you too!"
He picked her up and they started back to camp.
"And you'll always be my favorite elf."
please, please review ^_^
sorry all u frodo and or sam lovers....but i can't stand them so yeah....
"I still can't believe that he's alive!" Krastel said from up in her tree. "You'd think that the crazy little git would have died by now!"
She looked down at her fellow companions whom all where nodding their heads in agreement.
"Well...he didn't get it from my family!" Pippin announced.
"Mine neither!" Merry said.
"We should just kill him." Aragorn said. "I've had it with him and Sam. They're both annoying frickin queers, Besides, I've had enough of their constant suicide acts..." He took his sword out and started cleaning it.
"I wouldn't mind getting rid of them." Legolas said as he took a bite out of some chicken. (hmmmmm...chicken.)
Krastel jumped down from her tree and sat down next to her favorite elf. The day would be perfect if they could just get rid of two more retards.
Boromir died last night by the orcs. The only person who really seemed to care was Aragorn. But he got over it fairly quickly.
Gimli saw his face and died (so says Krastel...they found him lying on his back by the river, his face in a expression of complete horror) Nobody can really be sure, but nobody really cares anyway.
So now the only 2 retards left were Frodo Baggins and Sam Gamgee.
Krastel started to eat some chicken when she popped the question. "Well-" She said with her mouth full of food, "Should we kill them, leader?" Everybody turned to Aragorn who was still cleaning his sword.
"Well..." He said. "All in favor of killing Frodo and Sam raise your hand."
Everybody except Krastel raised their hand. She raised both.
"Ok then, killing Frodo and Sam it is! Who would like to do the honors?"
Krastel raised her hand.
So did Legolas.
"Ok, then be off, but bring back the ring, we still gotta destroy it."
Krastel grabbed her sword, Legolas grabbed his bow and a few arrows. And they both left to where Frodo and Sam were last seen.
ELSEWHERE
------------------
"Mr. Frodo! If you pluck your eye out and eat it, then I'll just pluck my eye out and give it to you!"
It took Frodo a few seconds for this to sink in correctly. "Oh Sam! Thats the swweeeeaaatttteeesssttt thing anybody has ever said to me! I love you!"
Sam broke down crying happily. "Will you marry me Mr. Frodo?"
Frodo crossed his eyes, as he normally does when he thinks (which, might i add, is a very rare occasion)
After a few minutes he finally spoke.
"You meen get married?" He asked as he scratched his head stupidly.
Sam sniffed nodded. Frodo looked at Sam discusted. "NO WAY!"
Sam looked taken aback "but he just said that he--"
Sam didn't get to finish his thoughts because his head was detatched from his body by Krastels sword.
The head rolled off near the river. She walked towards it and heard some voice.
"Mr. Frodo. Mr. Frodo isn't. Mr. Frodo isnt going. Mr. Frodo isn't going anywhere.." Krastel kicked the head into the river.
"Yeah yeah, we've heard it before Sam!"
"Krastel, do you wanna take care of Frodo too?" Krastel turned around to see Legolas aiming his bow at Frodo.
"Nah, you can have him."
Legolas smiled and took care of Frodo, then threw him in the river.
"Krastel?" He said.
"hn?"
"I love you."
Krastel smiled and hugged him, "I love you too!"
He picked her up and they started back to camp.
"And you'll always be my favorite elf."
please, please review ^_^
sorry all u frodo and or sam lovers....but i can't stand them so yeah....