AN: Ok… so this started out as a Christmas story for Kavi Leighanna's Holiday Prompt Challenge, but it was a little bit late (only three months!) so I turned it into a April Fool's Day story! Now it's a little early… I apparently just can't win! I hope you like it! Enjoy.
Disclaimer: I own nothing! (But I want to ;))
"Agent Rossi, you have mail" the new mail girl said. The young blonde must have smoothed out her charcoal grey sweater that dipped rather low and pulled her black skirt up more before she entered. That was why the last one had gotten fired, he charged her with sexual harassment.
"Thank you Ms…" Rossi started as he shut the case file on his desk closed so she couldn't see the horror. He always made an attempt to at least be polite, even if JJ always accused him of flirting with them. He saw the young girl smile as she blushed.
"Please, you can call me Monica" she answered. Rossi smiled.
"Then thank you Ms. Monica" he replied as he took the envelope from her outstretched hand. The girl looked about ready to faint. He idly wondered how many times girls felt like they were going to faint in his presence. He noticed that she hadn't moved from her spot in front of his desk. "Is there something else I can do for you?"
"Well… I… no. I'm sorry to disturb you sir" Monica said before she flipped her obviously bleached hair and sauntered toward his office door. He shook his head chuckling then opened his file again.
"Oh wait, Monica?" Dave said before she could shut the door completely. The young girl popped immediately back inside his office.
"Yes sir?" she asked eagerly. Dave resisted the urge to laugh.
"Maybe tomorrow you could wear some more appropriate work attire?" he said. Monica blushed fiercely and left to deliver more mail. Dave laughed out loud and was getting ready to actually work on his file when JJ entered.
"You trying to scare off the new mail girl already?" she teased as she sat in one of the chairs in front of his desk.
"No, I just told her to wear something more appropriate to work tomorrow. Why would I scare her away, then I'd have to pick a new replacement!" Dave exclaimed. Jen giggled at his absurd behavior. Dave looked across his desk to see JJ wearing her new knee length, turtleneck, black maternity dress. "How are my girls doing?" Jen rubbed her belly gently.
"We're good daddy. We just came to tell you that she was an active little girl this morning" JJ replied. Dave's eyes lit up. "And we are both ok, I knew you would be freaking out about that" she answered an unasked question.
"That's good. Are you picking up Henry this afternoon, or do you want me to get him?" JJ sat back in her chair. Dave noticed how well the lighting reflected off of her wedding rings. The ruby from her engagement ring added a light red to her glowing skin tone.
"I'll get him. I just came to see what interesting mail you got from the hot new mail girl" JJ said sarcastically.
"Aw… I'm hurt. You didn't just come to see your lovely husband?" Dave fake pouted. JJ glared playfully.
"Absolutely not" JJ replied. Dave choked on the sip of coffee he had just taken. She had sounded so serious that if it wasn't for her large smile, he probably would have questioned it.
"Alright, I get it. You only want to see the letter" he said ominously. JJ giggled and settled into her chair, thoroughly enjoying the time with her husband. Dave reached over and picked up the letter, dramatically reading the front and opening it.
"Would you quit being so damn dramatic? No wonder your other wives left you" JJ replied, half playing, half serious. Dave rolled his eyes and pulled out a Christmas card.
"It says: 'Roses are red, Violets are blue, you love her, but I love you!" Dave said as he read the card. He opened it up to see who had sent it. "And all it says inside is: 'Silently I stare at you; you don't know I'm around. I know where you've been, I know where you are bound. I know where you live, I know where you sleep. You don't even know me, but my love for you runs deep. I see you in my dreams; I want me in yours too. I want you to know and love me, but there is no way to tell you this is how it's going to be. It will, and has never changed. I'll continue to be your stalker, please don't think that I'm deranged. I love you but you'll never know." JJ stared at Rossi blankly.
"That was really creepy" she stated. Dave's eyes were glued to the card. He picked up the envelope and turned it over, searching for any kind of return address so he could track down the wacko who had apparently been stalking him. JJ's mouth quirked up in a smile.
"What's going on babe?" Dave asked curiously, his eyebrows nearly touching his hairline. JJ let out a soft laugh before she doubled over in laughter.
"Don't lie to me! I know you gave it to the girl to pull a prank on me!" JJ said through laughter. Dave's eyebrows rose higher on his forehead.
"I don't know what you're talking about babe. I didn't do this to pull off any sort of prank. This is real" Dave explained as he shook the card for emphasis. JJ's laughter ended abruptly and he face paled.
"So you mean to tell me that this isn't one of your jokes? Someone is really stalking you?" JJ asked timidly. Dave pressed his lips tightly together and nodded. JJ stood up and moved toward the closed door. Dave stood and made eye contact with his wife's baby blue eyes. "Don't worry, I'll figure out who sent this" he promised. JJ let a ghost of a smile touch her lips before it vanished as quickly as it had come. She nodded once and walked into the bullpen.
"What's up JJ?" Emily asked as the young pregnant blonde propped herself on the corner of Emily's desk. JJ looked around before she bent over and whispered.
"He got it." Emily smiled like the Cheshire cat and leaned closer to JJ.
"Now we just have to wait for him to take it to Aaron" she whispered back.
Aaron Hotchner smirked at the knock at his door. He knew who it would be.
"Come in" he called as he quickly schooled his features. A ruffled David Rossi entered the room with a card in his hand. His hair was sticking in many directions, leading Hotch to assume that the older man had been constantly running his hands through it since the new mail girl dropped it off almost twenty minutes ago.
"Aaron, I need to talk to you" Rossi grumbled. Aaron motioned with his hand toward one of the visitor's chairs and watched as his mentor flopped into the seat and put his head in his hands. Aaron fleeting wondered if all the pain this man was going through was really worth it.
"What about?" he replied evenly. Dave glanced up and tossed the card on his desk.
"I got this today" Dave explained as Hotch skimmed over it, already knowing what it said. Emily and Jack had made it a project by cutting out the letters from old magazines to paste on the front while Aaron typed the poem inside. "I'm worried. This unsub seems determined and I don't want Henry, JJ, and the baby in any danger, but I know that if they're in the way, there is a good chance the unsub would hurt them. I couldn't live with myself if they got hurt."
"How do you know that this unsub would hurt them?" Aaron finally decided this needed to end, now. He discretely pulled out his phone and texted JJ.
"I've profiled them Aaron! I know what obsessive people are capable of!" Dave screamed. Aaron sat back in his seat, waiting for JJ to come through the door and save her husband from the nightmare he seems to think his family was in. Only moments later did JJ and Emily walk in with large smiles covering their faces until they saw Dave's face.
"Dave?" JJ called looking between her husband and boss in confusion.
"He isn't taking this well JJ. It needs to end" Aaron replied smoothly. Emily realized what was going on and nodded, backing out of the room as she pulled the door shut.
"What needs to end?" Dave snapped at his old friend. JJ looked at the floor guiltily. She never realized he would give this kind of a reaction.
"Dave, I enlisted Hotch, Jack, and Emily's help to play a trick on you. I thought you would play it off considering what day it is" JJ explained. Dave just looked at her in confusion.
"What do you mean 'what day it is'? What day is it?" he asked. Aaron smirked slightly and motioned for JJ to go on when she looked to him for help.
"Dave, honey, it's April first" she explained. Dave looked past her as he thought about the date.
"It's April Fool's Day" Dave muttered. JJ bit her lip and nodded, afraid of her husband's reaction to her stupid prank. Suddenly David Rossi doubled over in laughter. JJ and Hotch looked at him like he had two heads. "That was a good one! I totally got you!" Dave said in between fits of laughter. JJ and Hotch looked at him opened mouthed.
"How did you…?" JJ started. Dave wiped tears of mirth from his eyes as he tried to regain his breath.
"Next time you want to trick me babe" Dave said as he moved towards the door, "don't enlist the help of a six year old. Jack was too easy to bribe!" Aaron and JJ watched as Dave left for his office.
"I think we just got played" Aaron muttered. He looked out his office window to see Emily staring at him in confusion. He mouthed 'later' and watched her nod before he turned his attention back to the now seething woman.
"Again" she huffed as she stormed out of his office, slamming the door behind her. Aaron shook his head and turned back to his paperwork, vowing never to help his friends prank each other ever again.
AN: I hope you liked it! Please tell me how I did (minus my poor timing skills) via review or PM. I look forward to hearing from you!