Title: Watching
Author: Kameka
Rating: G
Spoilers: None.
Notes: I was sitting around waiting for my sister... and occupying myself with writing. These two ficlets are responses to a pair of challenges. UNBETA'D
Summary: Challenge responses - the challenge was to use 'he watches me' and 'I'm watching you' as opening lines. Yes, I know they're short. But they're something... and I hope you enjoy.
I. He watches me.
He watches me. Not all the time, of course, but at odd moments throughout the day. From across a room, through glass-paned walls... Constant snatches of time that he thinks I'm unaware of... Because I've never let him know that I know.
I can't -- couldn't even if I wanted to. It would be an acknowledgment that I'm not sure I'm ready to make. It'd raise questions with answers that I can't -- I won't -- handle. Not right now. Not with him. I don't even know if he's ready to tell me whatever thoughts are floating around in his head.
Are neither of us prepared for something we both instinctively know will change our lives? Is that why we twirl around one another in an endless dance? We're always so careful not to drift ... whether it's too far apart or too close.
I can't even say exactly how I know he watches me. A tingling starts between my shoulder blades -- an electric current charges my skin, making the fine hairs on my body stand deliciously on end as goosepimples break out. It always starts like that -- and it intensifies the longer he watches me.
The first few times, I turned, looking for whatever had affected it. I wasn't quick enough to catch him completely -- just enough to see him look down, look busy -- usually with a very slight flush blooming under his skin. Embarrassment at being caught? I don't try to look anymore. Try to catch him in the act.
Those telltale signs that creep up on me suddenly -- that short circuit and shorten my breath, that cause my insides to turn liquid... They're enough for me, right now. It's enough to know that he watches me.
Just as I watch him.
End
II. I'm watching you.
I'm watching you. Again. Some days it feels like I do nothing else. I don't know what it is about you -- what draws me to you like a moth to a flame. Your beauty? There are women far more beautiful than you. Then what is it? Your insatiable lust and zest for life? Your humor? That vulnerability that you keep so well-hidden but I can see just below the surface?
I don't know. Perhaps it's any of those -- all of those -- or maybe none. Does it really matter -- the reason I want you? Probably not. I know I do ... and that's enough for me.
You're one of the most open close-mouthed people I know. It drives me insane at times. You never quit talking -- always ready with some story or anecdote to fill the silence. But for all your talking, you reveal little. For you, words are a shield and sword, things to use to defend and attack from anybody getting too close.
That's what started this ... obsession of mine. If anyone truly wants to know you, they need to ignore your words and look at you -- watch your body language and look into your eyes. I want to know you. I'm determined to know you. I have to. Sometimes it seems like my entire future -- my whole life -- is wrapped up in who you are. In what we can be. I'd never admit it to anyone -- never mind out loud -- but that scares me sometimes.
I even know why. Would that surprise you? I think so. It's easy, though. I feel like I'm missing something. I knew almost from the beginning that you would complete me ... and that means that I'm incomplete without you. That's what scares the hell out of me.
So I fulfill my role in your life -- that of friend and confidant -- and we talk and flirt, getting to know each other slowly...
And I watch you -- waiting for the right time to make my move.
End
Reviews are welcome!