I haven't put any sort of fanfiction online for a really long time. I'm way too self-conscious for that, but here's a quick one-shot type thing. My writing is rusty… This is mostly just Hinata reflecting about stuff, so if you're looking for a more active plot, click the back button a read something else, please. To begin with, this is just horrible written. If you're looking for something profound, please, hit the back button also.

Hinata POV

Greens

It was hard not to think about him every once and a while. If I had to put a number on it, I thought about him half the time, but he was always in my mind's eye. I saw his boyish smile everywhere from the empty swing under the old tree to the stone of the Hokage Faces, even though none of them were his. I saw the determined look of his eyes whenever someone would give me a sign of approval or pride. I saw his mess of blond hair instead of Kiba's brown.

Today, I walk by the training field, where he first officially became a ninja. He had stepped so intimately with the grass here—or at least that's how I imagined it. Whenever I pictured him, he was this young, free boy, never willing to give up on anything. My hero would take on every challenge, whether it was reasonable or not, and somehow find a way to succeed. He helped save me from my own self-doubt, and I used his strength to hold me up. I'll never forget the fire in his eyes as he watched me fight my cousin. He took my blood on his hands. He had cared about me then, and I'll never know how much.

As I made my way across the field, I was reminded of that one mission that he couldn't finish, the one mission that mattered to him the most. Those were the times it was hardest to be with him. Not only would I have been useless in comforting him, but seeing him broken… It broke me as well. That was when he started to get closer with Sakura, when I began to lose hope. It was impossible to miss how much he loved her in the same way that I loved him. It wasn't that I had expected to ever gain that romantic affection, or that I didn't know that he had a crush on Sakura, but it was love that I saw in his eyes. I had already known it, but I pretended it wasn't true. I had told myself it was just a rumor started by whoever was immature enough to do it, but when I saw how devoted he was to the promise he made to Sakura, I knew I'd missed my chance. I probably never even had a chance.

He left for two and a half years, and all I knew was that he was training with one of the greatest Konoha ninjas in history. I half expected myself to continue on with my life, to find another purpose, but I had found it a difficult task. Looking back, I never really knew when it was that I fell in love with him. Maybe it was when I first saw him swinging under the tree, lonely in the shadows. I remembered sitting down one day during his absence, looking at that wooden plank and dreaming about what could have happened if he had only looked up on any day of his ownership of that seat. If he had seen me then, would I have taken the place in his heart that Sakura later took? As much as I wished that were true, I knew that he was always destined to love her, and that I was eternally fated to follow the man I could never call mine.

During those two and a half years, I couldn't miss the way Kiba looked at me. I still don't know why I didn't see it sooner, how his eyes lot up at the sound of my voice. Maybe it was because I had been too distracted and too concerned with the other man's impressions of me. When it was just Kiba and me, I noticed how he would respond my every action. He moved for me. I should have been happy. At the very least, I should have been grateful. Instead, I just pretended not to know. I probably hurt him bad. In fact, I know I did, but I didn't want to risk our friendship by addressing any sort of romance that might come between us. Then one day, Kiba said his name, and then I realized that Kiba had probably known the secret that I thought I was hiding so well. It made it harder for me then to just ignore Kiba's affections, so I had tried to return his smiles and waves. I think he had seen through the façade, because afterwards he smiled and waved at me less. For that, I was grateful.

Now, I finally reached the other side of the field. I could no longer hold back the tears that were already forming in my eyes, though I fought with them furiously. My situation seemed so gloomy that it almost called for gray skies and chilly breezes, maybe some precipitation, and yet today it was sunny and warm. It would have been just the type of day that he would have flourished in. The sky was a blue to match his eyes, and the sun golden enough to match his hair and his will. He would have run around and laughed the way he did. I closed my eyes and pictured him next to me, reliving the last real moment I had with him. It was when I told I loved him. It was the hardest thing for me to say, given the situations that were unfolding, but in my own desperation I had to say it. Even in the short amount of time I had the before I was rendered unconscious, I recognized something in his eyes. I hadn't known what it was then, but this morning it came to me. I remembered the memory that I had seen that expression before.

After my fight with Neji, I had passed out. He stood over me, and he was the last thing I saw before everything went black. His face at that moment will be forever ingrained into my mind. There was worry in it, but there was something else that held more warmth than worry. It was deeper, more a part of him that anything else. I saw it again that day during Konoha's destruction. The main emotion on his face that moment was shock. I had always just thought that he was surprised to learn of my feelings for him, and that shock and not some romantic desire took over his expression, but I realize now that familiar warmth was evident as well. Could it have been love? It's too late to ask him, and too late to hold his hand, and to late to tell him I love him just one more time.

I looked down at the monument before me. Naruto Uzumaki was clearly carved into the stone. I let my tears flow freely now, knowing that there was no way I could stop them at this point. I fell to my knees and sobbed into my hands. I always knew he would be remembered. He was great and mighty and strong, and he always put others before himself. Why did he have to be remembered for sacrificing his life? I wanted to scream out my anger towards destiny, but I choked on the release and just collapsed into my own misery. His face deserved the large mass of mountain next to Tsunade's face, yet all he gets is his name written on a tiny block of stone among so many others. It would never seem right.

I closed my eyes again, wiped the tears away, and stood up, opening my eyes to look at the sky. Everything there was, anyone alive today, owed their life to him. I bit my lip, just like my old habit from years ago, and finally a smile touched my lips. He was my inspiration, and death should not change that. I knew what he'd say if he somehow his spirit could communicate with me, and I didn't want to let him down. I turned around and began to walk back the way I came.

This time, the grass seemed greener.