Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Twilight.

Now things you may need to know before starting to read

I decided for Bella to turn 17 instead of 18 though, she is still a senior in high school. Her birthday is in September so she could very well still be a senior. The reasons will later on be explain. So yeah that is about it for now. Thanks for reading

I know the world is out to get me and I should be dead by now but my beautiful knight in shining armor always comes to my rescue. I should have died the day Tyler's van was speeding towards me but Edward saved me. I should have died when James came after me but Edward saved me. He would never admit he was the good guy. He would argue and try to convince me that he is the reason of my near death experiences. I argue back that the van had nothing to do with him or his world. Though I would never admit why I never saw that van coming towards me was because I was distracted by him.

Now I am sitting in Carlisle's office, so he can get the fragments of glass out of my arm that was sliced open because I was slam into a glass table by Edward to keep his brother Jasper from killing me at my own birthday party. It was fault as usual; I stupidly got a paper cut in front of a house full of vampires which tempted the one vampire that had the hardest time adapting to Cullen's diet.

Happy Birthday to me…I told them to ignore my birthday it only leads to turmoil.

Carlisle was inches from me and he had some sort of effect on me. My arm was propped up against him so he could easily doctor my arm. I had to do something to distract myself from thinking about him in an improper way.

"So what made you decide to become a doctor?" I ask, breaking the silence.

Carlisle say's putting the fragments of glass into a bowl, "Well beside the fact that medicine has always fascinated me. It always makes me feel some worth of being on this Earth when I can save a human life rather than kill it. It seems the least I can do, with being what I am…"

I sigh, "What you are? I wish you guys could get in your mind that you all are some of the most selfless beings on earth…"

A smile forms on his perfect face, "Bella I am most grateful that you think of that about us but we are naturally killers…"

I roll my eyes, "Yes and so are humans. Our kind has massacred millions for nothing but greed…our kind is no better…."

Carlisle says, "That is true and it is not like have not thought about that through the centuries. The humans from my time were probably some of the worst."

I knew he meant from when he was human which was around the late 1600s.

He pauses and sighs, "We are dammed regardless but I do hope that there is a point to our life…maybe if our time comes to an end we are recognize for the little good we had done…"

I shake my head, "Carlisle I cannot even see how there is not a place in Heaven for you and your family…"

He grins showing his perfect white teeth, "I do appreciate the compliment, Bella. Who knows maybe you are right. I guess no one is really sure…"

I then winced at a burning sensation coming from my arm. I look over and Carlisle gives me an apologetic smile. I realize it was just the anesthetic.

He finally gets me sewn up and bandaged.

I say looking at my bandaged arm, "If he would change me…then things like this would not happen…"

Carlisle says as he cleans up, "Just say if your roles were reverse and you believed as he did. Could you take away his soul?"

I did not have to think about it, but I knew deep down the answer was no. I would not be able to take Edward's soul but the point was I did not believe as he did. I believe with all my heart that he was not soulless the same goes for his family.

Edward walks in right after Carlisle discards all the items that were contaminated by my blood.

His features were unreadable. He and Carlisle seemed to have a silent conversation before Edward's eyes look at me.

"It is getting late, Bella. I should take you home." He said with no emotion what so ever. It scared me. I had to breathe…

I nod and I slide off Carlisle's desk, where I had set while he bandaged me up.

Carlisle gives me a gentle smile, "Bye Bella. I guess I will see you later."

Edward shakes his head at Carlisle and Carlisle says out loud, "We will talk when you get back."

I did understand the exchanged in the conversation but since Carlisle said that out loud then he must was putting his foot down.

I smile at Carlisle, "Thank you Carlisle."

He smiles, "My pleasure."

I have notice recently during the many times I have sat with Carlisle while he tries to fix one of the many injuries I end up getting, we seem to be bonding. And I do not believe we are bonding in just a friendly way, I can feel that maybe there is something more that sparking between us that we are both trying so hard to deny. It did not change the way I felt about Edward though. I still loved him with all my heart and knew I could be happy with him forever. If he would have me forever and that is what made my heart ache was that Edward did not seem to want me forever. He keeps making excuses on why he does not want to change me me but I try to tell him that my life was my choice but he still refuses.

While Edward drove to my house at an ungodly speed he kept silent.

I finally broke our silence, "Why are you being so quiet?"

He sighs, "Just lost in my thoughts, I guess."

I knew what he was thinking about, how his brother almost ravishes me because of a stupid paper cut.

I take a breath and say, "Look what happen with Jasper was nothing. I should have been more careful."

Edward seemed too winced at my statement and I could see the torture on his face, "Bella. No it is not your fault; I should have never brought you in this dangerous situation…"

I groan, "Edward, stop beating yourself up every time something happens to me. I chose to be with you, even when I found out what you were….I do not care."

Edward looks over at me his velvety voice is strained, "Bella you could have been killed. This is the second time you have almost been killed because of me."

I say frustrated, "Well then change me. Then I would be an equal and you would not have to worry…"

Edward glares out the windshield, "Don't be ridiculous Bella. You do not even understand what that means…."

I say trying to keep myself from crying, "You do not even think I am able to make my own choices. You treat me more like a child than a girlfriend…"

We were in my driveway. I grab my bag about to get out of his Volvo; Edward grabs my arm before I open the door, "Look at me Bella."

I knew as soon as I look at him then my anger for him would vanish. I refuse to look at him; I needed to be angry at him. I needed to let him see how I feel.

He says, "Bella you are human, weak and vulnerable and I am afraid that one day I will not be able to protect you….what if Victoria comes back and I am not here to protect, I am out hunting or distracted by some other danger that I may have put you in…."

I turn and look at him, "Like you have always said Alice would see her plans before it happens...."

Edward's face had softened, he pulls a stray hair out of my face, "She does not see everything and Victoria could do a number of things to alter Alice's visions…"

"Then change me." I demand.

Edward scowls and looks out the windshield and does not answer me.

I say, "You are not soulless Edward; I do not believe that…things would be so much easier for your family if you just changed me…"

Edward sighs he gives a soft kiss that was always restrained on my lips.

"You should sleep my love. We will talk more about this tomorrow after school."

So just like that Edward ended the conversation. He was for sure not going to easily budge when it came to me becoming a vampire.

I open the door then look back, "Are you going to spend the night?"

He has been for months now coming through my window after my dad fell asleep. He would lie in my bed while I would nestle into his chest and have the most wonderful sleep in his arms. For some odd reason he finds watching me sleep, fascinating.

Edward's face was expressionless again. He shakes his head, "Not tonight, my love. I need to think…"

My hearts tightened in my chest. If I have ever learned anything from Lauren and Jessica it would be, when guys says "I need some time to think" to you….eighty percent of the time the relationship is over.

Edward could see the fear in my face he kisses me one more time. I could tell his kisses were getting more and more distant as time goes by.

"I just need to check on Jasper and then grasp this whole situation, do not worry."

I nod. I ask, "Will you be at school?"

Edward shrugs, "I don't know."

I say sliding out of his car, "Well I guess I will see you later then."

Edward says, "I love you."

I manage to smile, "I love you too." Before shutting the door.

As soon as I get into my house, I hear his car zoomed away.

Charlie says, "Are you okay Bella?"

I was not sure he meant emotionally or physically. I knew by my demeanor, he could see something was wrong.

I nod, "Yeah I am fine."

Charlie nods, "Yeah Carlisle called to inform me that you tripped and crashed into a glass table…"

I was trying to get upstairs quick before I start balling my eyes out, "Yeah you know me….clumsy…well I am tired…."

I race upstairs before Charlie could say anymore.

I take a shower, brush my teeth, and do my daily routine. I decide to keep my window open, just in case Edward changed his mind.

I do some homework before finally settling in bed. It was 10pm and dad was asleep. I look at the window with my curtains flowing in the wind. No sign of Edward. My heart ache and I knew that it would come to this soon….he had been getting more and more distant lately. Tears fell down my cheeks, I eventually cry myself to sleep.

CPOV

I gaze out of the window while I watch Edward disappear into the distance with Bella. I already knew what he had planned to do and I pity Bella. I try to convince Edward that what he is doing is foolish and not best for Bella but he is way too stubborn to listen to me.

I feel Esme take my hand and she says, "Well I have made some calls with the Denali's. They have offered us a house on their land. Carmen says it is a bit run down but I suppose that would be something to keep me busy."

I look over at her, "I do not want to you to leave; you do understand that?"

Esme's nods, I can see the sadness in her eyes, "I know Carlisle but I think a little time apart will help our marriage."

Edward did not know yet that I was staying here in Forks. Alice told me what the condition she saw Bella in after Edward left. As a doctor I could not leave knowing one of my patients would end up in that condition. As a friend I could not abandon her because I knew we all have became her second family and it just seemed cruel to leave her. It was our fault for getting involved in her life and we couldn't just leave her. It was wrong.

I knew it was going to be a fight with him but he will know that he will have no other choice and maybe he will reconsider and not leave. Alice plans to stay with me and maybe migrate back and forth to see Jasper who will go on to Alaska for a few weeks to try to get back in control. Emmett will move to Alaska with Rosalie but he also plans to come back periodically to make sure Victoria does not come back.

Edward's plan was track down Victoria. He knew as well as everyone else that he was a horrible tracker. He was way too stubborn to ever listen to me. He was not thinking rationally which one of the traits that I suppose comes from being trapped in a 17 year old body.

I do understand what his wishes were which was incredibly selfless. He wanted Bella to have a real life with a husband and have children. He wanted her to go to college, have a job, and do everything that he desperately wished he could have done before his short life came to an end. None of us would have chosen this life for ourselves if we had a choice to live as a human.

One thing that Edward and Rosalie resented me for was that I had chosen for them to be immortal. I thought I was giving them a 2nd chance but to them it was just constant reminder of what they will never achieve. We lived a lie trying to live among the humans and Rosalie envies those humans around her, having children, raising them and everything she desired as a human.

Rosalie though had Emmett; he did fill some the void that Rosalie felt. Her human fiancé' never treat her as lady should be treated and then she found Emmett who almost worships the ground she on. He also brings her down to earth sometimes.

Though Edward my first son. He never came to terms to who he is now. He had lived almost a century with everyone who had found a mate and he was alone. Esme worried constantly about him and his well being. Then he found Bella who lighted up his world. I had never seen him so happy in his entire life. But he still cannot come to terms that he is a vampire who brings a lot of danger towards Bella. He also cannot give to Bella what a man should give to a woman. He can never give her children and he was not even sure if he would ever be able to make love to her while she is still human. Things she should experience as a human. Bella trusted him with her life and did not care that he will never be a normal mate, she loved him regardless. Edward though is too self involve in his self hatred to see Bella's true love for him.

I am the leader of this family and I do have responsibilities. I am not going to leave someone that we befriended; confused and helpless. I will not make Bella suffer through this alone. It was my decision to move to Forks and to stay even though Alice had saw months before Bella arrived that Edward would fall in love with her. Edward begged to leave but hearing Alice tell me how happy he would be, I refused.

I have to try to fix what we had broken. It is my duty.

I also had to reason with myself that I am staying strictly as Bella's doctor and friend…and not for something more that I can feel boiling inside me when I am close to Bella. I know she may feel the same way with how her heart reacts when she is around me. I though knew that is was wrong and would not make Bella's life any easier. I had to keep my selfish desires to myself. She is a 17 year old girl with erratic hormones; it is natural for her to have these types of feelings for others, other than her mate. She would soon lose those feelings she has about me when she is older and realize it was just a school girl crush. I though secretly hoped she would not and chided myself for thinking that way.

A.N: Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoy.