Popo, everyone's favorite young, blue robed Ice Climber, who was also recently removed, was snoring loudly as he was in class. Crazy Hand slammed the desk as Popo screamed girlishly, his white skin turning quite pale.
"Popo! Do you remember what I just taught?" Crazy Hand stated as he moved his fingertips about.
Popo shook his head as he gulped. "Uh... how can there be monks if humans are monkeys?"
"THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE DORITO POPE!" Crazy Hand exclaimed angrily as he snapped up a bottle of Mountain Dew, splashing it all over Popo. "F! For FAIRY GOD PARENTS!"
Popo wet himself in fright as he watched Crazy Hand have a seizure right in front of him, the hand acting exactly like Mr. Crocker. Suddenly, the door opened, and in front of it was 'God', who was wearing the Robotic Operating Buddy on his body and having bread on his face where his beard would usually be.
"Crappy Ham, you're going too HELL!" 'God' exclaimed as he pointed at Crazy Hand.
Crazy Hand shook himself as he scoffed. "No, because you're not real!"
"Neither are you, lol." 'God' stated as he began stroking Crazy Hand.
Popo gawked in disbelief as he squinted his eyes, with Crazy Hand then pulling off the R.O.B. and bread from 'God', revealing the divine figure of DKVine to actually be...
"Stafy!?" Popo exclaimed as he squealed joyfully, letting out a cute little poot in shock.
Stafy chuckled as he nodded, pointing at himself. "Yes, and now I'm gonna do what I should have done a long time ago!" He then began singing 'Walking Contradiction' by Green Day.
"NO! KEN PENDERS! MY ONE WEAKNESS!" Crazy Hand exclaimed as he curled himself into a ball, exploding into confetti.
Popo and Stafy blinked as they turned to each other, with Stafy coughing.
"Anyway, right." Stafy stated as he placed back on his 'God' costume, although his regular face remained. "I need you to rescue my toast. The evil clothing, Satin, has somehow came to life, and is acting like a big fat meanie!"
"But how can clothing be evil?" Popo admitted as he rubbed his hands on his blue parka. "Clothes are awesome!"
"Well not for me. That's why I wear this Robotic Operation Buddy all over me when I cosplay as God." Stafy explained as he noticed Popo scratching his butt. "Are you even listening?"
"Nah." Popo stated as he then pulled Donkey Kong's Coconut Gun out of his ass, pointing it at Stafy and shooting coconuts, which fired in spurts. And it hit Stafy right in the eyes, so it's gotta hurt.
"I'm gonna be bigger, faster, and stronger too!" Popo stated as he saluted in front of the American flag, with the Star Spangled Banner playing in the background. "And I'm going to be the only member of the Nintendo of America crew! HUH!"
And thus began Popo's mission from 'God', to stop the Cowardly Lion from become the king... of the FOREST!
...
...
With a woof, and a ruff, and a royal growl... wuff.