A/N: Again, this is AU. But it takes place in Chicago, and our three heroines are already an established team. As of right now, The Scooby Gang, Team Arrow and Harry Dresden and crew will not be making appearances (Maybe later though:) ).
My hope is to create a series of One-Shots for the three ladies and their adventures. So, let me know if you'd like more!
Nerd on!
I guess I should start doing the disclaimer thing: I do not own these characters, nor do I make any profit from them. Good enough?
Three Blondes and a Troll
"Is that a -," Buffy asked, eyebrows scrunched together is disbelief.
"Troll," Murphy said finishing her sentence. She sighed, looking at the ten foot tall, green beast roaring at them. "I hate trolls."
"TROLL! In the dungeon!" Felicity quipped in a fake, frightened British accent over the comms.
Said troll's roar sounded like a gurgling foghorn that was up against a microphone, other than that, Felicity only got silence from the two women.
"Don't tell me you two haven't read Harry Potter," Felicity asked.
Buffy could just imagine Felicity shaking her head in disgust. "I watched the movie," she supplied, hoping it would help her case. After all, she'd been a little busy saving the world the last couple years to read books.
"No. I've had my fill of real wizards named Harry," Murphy sighed again.
"You guys disgust me."
"Felicity. Troll. Real life troll. Right in front of us," Murphy grated out. This is what she got for teaming up with a 20 and 25 year old. Felicity had sent them to the old business park after watching something (the troll) wreak havoc on the park from the hacked security cameras. How Felicity always found the bad guys? Murphy wasn't sure she wanted to know, she just thanked God the business park was dark and empty of people. She didn't need to be looking out for helpless civilians. The troll stood there, lit up, its green skin almost luminescent under one of the street lights. It was hitting itself in its huge pot belly, like it was psyching itself up for a fight, roaring the whole while.
"Right. Troll. Is it about 10 feet tall, green and ugly?"
Very ugly. Its big head looked like it went 100 rounds with Mike Tyson and lost every time. It was lumpy on one side and one eye was distinctly lower than the other. Its nose was smooshed and all nostrils. Its ears were large and stuck out, just like a troll's ears should.
"And hairy. Really hairy. Not like Chewbacca hairy. More like, 'Oh God, did you lose your razor for five years hairy?' on an already hairy person," Buffy said tilting her head to look up at the monster. Half because of it's size and half because it was so ugly she just couldn't look away.
The troll must have registered Buffy's insult because he narrowed his already impossibly small beady black eyes at her and growled in her direction. "Puny woman. I will stomp on you and your friend then suck the marrow from your bones!" It garbled out, sounding as if it had ashes and marbles in his mouth.
"You just had to go there, didn't you?" Murphy asked shaking her head. She readied herself as the troll began lumbering over to them, gaining impressive speed for such a large unwieldy creature. Twenty feet away now. She reached for her gun and glanced over to Buffy.
She was still standing there, calm as can be. One hand on her hip over her long black coat and pants, the other scratching her chin. A look of confusion and total disgust on her young pretty face. "How does it run so fast? Anything with that big of a potbelly should not run that fast."
Murphy still wasn't used to Buffy's fighting style. She wanted to scream at the girl to get ready! To take her stance, pull out a weapon, anything! But Buffy's Slayer powers made her better, faster and stronger than almost anything that came their way. The problem came when you combined her powers with her flippant attitude. You get fights that go on longer than they should, with a lot more damage than necessary. But still, they've had a 100% success rate. Hard to argue with that, but Murphy was Irish and Catholic, so she was good at arguing.
"Buffy," Murph said in warning. The troll was only 10 feet away now, it's steps shaking the street and making loud boom, boom, boom noises every time a foot connected with the ground.
Buffy shook her head and blinked a couple times. "Right. Ready." Yet, she still didn't take a fighting stance, she just relaxed. Inhaled through her nose and out through her mouth.
The troll reached Buffy and swung his massive arm and clubbed fist down at her, trying to flatten her into the ground. She dodged the blow and let his momentum carry him past her. Which allowed Murphy - an opportunist when dealing with the supernatural - to unload a full clip into the back of its head.
Which did absolutely no damage.
"Shit," Murphy said.
"Huh, you think the bullets would have at least made a dent. His head doesn't look that hard," Buffy said over the roaring of the Troll, again tilting her head and scratching her chin. "I think you just made him angrier."
"I will rip out your bones individually from your body and use them as toothpicks!" the troll howled. Yep. Angrier.
"Ooh, individually? That's a big word there, Mr. Troll." He made another hulking swipe at Buffy, but she dodged him again, just as easily as before and she laughed aloud at his clumsiness.
"Bullets didn't work?" Felicity asked.
"Not even a scratch," Murphy replied as she watched Buffy toy with the troll. She ducked and rolled between its legs when he made a grab for her. She hadn't even tried to land a blow on him, she was having too much fun.
"STAND STILL WENCH!"
"Huh. Does it have horns?"
Murphy squinted up and took a few steps to the left to look at its head. "Yup. Well, they are mostly broken off, but he's got 'em."
"Yeah, that's not good."
"What's not good?"
Buffy had circled the giant troll again and got him so turned about that he'd actually lost her for a few seconds. She had to tap him on the back and say, "I'm over here, ugly."
Another foghorn roar sounded out.
"You guys are going to need some iron or steel. Because this guy isn't going to go down easily."
Murphy clenched her jaw and said, "Freakin' fairies." Then she holstered her useless gun at her hip and looked left and right.
"Two buildings over, south, Karrin, there's construction site. Might find something there," Felicity said. "Hold on. I'm hacking into the building plans now. . . And Holy, Karrin, you must have gone to church this week, because there should be plenty of rebar laying around, which means steel bars!"
Murphy looked skyward and smiled before calling over to Buffy, "You good?"
"Oh, yeah! I could do this all day!"
And Murphy believed her, the girl wasn't even winded. In fact, she looked like she was having a blast. Oh to be 20 and to have super powers. "I'll be right back, don't get wacked. I won't be here to save your ass."
"Yes, Mother!"
Murphy wasn't built to be a runner - she had the body of a gymnast and the hand-eye coordination of a professional athlete - but she could do it well enough, and with only a short distance to go and an angry troll roaring in the background, she dashed through the dark empty Chicago night and made it to the construction site pretty darn fast.
The site was cornered off by chain link fences covered in tarps to hide the on goings and supplies from the public eye. Murphy walked up the fence and checked over her shoulders to make sure no one was around and started climbing. She made it to the top and jumped down, landing in a crouch, the chain link rattled even after she'd released it.
"It's dark," Murphy mumbled mostly to herself, wishing she had a flashlight.
"That's usually what happens in the Fall at 4:30 pm." Felicity said, not helping at all. "And I thought Starling was bad. I don't know how I'm going to make it through winter if autumn is already this bad."
"You're killing me Felicity," Murphy said through gritted teeth and walked over to a mound that was covered by a tarp and peeked under. Nope, cement. She walked to the next.
"That's how I felt when you guys told me you haven't read Harry Potter."
Murphy ripped the tarp off the next large mound with a little more force than necessary and exclaimed, "Aha!" when she found what she was looking for: 10 foot rebar. A little excessive for a weapon, but at least they weren't the 20-foot-plus long ones. She grabbed two, chucked them over the fence and was up and over, running back to Buffy in 15 seconds.
Murphy rounded the corner and saw Buffy standing with her hands on her hips shaking her head. She'd gotten the troll all turned about again. He was facing the opposite direction, head on a swivel trying to find the small infuriating blonde.
"I mean, I know trolls aren't the brightest -"
"Buffy!" Murphy grated out. Buffy turn left at her call, which unfortunately allowed the troll to turn around and swing a giant clubbed fist and backhand Buffy into a line of cars 10 feet away. The crunch that sounded out was from a car door being dented, not Buffy's body.
"Son of a -," Murphy started under her breath. She knew better than that; to distract a person in a fight.
"Is she moving Karrin?" Felicity asked over the comms.
Felicity had probably hacked into some camera around the business park to see what was going on, but obviously didn't have a good enough view.
Buffy was on the ground in front of the dented car, but coming to. A street light overhead allowed Murph to see Buffy open her eyes, blink a couple times and then shake her head as if she was trying to wake up.
"Yeah. She'll be fine," Murphy said. She'd seen the girl take way worse hits than that.
The troll was smiling now, drool escaped his open mouth and showed off his large jagged yellow teeth that poked out in different directions.
"Women's bones taste the best. Next to babies, of course," the troll growled out, his voice once again filled with ash and marbles.
Buffy gave him a Ew-you-sicko look that only a person recently out of their teens could give, before she turned her head back to Murphy. Murph held a rebar in each hand and lifted one up. Then it was Buffy's turn to smile.
"A little distraction, if you will, Murphy?" Buffy asked quietly, knowing Murph would hear her via the comms.
Even twenty feet away, Buffy could see Murphy's lips turn up in a small one sided and intimidating smile. For a vanilla human, Murph could be pretty darn scary. She's seen too many things, and really hated trolls. Something about them 'starting this whole damn mess' came to Buffy's mind?
Murphy started sprinting at the same time the troll took a heavy step forward. When she was 10 feet away Buffy got to her feet and actually took a fight stance: Legs spread, knees slightly bent and facing the troll, she brought her arms up, fingers loose, ready for whatever was to come.
Murphy jumped up on the trunk on the nearest small sedan and ran up the back window onto the roof. She launched herself off, threw one rebar to Buffy and landed on the trolls back and brought her own rebar around its neck, in a choker hold. The steel on the troll's neck made it go wild. That horrible gurgling foghorn roar was back, tenfold this time in his agony. The rebar steel was like poison to anything from the NeverNever. The troll swung left and right violently, trying to dislodge Murphy, but she held tight.
"Alright, Buffy. As much as it grosses me out to say this: Rip him open. I believe it's the easiest way to kill it." Felicity told her.
Buffy looked up at the struggling troll with Murphy on its back and then down to her rebar. "Alrighty then," she shrugged and then grabbed one end and bent the rebar with her slayer strength so it now resembled a large hook.
"Swing-batter-batter," she said under her breath and swung her hooked rebar right into the troll's heart -she was good at that, hitting hearts- and stepped forward and dragged it down the troll's chest, and down through its pot-bellied stomach, literally ripping a hole three-feet long.
The troll had stopped moving right when the rebar entered its heart, it even ceased its terrible screaming and dropped its hairy green arms when she drug it through its front. Its small black eyes bulged impossibly big.
And then it exploded.
Ectoplasm, translucent goo, from the Nevernever flew everywhere. Including all over Buffy's black coat and pants and . . . face.
Murphy, having nothing to hold onto anymore dropped suddenly, and landed standing, but up to her calves in what looked like gallons of the stuff. She dropped the rebar, its clanking to the ground muffled by the goo. She tried lifting a booted foot out of the ectoplasm and struggled. So she set it back down, took a deep breath and looked at Buffy.
Buffy was covered, head to toe, in the ectoplasm. She had a horrified look on her face and was frozen still with the hooked rebar still in her hands. "Ew," she squeaked out.
"Guys? You all good? This camera angle sucks. I don't hear a troll anymore. Is the troll gone?" Felicity asked into the silence.
"It's gone," Murphy said tiredly. Then she drudged out of the ectoplasm over to Buffy and took the rebar out of her hands and dropped it on the ground, into more goo. She looked the girl up and down and said, "You're not getting in my car like that."
Buffy then felt she understood why Murphy hated trolls so much.