::grins:: This was inspired by a Chips Ahoy!™ commercial. First, please note that this isn't really a one-shot with a plot-- just something written on a whim. Originally, it was typed up with a self-insertion, so I could quickly lay out my idea. Later, I had substituted that self-insert with Anzu, much to her chagrin. She's my favorite female YuGiOh!© character, but right now, she's yelling at me that she's so not feeling the love.

On an added note, after editing this, I'd like quickly reply to the few reviews I've received. No, Malik-Yami and 'Kura-Yami aren't cannibals; I just left it off there because that's how the commercial ended. XD  As for a sequel… Hm, I don't know.  I like how this one-shot ended, (It still tickles me to remember the cookie's resigned realization.) so I'm not sure how to continue this. If I ever will. As for a lemon… ::coughs:: can't write one for shyt, because I've never written one. And if I tried, who's to say that some person I know who knows I write under this penname might come across it? ::shudders::

There's really no waff or anything of that sort between Anzu and Malik-Yami and/or 'Kura-Yami. ::snickers:: But there's something kinda close to that towards the end. ::smirking::

Dedicated to Tea fan! She's has been a wonderful correspondent and friend. This is a rather belated birthday fanfic, but a gift none-the-same.

Anyway, Enjoy!

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:: No Cake ::

            There was a party of sorts, taking place in one of many shady taverns: Loud and raucous, fun and whatnot. A very Yami-ish party, of course. Anzu looks around, blinking as her dark eyes sweep over the room. There are so many antagonists here, some of them talking, some of them brawling, some of them plotting in the shadowed niches-- a small smirk tugs at the corner of her lips unconsciously, like a cat anticipating her tweeting prey. And they are very beautiful prey, at that.

            However, internally, she squirms in discomfort, writhing in nervousness. She feels so many eyes on her-- so many colored orbs, some of them dull, some of them cold, some of them filled with intensity. All of them have that evil-like glint, flashing on the surface, though some more than others. They make her feel exposed and vulnerable.

            How did she get roped into this again? Sigh.

            A flash of white, a flash of gold. She blinks those blue, crystalline eyes of hers, her ears twitching as two certain persons approach her. Fingering the hand daggers hidden up her sleeves, ones that the authoress had discreetly given her before dumping her at the mercy of the party's "hosts", she casually looks over her shoulders. Two very dark, and evil smiles, so wide and full of teeth, meet her gaze. Half-lidded purple eyes, sharply outlined in kohl, were smirking to another pair of eyes, though these were a shade of deep red-- a dark crimson, like freshly split blood. The hairstyles of both were unmistakable, one being of gold, to compliment his sun-kissed skin very nicely; and the other of an unnatural white, much lighter than the pale skin of his hikari.

            She plasters on a bright, perky smile, but says nothing. If she tried to speak, her voice would clearly waver; she was positive that the owners of all those eyes could smell fear. She shifts uncomfortably as they approached her, fully aware of the many stares following her every move, those many stares trailing up and down her body.

            Oh, what she'd give for an escape route! Anzu gulps quietly, and when they stop in front of her, there's a silence between them. Thankfully, the low dim of the rest of the... guests hadn't paused, though she was certain that most of their eyes were settled on them. What a sight, she was sure— a "good" character smack dabbed in the middle of a room full of evil characters—and not just evil guys, but hot, male guys. Finally, Anzu can't take their smug, calculating gazes any longer, and blurts out: "You never did give me the occasion."

            The two traded glances, and she could practical see the secret, meaningful look that passed between them.

            "We're... celebrating my creation."

            Her eyes turn to Malik-Yami, her mind doing the logic. So today was the anniversary of Malik's Tomb keeper Initiation? She didn't know-- the authoress hadn't known, as the date was never mentioned in both the manga and the anime. Though she had the suspicion that the two yamis before had more on their agenda-- that concerned her, no doubt-- she couldn't do anything about it. Damn.

            "Come now, mortal."

            At Yami Bakura's nod, she follows them to a long rectangular table, where she finds most of the guests seated already. In front of them were expensive-looking tableware-- she had promised the authoress some souvenirs, Anzu suddenly remembered, as she began eyeing the silver utensils, the gold plates, the jewel-encrusted napkin holders, and the crystal wine glasses.

            They moved to the middle of one long side of the table, as they seated themselves in two chairs that were a touch more magnificent than the others. In between them was a smaller one, something like a miniature version of the two that flanked its side. Uncertainly, she slid into that one.

            "Let's toast!" roared Malik-Yami, standing up, holding up his glass of a dark red liquid that filled it. The rest mirrored his movements, Bakura being one of them. Anzu did not touch hers, eyeing the two warily.

            Malik-Yami looked down at her, smirking. "What, you're not going to celebrate?"

            She rolled her eyes. "To Yami Malik!" she spoke, glaring at him as she lifted her own glass.

            "To that bastard!" someone called out. Laughter rang through the table, and Yami Malik smirked.

            "Why, thank you."

            Tentatively, Anzu took a sip. It looked like wine (she never did like alcoholic drinks), but it certainly did not smell like it. A coppery, bittersweet washed over her tongue, and upon realizing it, she winced in disgust and just barely restrained herself from recoiling in horror. But Anzu was a smart girl-- it wouldn't look good if she just placed it back in refined politeness. Anzu sent a quick prayer to God, and pretended to take a longer sip.

            But then there was a silence that met her ears and she frowned, noticing that all pairs of eyes were on her. Even the glowing ones in the abyss-like ceiling looked down on her. She blinked, feeling a bead of sweat roll down the side of her face. She did not like that hungry look in their eyes-- in all their eyes, ever following, ever watchful.

            "So," began Anzu nervously, breaking the silence. "Where's the cake?"

            Something warm nuzzled her neck, sending sparks and tingles down her spine. Without moving an inch, her wide eyes flew to the unconcerned head of white hair that was leaning towards her. She gulped, feeling the smirk on her neck, and also with Malik-Yami leaning in front of her, grinning as he licked his teeth in... Anticipation...?

            "Ah, cake?" purred Baku-Yami from his position. Damn him, he was enjoying the fear that rolled off her in waves!

            Yami Malik leaned towards her other side, his lips brushing her ears with his husky voice.

            "But we're not having cake..."

            "We're not haa... Oh."

            ...

            "Aw, shit."

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:: Finis ::

::currently laughing her ass, but manages to gasp out: Review please!, before resuming her unadulterated laughter on the floor::

Ryou:  (—  —) Bloody sadist…