Chapter 1
The seed drifted down like thistledown, feathery and light, just like a dandelion parachute seed, except that it was a vivid purple. It settled on a shabby rooftop in a street of rundown shops, takeaway restaurants and a seedy looking nightclub to the north east of the city. It lodged against a chipped slate tile and stayed there until a downpour washed it down and into the gutter.
The grey, plastic channel was clogged up with moss, dead leaves and scraps of litter carried there from the street by gulls and south westerly winds. The seed settled in the nutrient rich detritus and imbibing the slightly acidified rain water it began to swell. A day later and fibrous roots had penetrated the material blocking the drain, holding it firmly in place as a pale blue shoot arched up, coiled tight like an umbrella yet to be unfurled.
Thin, spiny leaves gradually opened up, blue from pigments designed to absorb red and green wavelengths of light, having evolved under a different sun than the one the plant now found itself dependent on for energy. Fortunately for it, there was nothing shading it high up on the rooftop and it was able to extract sufficient hydrocarbons from the polluted air for its own version of photosynthesis. Its fellow travellers that had fallen to the street had not been so lucky and had shrivelled up and died soon after germinating.
Nobody saw the strange seedling flourishing high up above the street. It was tiny, barely more than an inch high, its delicate frond like leaves buffeted in the strong breeze, but it was a survivor.
The men chasing the creature into the nightclub below were completely oblivious to the presence of another rift traveller in their midst. Even if they had spotted it, chances were that they wouldn't have considered it anywhere near as dangerous as the sharp-toothed, boiler-suited extraterrestrial they were pursuing, but then again it had only just germinated.
"Ianto – you go in there, check out the club – I'll meet you round the back!"
"Why me? Do I look like I'm going to blend in with the regulars?" Ianto raised his eyebrows and gestured dramatically at the particularly sharp pin-striped suit he was wearing. He sometimes wondered if Jack had any idea about dressing for the location. When he'd been invited out for an evening of 'weevil-hunting' this hadn't exactly been the first thing that came to mind. He blamed Jack for the fact that he was no longer able to distinguish euphemism from reality.
"Excuse me – military great coat?" Jack shouted back, raising his eyebrows higher than Ianto's. His protestations meant nothing to Ianto as he knew that Jack wore that coat everywhere. Not that Ianto always minded, it had usefully doubled up as a blanket and kept him from catching a chill on numerous occasions.
"Bloody hell, if I get the crap beaten out of me, you're paying for a private room at the hospital – got it?" Ianto scowled at Jack as he reluctantly agreed to follow orders.
"I'll even buy you grapes – now hurry up and get your ass in there before that weevil starts tucking into the 'all you can eat' buffet on display!"
Ianto shook his head, cursing under his breath as he pushed his way through a throng of scantily clad young women to get to the door. They were probably underage, but Jack had a point, they were definitely flashing enough flesh to tempt even an overfed weevil. He was beginning to doubt Jack's motives for taking the outside of the club.
Trying to dodge a particularly persistent young woman who thrust her bosom at him and then grabbed hold of his elbow trying to use him to get into the club, Ianto found himself blocked by the less attractive, but more formidable, chest of one of the bouncers. If the large man hadn't been wearing a suit, poorly fitting and thinning at the elbows, Ianto could have easily mistaken him for a weevil in the dark.
Although tempted to shove his gun in the man's face and flash his Torchwood ID, it was easier to hand over a tenner and have a paper band taped around his wrist. He managed to shake off his shadow by taking the stairs two at a time, that was until he was further delayed by a plastic bowl of condoms being waved in his face by a surly looking man with a lot of facial hair. Attempts to politely decline the offer of a free GI Johnny condom proved futile so he grabbed a handful and shoved them in his jacket pocket. He swore that Jack would pay for this and he didn't just mean the ten pounds entrance fee.
The band inside weren't bad, thought Ianto as he scanned around the dimly lit bar area for a figure in a blue boiler suit. The strobe lighting that flickered across from the stage made it hard to detect anything out of the ordinary – or more to the point, anything not strange. Standing near the electric fan on the bar, which seemed to be the only source of moving air in the entire building, Ianto felt the drum beat throbbing in the air and the bass booming at such a low pitch that it made his stomach ache. The badly balanced speakers and poorly mixed sound made it difficult to hear what was being yelled at him from behind. A large hand slapped on his shoulder drew his attention to the barman who sported a Mohican and was apparently asking if he wanted a drink. Ianto shook his head and started to make his way through another cluster of giggling girls towards the stairway that led onto a balcony. He grimaced as the soles of his shoes stuck to the tacky floor that seemed to be coated with a veneer of sticky beer.
Suddenly an ear splitting screech rent the air and Ianto pulled his gun from his pocket, convinced that an innocent victim must have been attacked by the weevil that he was seeking. Before he knew what was happening, he was shoved unceremoniously to the floor, the air forced out of his lungs by a heavy mass that pinned him to the ground and then he became acutely aware of a sharp pain as his arm was bent behind his back.
PC Andy Davidson couldn't resist a smug smile as he took Captain Jack Harkness behind the counter to the cells to collect his sidekick.
"Where did you get to then? According to Gwen you two are inseparable – like Cardiff's very own dynamic duo, but without the flashy capes."
"Busy," grunted Jack miserably.
Jack had found the weevil in the rubbish skips at the back of the club, searching for food and he'd been really annoyed that Ianto hadn't replied to his call for assistance. He figured he was sulking. It was after he'd restrained the weevil and dumped it in the back of the SUV, parked a way down the street, that he saw the police car drive off. He wondered if there had been more than one weevil, but not being able to get Ianto to answer his calls, Jack had been forced to ask a taxi driver standing at the edge of the crowd of bystanders what had happened. He gleefully told Jack about 'some bloke in a suit' who had pulled a gun inside the club. According to Jack's willing informant, the bouncers had disarmed him and called the police in.
He really hoped they hadn't hurt Ianto too much.
"He's not happy with you – just warning, that's all."
"He's not happy with me?" Jack was incredulous.
"Kept muttering something about 'fucking-Jack-fucking-Harkness' and grapes…" Andy frowned. "Honestly, what were the two of you thinking? Wandering about in Albany Road, with guns, is just asking for trouble. Your mate was lucky there was a patrol car in the vicinity. Could've got nasty if we'd not pulled him in."
Jack winced as he imagined the tongue lashing he was in for, knowing that it wasn't going to be the sort he enjoyed either.
Andy took a large bundle of keys and made a scene of locating the right key to open the door to Ianto's cell. As he opened the door Jack caught a glimpse of Ianto sitting on the bench, head in his hands, as if unable to face him.
"Ianto?"
"Don't talk to me."
"Do you want me to get you outta here or not?" Jack spoke quietly, not wanting PC Davidson to witness them falling out. He wouldn't rule out a dose of retcon if it helped Ianto forgive him any more quickly.
"Yes." Ianto said in a low voice.
"Yes what?"
"Yes, sir."
"I was looking for 'yes please', but that's good. Come on – let's get you home."
Jack's grin slipped from his face as Ianto lifted his head and stood up. "What the hell happened to you?"
Ianto's white shirt was soiled with a variety of unsavoury looking stains, his tie was missing and his face was littered with small cuts and bruises.
"Given the choice I would have aimed to miss the floor, but eighteen stone of bouncer took that decision out of my hands. As it was my fall was cushioned by a carpet of broken bottles and stale beer, fortunately I think it was too early for the puddles of vomit."
"Oh." Jack grimaced as he held out a hand cautiously; he wasn't surprised when Ianto refused the offer of assistance.
By the time they reached the front desk, Andy could barely contain himself. He gleefully held out a clear plastic bag containing the items they'd removed from Ianto before locking him up. He made sure he held it up high enough for Jack Harkness to see each and every item.
"You'll be wanting these back I take it? If you'd just like to check each item and sign for them." Andy looked from Ianto to Jack, a mischievous grin on his face as he waited for a reaction from either of them.
The second Jack's eyes had latched onto the contents of the bag was precisely the moment when Ianto wished the ground would open up and swallow him. Along with his firearm, stun gun, wallet, Bluetooth, car keys and rolled up tie, were half a dozen condom packets.
"Ianto Jones! You really were prepared for anything tonight, weren't you?"
"Fuck," mouthed Ianto.
"What was that?" Jack leaned around and picked up one of the brightly coloured packets for closer inspection.
"You owe me ten quid…" Ianto muttered between clenched teeth. "And grapes."