This chapter has been edited, let me know if I missed something. Thanks for reading!

To: Ludwig Beilschmidt.

Feb, 1947

Most Awesome Little Brother,

I'm not feeling so hot today. Like this is the worst I've ever felt. It's taking all my focus to use prissy Austria's fancy smancy typewriter to write this out. Honestly, I don't know why we need these huge clunking things, pens are way more awesome. But I guess that's just my inner old man talking. Besides, you always say my handwriting is shitty and I wanted you to be able to read all this.

In all honesty, and you know the great Prussia never holds back on that, I wasn't going to write to you. But Liza whacked me real hard with that frying pan of hers and gave me this huge ass lecture about what a dick of a big brother I've been and how you need me and shit.

….I don't really think you need me anymore. You would have figured all this out on your own because you're so smart and efficient and strong. Basically, I did a good damn job somewhere in the raising process.

But just in case you do need me, I want you to read all this. Every. Last. Word. And take your time, you're always in such a damn hurry.

It seems that this is my last wish, so listen to me.

By the time you get this, I'll probably be dead in Austria's living room of all the stupid places. I wish I could have died in battle. Do you think Roderich would fight me to the death? In my state, he would actually win. It's like the only chance he would ever have. ..I don't think he will. He never does anything I want him too!

Shit, I coughed on the paper.

I don't really have time to start over…

That's a little gruesome, isn't it? A bloody last note. Sorry about that.

I'm going to rub blood all over Roerich's furniture!

And his piano keys!

He'll be pissed at me when they're putting me in the grave. Can't have that bitch crying over me. It's bad enough that Liza is. You'll be pleased to know that I made my peace with her at last. After all, loving someone doesn't obligate them to love you. Remember that Ludwig, you have to be what they need too. I don't know why I'm telling you that though, you were better at that than me when you only came to my knees. You might be a little loud and quick to anger, But you're an excellent man.

You always gave me what I needed, even when I didn't know it myself. Even when the world was dark and desolate and covered in blood, where I saw you it was a beautiful place. When Old Fritz died, when Liza didn't pick me, when I was knee deep in trench mud and I could smell burnt people on the wind, I still loved you. I think there were times when you were all I really loved. It's like that with a child and you will always be my child, even if you do get to be a freakin foot taller than me.

I know you don't think your excellent anymore, Ludwig. But I know better. Nothing he did to us was your fault. We didn't know until it was too late! Please understand, for me, that you're a victim of this war, just like our people. You are what they are and there's no separating it. That's the price we pay and the gift we receive for what we are.

It was an awesome gift to have had.

But you were the greatest gift I ever received.

And now I'm crying on the damn paper, so much for neatness. I haven't been this damn sentimental since I met you. So, you need to get over all this and be happy for me. I need to let go knowing that I asked you to do that!

But there are other purposes to this letter, things you might chose to be angry with me for. But try to understand, okay?

Do you know what your name means? I must have taught you sometime, but it's been such a long life. It means "Famous Warrior", pretty awesome right? I thought so, when I choose it. I suppose you would have assumed that Grandpa named you. ..and he did once. Grandpa called you Otto. Otto was Holy Rome's name. It meant "Wealth". Wealth is something to make people jealous and cruel. It's better to be strong. Otto was never strong enough. So when he woke up, I called him something else. After all, Otto was supposed to be dead. I couldn't very well keep calling you that.

I know this must sound silly, like I'm talking out of my head. But I'm sane as I've ever been, even if that wasn't much, I just hurt a lot. Ask Liza, ask Francis, they know. Ask Feliciano, when you do finally go back to him, it won't take him long to remember. Your death was the worst day of my life, even worse than today. I remember it all in painstaking detail. I'll try to tell it best as I can, so that maybe you will be able to recall it.

Historical Note:

1947 is the year that Prussia ceased to exist. In my headcannon, I imagine that this would have hurt Gilbert greatly on a physical level. It's also my headcannon that Ludwig would share Gil's last name and that Holy Rome's name was Otto, a popular name for Holy Roman Emperors. The name meanings are legit in that I researched them. But name meanings are always subject to debate. Isn't it neat that Ludwig could mean "Famous Warrior"? It's so him!

Author's Note:

I've had this idea and I just had to write it. Like it's been stuck on my brain for months. idk if I'm any good at conveying emotion this way (letter format). But it's great practice anyway and it gives me a lot of room to play around with headcannons, which is a lot of fun. I usually don't post fics until I'm all done, but I want feedback on this one as it grows. Reviews will give me all the happiness.

Expect at least one more chapter, but I'll probably drag on a bit longer than that.

Also, I'm my own Beta. Don't hesitate to point out any grievous errors. But this is supposed to have been written by a sick person, so I wasn't exactly going for perfect sentence structure or neat flow with it.

It's so much fun to share this fandom with you guys! Love you. Good Night!