Dean slammed the door shut behind us, chucking his bag onto the bed with so much force it toppled off and knocked over the lamp on the bedside table. I winced, dropping my own bag and collapsing onto my bed to take some of the pressure off my leg.

"Dude, you gotta calm down," Sam said.

"Not now Sammy!"

"It wasn't—

"Don't you dare tell me it wasn't my fault because we both know it was. I didn't get there fast enough."

"She was already gone Dean, there's nothing you could have done."

"Just leave it Sam!"

Sam huffed, sending me an exasperated look before grabbing the keys to the impala.

"I'm going to get some supplies. You need to cool off. Keep an eye on him for me Amy."

Dean's eyes flickered to me for moment, like he had forgotten I was there. I fidgeted with the hem of my shirt. Once Sam was out the door Dean sighed, letting his shoulders slump forward and shaking his head.

"Dean?" I asked hesitantly.

"What?" he replied sharply.

"Are you okay?"

"Do I look okay?!"

"You don't have to yell at me Dean, I'm just trying to help."

"I don't need help! I need to learn not to be such a fuck up! I mean, she was right there. And I couldn't get to her before that asshole vamp got her."

He dropped his head in his hands and it broke my heart when his shoulders started to shake. Ignoring the stinging pain in my leg, I stood from the bed and shuffled over to Dean. Slowly, as not to startle him, I slipped my arms around his waist and rested my head on his shoulder.

"Hey Jude, don't made it bad. Take a sad song and make it better. Remember to let her into your heart, then you can start to make it better," I sang softly.

I felt his muscles relax under my fingers and he finally let himself break down. He turned in my arms, surprising me by dropping his head on my shoulder and pulling me to his chest. I held him tightly, rubbing his back soothingly and singing softly in his ear to calm him down.

It seemed like hours, but it could have been minutes, before he finally let go, standing up straight and rubbing his eyes. I touched his cheek gently and offered a sad smile before turning to sit back on the bed. He stood awkwardly for a moment, shifting from foot to foot before sitting next to me.

"Is your leg alright?" he asked.

"Yeah, I think so. I mean, it's not broken, but it's pretty sore."

"You should let me take a look at it just in case."

"Maybe you should let me pop your shoulder back into place first," I suggested.

"How did you—

"Pfft, please. It's obvious."

He nodded, and turned away from me, bracing himself. I placed my hands on his shoulder, one on the back and one on the front, and pulled, popping it back into place.

"Son of a bitch!" he cursed.

"All set," I said, pushing away from him.

He took a moment to collect himself before gingerly pulling my injured leg into his lap and rolling up the leg of my jeans.

"That's a pretty nasty bruise," he said, letting out a whistle.

"Yeah well, getting into it with a vamp who fights dirty will do that."

He slid his fingers along my leg, checking for bumps and sore spots. I flinched when he got to my ankle.

"Here?" he asked, pressing down slightly.

"Ow! Jesus fuck!" I swore.

"I'll take that as a yes. Take some Advil and keep off it as much as you can. It should be fine in a couple of days."

"Thanks Dean."

"I'm gonna take a shower. You need anything?" he asked.

"No I'm good," I said, yawning as I slid my leg off his lap and lay down.

He stood and made his way to the bathroom. The last thing I heard before I fell asleep was the sound of the water turning on and Dean softly singing some Metallica song.

When I woke up there was a bottle of Advil and a glass of water on the bedside table. I smiled, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. Dean was asleep on the other bed and Sam was at the table on his laptop. I downed two Advil and chugged the water, realizing I was thirsty.

"Hey Amy. How are you feeling?" Sam asked, getting up from the table and moving to sit on the end of my bed.

"Okay. Legs sore, but once the Advil kicks in I'll be fine."

"That's good to hear. Um, can I ask you something?"

"Sure. What's up?"

"Do you like Dean?"

I blinked at him, taken aback by his question.

"Uh, I, well, uh, I just…yes," I said shyly.

"Do you think you might eventually tell him?"

"Maybe, but probably not"

"Why?"

"Because what if he doesn't feel the same way? It would be so awkward and I would totally have to run away and become a solo hunter. Only I probably wouldn't make it that far because I would die of embarrassment first and—

"Whoa, whoa chill. Why do you automatically think of the worst possible scenario?"

"Because if my track record with guys has taught me anything, it's to not get my hopes up," I explained.

"You wanna talk about track records? My first real girlfriend died the same way my mother did."

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry."

"Thanks. It's not your fault, but I appreciate it. Honestly I'd just go for it. Dean's worth the risk," he said seriously.

I sighed and glanced over at Dean who was snoring softly.

"Not to change the subject, except I kind of want to change the subject, so I guess, to change the subject would be more appropriate. Are you okay? Any injuries?"

"My arms a little banged up, but I'll live."

"You didn't even bandage it," I said, frowning.

"I cleaned it up," he protested.

"Not good enough. Grab me the bandages and I'll wrap it for you," I ordered.

"Bossy," he grumbled, getting up anyway.

He handed me the bandages and pulled off his flannel, resigning himself to the fact I wasn't gonna let him weasel out of this.

"So back to the thing about you liking Dean."

"Are you sure you wanna bring that up while I'm wrapping your arm? I could do some real damage," I warned.

"Oh come on, I'm just trying to help. It's pretty obvious. If it was anyone but Dean they would have noticed."

"I doubt that. Cas wouldn't notice."

"I wouldn't be so sure. He may or may not have asked me a week ago if you were ever going to act on your feelings towards Dean."

"He did not!" I spazzed, accidentally pressing down on the gash.

"Ah! Hey! Take it easy."

"Oops. Sorry," I said sheepishly.

I quickly finished wrapping his arm and taped off the bandages securely.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

"Promise not to hate me?"

I narrowed my eyes at him.

"It depends. What did you do?"

"You can stop pretending you're asleep now Dean."

My eyes widened and I turned to stare at Dean just as he opened his eyes. Oh shit.

"You asshole! You brought it up again because you knew he was awake! What the hell Sam!" I yelled, jumping to my feet as I momentarily forgot about my injured leg. I cried out and tumbled forward. Sam caught my arm and steadied me. I shoved him away, glaring.

"I'm trying to help! You two have been tiptoeing around each other and it's getting annoying! Now you can talk about it and pull your heads out of your asses!" he yelled.

I opened my mouth, ready to let some very colorful insults fly, but Dean cut me off.

"Sammy why don't you go get lunch?" Dean suggested.

Sam nodded, grabbing the keys and storming unceremoniously out of the motel room. I refused to look at Dean, grabbing a book off the bedside table and plunking back on the bed.

"Amy?"

I ignored him, swallowing the lump that had risen in my throat. I didn't want to hear him say he just wanted to be friends. That he didn't want me.

"Look I know I'm not really one to talk about feelings, but I think we need to talk," he tried again.

I just shook my head, hiding my face further behind the book.

"That's it," he muttered, snatching the book from my hands and tossing it across the room.

"Hey! I need that!"

"Not right now you don't. The only thing you need to do right now is sit there and listen to me."

I shook my head and stared down at my hands folded neatly in my lap. Dean sighed. That was never a good sign.

"You don't really want me Amy," he said.

Okay, not what I was expecting. I chanced looking up at him, tilting my head in confusion.

"What?"

"You don't. Not really. I wouldn't be good for you."

"Shouldn't I decide that for myself?" I asked, still kind of amazed he hadn't flat out rejected me.

"Well yeah but, look, I'm bad luck okay? You know about my past and you know how…damaged I am," he said quietly and a very uncharacteristically Dean manner.

"Everyone's damaged Dean."

"And I don't have the best track record with women either. Commitment has never been my strong point. Anything longer than a night or two kinda throws me off."

I busted up laughing. I just couldn't help it. Dean looked at me in surprise.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to laugh, but Dean, come on. That's a cop out and you know it."

"I'm serious here Amy. I'm bad news. And I don't want you to get hurt because of me."

I offered him a soft smile.

"Dean. The world was crumbling around us and Lucifer friggin rose up from hell and brought the apocalypse and you stopped it. That vamp was a second away from breaking my neck and you sliced his head off before he could. You always take first watch so I can sleep and I have never met someone who cares about people so much he's willing to die for all of them. You don't have to worry about me getting hurt Dean, because the safest place for me to be is with you."

He shook his head.

I slid forward, taking his hand in mine and lacing our fingers together, using my free hand to turn his chin to face me.

"Do you like me Dean? I mean do you want to be with me?" I asked.

He nodded.

"Then that's all I care about. You want me and I want you. Isn't that what matters?"

"I can't Amy. I just…I can't," he said, pulling his hand away and getting off the bed.

"Dean wait!"

He went straight for the door, not even bothering to grab his jacket before he left.

Sam came back a few minutes after Dean had gone.

"Hey Amy how'd it—

He cut off when he saw my face, dropping the grocery bags and rushing over to pull me into a hug. I hid my face in his chest and cried, holding onto him for dear life. Somewhere in the middle of my break down Cas popped in and hovered awkwardly, clearly concerned, but not sure what to do. He settled for sitting on my other side and resting a gentle hand on my shoulder.

"You wanna talk about it?" Sam asked when I had calmed down enough to breathe.

"He told me that he can't."

"Can't what?" Cas asked, squinting in confusion.

"Be with me," I said quietly.

"Did he say why?"

"He doesn't want to hurt me. He thinks he's bad luck."

"Wait, so, it's not that he doesn't like you. It's that he just doesn't want to see you hurt because of him?" Sam clarified.

I nodded, sniffling.

"That idiot!"

"Sam he—

"No! Don't defend him Amy. He doesn't deserve it."

"I have to agree with Sam," Cas said solemnly.

"I wasn't going to defend him Sam. I'm pissed off that he can't see how amazing he is. He doesn't understand that he deserves to be happy, so he's pushing me away. That's his prerogative, but I'm not gonna stick around and watch him shove his feelings down and hold everything inside. Knowing that he wants to be with me but won't let himself…I can't handle being around him and only thinking about what could be. I have to go."

They stared at me, unsure of what to say. I got up from the bed, wincing when I put weight on my leg, but ignoring it as I began shoving things into my bag.

"Amy, you can't just leave. Dean's an idiot, but—

"No buts Sam. I'm going. Give me your phones," I ordered.

They surrendered them reluctantly, both dawning confused expressions. Before they could ask what I was doing I quickly deleted my number from both phones.

"What'd you do?" Sam asked as I handed it back to him.

"I deleted my number, but don't worry, I still have yours. If I need you I'll call."

"This isn't a wise decision," Cas warned.

"Look, I need to not be around him for a while. Maybe I'll feel okay enough to come back in a few days, maybe I won't. We'll see. Either way, I'll call," I said, stepping toward the door.

"We can't just let you go," Sam said, blocking my path.

"Please Sam. I have to go," I urged, glaring at him.

"But—

"Sam…please," I said, softer this time.

He sighed and pulled me into a tight hug.

"You call the second you get wherever it is you're going and let me know you're okay," he ordered.

"I will. I promise."

I turned to Cas, tugging him into a slightly awkward, on his end, hug before trudging out the door to my truck.

Dean's POV

I figured it was safe to head back to the hotel after a few hours. Amy would realize I was right and we could move on. I took a deep breath before shoving the key into the lock and pushing the door open. Sam was sitting at the table, looking up to glare at me.

"What's with the bitch face Sammy?" I asked.

"What do you think Dean?"

"Look man, what happened is just between me and Amy. Don't get your panties in a bunch."

"Yeah, sure. So I should just let you fuck up both of your lives?" he asked, anger evident in his voice.

"I'm trying not to fuck up her life!"

"Bullshit Dean! You think blowing her off and pushing her away is gonna keep her form getting hurt?!"

"I'm no good for her okay? I just…I'm poison," I said quietly.

Sam sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

"She loves you Dean, and I know it terrifies you, but you love her too," he said.

"I know."

We stood in silence, neither of us sure what to say at this point. I glanced around the room.

"Uh, where's all her stuff?"

"She left Dean."

My eyes widened.

"She…she what?"

"You heard me man. She left. She decided she couldn't be around you when you didn't want her, so she left," Sam explained sadly.

"But, but I—

"Dean. You're my brother and I would die for you, but you're an idiot. I know you were trying to protect her, but you really screwed up."

"Gee thanks Sammy," I grumbled.

"Hey, I'm just telling the truth. Be glad Cas isn't here. He was ready to kick your ass earlier."

"Cas knows?"

"Yeah and he's pretty protective of her, so I'd watch out next time you see him."

"Where is he now?"

"Checking out a lead, but he'll be back. Figured I'd give you a heads up."

As if on cue Cas "poofed" into the room. His eyes landed on me and next thing I knew his fist was connecting hard with the side of my face.

"Fuck!" I cursed, clutching my injured cheek.

"I warned you," Sam said, looking a little pleased.

Cas pulled his fist back, ready to land another blow, but Sam stopped him

"I think he gets it Cas."

Cas stared at me and cocked an eyebrow. I nodded.

"My apologies Dean, but you were being an assbutt," he grumbled.

"It's all good Cas. I think I needed that. Right, so where did she go?" I asked.

"Uh, we're not sure," Sam said sheepishly.

"You let her leave without finding out where the hell she was going?!"

"Don't get pissed off at me bro. You're the one who shouldn't have given her a reason to leave in the first place. Anyway I told her to call when she gets where she's going."

I opened my mouth to reply just as his phone rang.

"Hello?" he answered. "Oh hey. Everything okay?"

"Is that Amy?" I asked.

He nodded, shushing me.

"Sam, give it to me!"

"Dean I—

"Just give me the damn phone!" I snarled.

"Dean wants to talk to you. Yeah I know, just humor me please."

I got impatient and promptly snatched the phone from him, pressing it to my ear.

"Amy? Where the hell are you?" I asked.

"What do you care Dean?" she snapped.

"I just want to know you're okay."

"I'm fine."

"That's it?"

"What did you expect? I mean you…" she trailed off, her voice cracking slightly.

"Please Amy, just tell me where you are," I said, trying not to sound desperate, because Dean Winchester does not do desperate.

"I can't Dean. I just…I can't."

My heart clenched. She threw my own words back in my face.

"Amy—

"Goodbye Dean."

The line went dead.

"She hung up on me."

"Sorry man," Sam said, giving my shoulder a squeeze.

"Well I could find her," Cas said nonchalantly.

"What?" I asked, turning to face Cas.

"I could find her," he said again.

"You can do that?"

"I'm an angel you ass."

"Right sorry. Any reason you didn't mention that before?"

"I wanted to make sure you realized what you did was wrong. I wasn't going to tell you where she was just so you could go break her heart again. So tell me Dean, what exactly are you planning to do?" he asked seriously.

"I…I'm gonna bring her back. And tell her, um, tell her. I suck at this feelings shit!"

"That you love her," Cas finished.

"Yeah, that."

"Say it."

"What?"

"Dean if you can't even admit it to yourself, how are you going to admit it to her?"

I looked at Sam, silently pleading for help. He shook his head, holding up his hands in defense.

"Don't look at me, I'm with Cas on this one."

"Traitor," I grumbled.

"Say it Dean."

I sighed.

"I want to be with her."

"That's not—

"It's cool Cas. That's more than I thought we'd be able to get out of him," Sam said, jumping in to save my ass.

"I suppose it'll have to do," Cas grudgingly agreed, reaching forward and pressing his fingertips to my forehead.

In a flash I was standing outside a door in a slightly run down motel.

"Damn it Cas, warn a guy," I grumbled before I realized he was nowhere to be seen. Right, flying solo. That makes sense.

I looked at the number on the door, 243, trying to get up the nerve to actually knock. What if she didn't answer when I said who I was? Shaking it off I brought my fist up and knocked hard three times.

"Who is it?" I heard her voice through the door and I'd be lying if I weren't a little relieved she was really okay.

"Room service," I lied.

The doorknob clicked at she unlocked it and pulled it open. Her eyes widened and her mouth fell open.

"Dean."

Amy's POV

I stared dumbly at the man standing in my doorway. A lump was beginning to rise in my throat at the sight of him, but I swallowed it down, focusing on how pissed I was at him.

"What are you doing here?" I asked coldly.

"Can I come in?"

He looked nervous. Maybe that's why I took pity on him and let him in.

"What are you doing here?" I asked again.

"I came to bring you back."

"Back? Dean, I've been gone for less than a day. That may be long enough for you to move on, but not me. I don't rebound that fast."

Hurt flickered across his face, but he quickly covered it up, frowning at me. I resisted the urge to throw my arms around him and hold him as tight as I could.

"I know you're pissed at me, but I'm really trying here. You know me, feelings aren't my thing."

"Oh believe me, I get that, and yet you didn't seem to have any trouble telling me you didn't want me."

"I never said that!"

"You might as well have Dean! I can't Amy. I just can't. Who says that?! You think you're so damaged. That you have nothing to offer. That all you would do is hurt me. Well congratulations Dean, you were right. You did hurt me. Because you're too afraid to let anyone in. To let yourself have anything you want. To let yourself be happy!" I shouted,

"Yes! Yes okay! Yes to everything you just said! I am scared! You know why? Because it's scary Amy. I have tried my hardest to keep people from getting in. To keep them from getting to close to me. Because I don't want them to see how fucked up and broken I am."

His hands were balled into fists and I could see his bottom lip start to tremble, but he pushed through it.

"But then you showed up. No matter how hard I tried to keep you out, you got in. You've seen past all the tough guy bullshit and for some reason you're still here. You haven't run away screaming from catching a glimpse of the real me. But I keep thinking it's not real, because I don't deserve to be as happy as I am when I'm with you."

I was crying by the time he finished, unable to hold back soft sobs as I reached out and tentatively brushed my fingers over his hand, still curled into a fist. He flinched at the contact, but didn't pull away. I stared up at him through watery eyes, bringing up a hand to touch his cheek. I paused.

"What happened to your face?"

"Cas got pissed at me for making you leave," he explained.

I nodded, leaning up and pressing a gentle kiss to his injured cheek, before pulling back and looking him right in the eye.

"I don't care that you're broken. I don't care that you're bad at expressing yourself. And I don't care that you think you don't deserve to be happy because you do. You deserve everything," I whispered the last part before pulling away. I said what I needed to say. It was up to him whether or not he made the next move.

His hands gripped my hips and he yanked me forward into a bone-crushing embrace. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him back just as fiercely. He hid his face in my hair and pressed his lips close to my ear.

"I'm so sorry."

"I know," I said, my voice muffled against his neck.

"I need you," he murmured.

I pulled back slightly, cupped his face in my hands and kissed him. One hand tangled in my hair, the other squeezing my hip, he kissed back. I poured everything I had into that kiss, refusing to pull back even when my lungs were straining for air, kissing him breathless. We pulled back from each other and I tried to remember how to breathe properly.

"I—

He started.

I shook my head, pressing my fingers to his lips before pushing his jacket off his shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. He looked at me in confusion. I smiled, gripping the front of his t-shirt and shoving him hard against the wall. He groaned in pain, but seemed to understand as his hands pulled at the hem of my shirt.

It was a flurry of clothes being shed and trying to keep as much contact with each other as possible in the process. I remember being pressed against the wall and then I was on my back on the bed with Dean laying over me.

Everything was so fast, but at the same time it was slow. It was too much and not enough. Through the kisses and gentle touches and the feeling of skin against skin, it felt like we were all that was left of the world. Everything could have been falling apart around us and I wouldn't have known. He was like rain after a drought. And shade on a hot summer day.

He was slow and soft and sweet. Not the way I had expected him to be. Somewhere in the middle he had found my hand and laced our fingers together and as we caught our breath, with me curled into his side, he still hadn't let go. There was no awkward period where neither of us knew what to say. It was the comfortable kind of silence you only get with that one person in your life who makes everything better. Dean was the first to break it.

"Amy I, um, I mean, I…I love, um—

"I know Dean. I love you too."