Disclaimer: Not mine, just playing.
AN: Episode begins before "Shattered". Events following "Shattered" are AU.
Q-rious
Kathryn Janeway strode into her quarters, and as soon as the doors had swished closed behind her, she let her captain's façade drop. She was incredibly tired, had had an exceptionally trying week, and was beginning to feel more than a little depressed. Worse, she knew that her first officer had noticed her behavior, and was no doubt en route to her quarters at this very moment. She rubbed her face with both hands, tried to shake the kinks out of her shoulders, and begin to pace aimlessly around her room.
Why was she so unsettled right now? Because you've been trying to attain the unattainable for seven years, and it's wearing you out, her subconscious replied, with uncanny accuracy. I'm not worn out, she argued back, I'm just tired, and – she realized the absurdity of what she was doing, and stopped. However, she immediately began again, with I've been trying to get us home for seven years. And I have no idea when or if we're ever going to make it. If I only knew how long it would take us, I could forge ahead, with that hope to press on, or if I knew we weren't going to make it, then we could find a planet and build a home. I could be content, I know I could, it's just this damned feeling of limbo, trying to juxtapose Alpha Quadrant and Delta Quadrant, home on Earth or home on Voyager.
It's like..she had a sudden flash of insight, it's just like me and Chakotay. I can at least admit to myself that I am in love with him. And I know he's in love with me. We can't have a relationship with each other while on board ship, and we don't want to have a relationship with anyone else, so we're just stuck. Limbo. I wish I knew about him too, about the outcome of our relationship...I wish we could have a relationship...God, he's so beautiful... her thoughts drifted into decidedly less introspective veins.
She did not notice the flash of white light behind her, and jumped when a silky smooth voice spoke in the silence.
"Ask and it shall be given," it said. Kathryn's spine went rigid.
"What are you doing here, Q?" she replied in icy tones, as she turned to face him.
"Kathy, you were in such turmoil. How could I, in good conscience, have not come to help you??"
"I don't need your kind of help!" Kathryn realized she was speaking through clenched teeth, and tried to relax her jaw. It was not easy. His mere presence set her on edge.
"Oh but this is such a little bit of help." He smiled and held up a thumb and forefinger, with a miniscule amount of space between them, but she was unmoved. He seemed equally unfazed by the Janeway death glare.
"Thirty-seven years."
His clipped phrase startled her.
"What?"
"That's how long it's going to take Voyager to get home. Thirty-seven years. That would make you....82, I believe. Such a pity humans don't have longer life spans."
"Q, I don't understand..." she backed away from him slightly, hating herself for giving into him, but she was desperate for information.
"You were in here, wondering how long it would take you to get home." He spoke slowly, as if to a small child. "You were thinking that you could go on, if only you knew that information." The last phrase was spoken in a sarcastic singsong.
"Q, you have no right to intrude into my private thoughts."
"Kathy, once again, you get sidetracked onto issues that aren't relevant."
"I happen to find privacy extremely relevant," she said haughtily. "I think that—"
"I can tell you about you and your long-suffering first officer too," he cut in, knowing that would bring her to a halt.
"I don't want to know the future, Q. Not really. It would be like cheating."
"And 'cheaters never prosper', right, Kathy?" he cocked an eyebrow at her. "Really, you humans are far too hung up on principles. You're getting just like stuffy old Captain Picard; and I thought you were much more fun!"
"If not, it is a failing that I am proud of," she answered, but she wasn't very emphatic about it. She felt a headache beginning above her eyes.
"Okay, Kathy, I have a proposition for you."
"I'm not having your baby, Q."
"I assure you, one Q-child is plenty. I don't think I could handle another one." He ran a hand shakily through his hair. Kathryn could not restrain a grin, taking a moment of evil pleasure from seeing a Q overwhelmed by something.
"And you call yourself omnipotent?"
"I am omnipotent, but I don't have unfailing unconditional patience."
"That much is obvious," her retort was classic Janeway dryness. Q waved his hands impatiently, growing tired of the conversation.
"Your diversion is not going to work. I came to help you, not to talk about me. If I showed you one of the many potential paths you and Chakotay could take, and what would happen, that wouldn't be cheating. It wouldn't be showing you the future, it would only be the potential future. Your principles could remain intact. How you acted would be up to you." He looked her over for a moment, and muttered, "Not that I hold out much hope."
"I—"she started to protest, and then stopped, "if I agree, will you go away?"
"You have my word." He replied, with a magnanimous smile and a theatrical bow. Before she could voice her doubts about the veracity of his word, they flashed out of her quarters.
AN: Episode begins before "Shattered". Events following "Shattered" are AU.
Q-rious
Kathryn Janeway strode into her quarters, and as soon as the doors had swished closed behind her, she let her captain's façade drop. She was incredibly tired, had had an exceptionally trying week, and was beginning to feel more than a little depressed. Worse, she knew that her first officer had noticed her behavior, and was no doubt en route to her quarters at this very moment. She rubbed her face with both hands, tried to shake the kinks out of her shoulders, and begin to pace aimlessly around her room.
Why was she so unsettled right now? Because you've been trying to attain the unattainable for seven years, and it's wearing you out, her subconscious replied, with uncanny accuracy. I'm not worn out, she argued back, I'm just tired, and – she realized the absurdity of what she was doing, and stopped. However, she immediately began again, with I've been trying to get us home for seven years. And I have no idea when or if we're ever going to make it. If I only knew how long it would take us, I could forge ahead, with that hope to press on, or if I knew we weren't going to make it, then we could find a planet and build a home. I could be content, I know I could, it's just this damned feeling of limbo, trying to juxtapose Alpha Quadrant and Delta Quadrant, home on Earth or home on Voyager.
It's like..she had a sudden flash of insight, it's just like me and Chakotay. I can at least admit to myself that I am in love with him. And I know he's in love with me. We can't have a relationship with each other while on board ship, and we don't want to have a relationship with anyone else, so we're just stuck. Limbo. I wish I knew about him too, about the outcome of our relationship...I wish we could have a relationship...God, he's so beautiful... her thoughts drifted into decidedly less introspective veins.
She did not notice the flash of white light behind her, and jumped when a silky smooth voice spoke in the silence.
"Ask and it shall be given," it said. Kathryn's spine went rigid.
"What are you doing here, Q?" she replied in icy tones, as she turned to face him.
"Kathy, you were in such turmoil. How could I, in good conscience, have not come to help you??"
"I don't need your kind of help!" Kathryn realized she was speaking through clenched teeth, and tried to relax her jaw. It was not easy. His mere presence set her on edge.
"Oh but this is such a little bit of help." He smiled and held up a thumb and forefinger, with a miniscule amount of space between them, but she was unmoved. He seemed equally unfazed by the Janeway death glare.
"Thirty-seven years."
His clipped phrase startled her.
"What?"
"That's how long it's going to take Voyager to get home. Thirty-seven years. That would make you....82, I believe. Such a pity humans don't have longer life spans."
"Q, I don't understand..." she backed away from him slightly, hating herself for giving into him, but she was desperate for information.
"You were in here, wondering how long it would take you to get home." He spoke slowly, as if to a small child. "You were thinking that you could go on, if only you knew that information." The last phrase was spoken in a sarcastic singsong.
"Q, you have no right to intrude into my private thoughts."
"Kathy, once again, you get sidetracked onto issues that aren't relevant."
"I happen to find privacy extremely relevant," she said haughtily. "I think that—"
"I can tell you about you and your long-suffering first officer too," he cut in, knowing that would bring her to a halt.
"I don't want to know the future, Q. Not really. It would be like cheating."
"And 'cheaters never prosper', right, Kathy?" he cocked an eyebrow at her. "Really, you humans are far too hung up on principles. You're getting just like stuffy old Captain Picard; and I thought you were much more fun!"
"If not, it is a failing that I am proud of," she answered, but she wasn't very emphatic about it. She felt a headache beginning above her eyes.
"Okay, Kathy, I have a proposition for you."
"I'm not having your baby, Q."
"I assure you, one Q-child is plenty. I don't think I could handle another one." He ran a hand shakily through his hair. Kathryn could not restrain a grin, taking a moment of evil pleasure from seeing a Q overwhelmed by something.
"And you call yourself omnipotent?"
"I am omnipotent, but I don't have unfailing unconditional patience."
"That much is obvious," her retort was classic Janeway dryness. Q waved his hands impatiently, growing tired of the conversation.
"Your diversion is not going to work. I came to help you, not to talk about me. If I showed you one of the many potential paths you and Chakotay could take, and what would happen, that wouldn't be cheating. It wouldn't be showing you the future, it would only be the potential future. Your principles could remain intact. How you acted would be up to you." He looked her over for a moment, and muttered, "Not that I hold out much hope."
"I—"she started to protest, and then stopped, "if I agree, will you go away?"
"You have my word." He replied, with a magnanimous smile and a theatrical bow. Before she could voice her doubts about the veracity of his word, they flashed out of her quarters.