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Chapter 1: He's Doomed
Lord Voldemort cleared his throat. "We are gathered here today, in hopes of finding a new headquarters." His followers leaned in close so that no one could overhear their conversation.
"But why are we gathered at Wal-Mart?" asked the small, high-pitched voice of Peter Pettigrew. Another old woman had just run over his long, black robes with a squeaky shopping cart.
"Because, Wormtail," the wizard with red eyes and pale skin answered impatiently, "this is a place where we can just blend in with the crowd…no one will even notice us."
"Right," Severus Snape said sarcastically. "No one would ever notice a group of hooded men huddled together in the lawn and garden center…" Voldemort's slit-like pupils narrowed.
"Are you mocking me, Severus?" he asked in a dangerous voice.
"Never, my Lord," Snape replied. "Never…"
"Well, clearly you've never been to Wal-Mart at two in the morning – we fit in nicely. Anyway," the Dark Lord continued, "this time we need a better headquarters, one with properly working appliances. We don't want another one of those dishwasher incidences…" He paused and everyone shuddered. "So, does anyone have a suggestion?"
"Ooh, ooh! Pick me, my Lord, pick me!" Lucius Malfoy was jumping up and down with his hand high in the air. Voldemort rolled his eyes.
"Yes, Lucius?"
"Let's use my house! It has spacious bedrooms, a wrap-around porch, and 5 acres of woods so we can play Spotlight!" Voldemort pondered this as only a Dark Lord can ponder and sighed.
"As much as I love Spotlight, Lucius, I don't think we can use your house. Your son, Draco, will obviously know we are there. Once he returns to Hogwarts, Dumbledore could easily use Legilimency and discover our plans. No, we need a place that no one, especially Dumbledore, would think to look, somewhere in a Muggle neighborhood, somewhere like…" He looked up at Snape and grinned.
"What?" Snape asked curtly. Then it suddenly donned on him. "Oh no. Definitely not. No way. Don't even think about it." But the other Death Eaters were starring and grinning at him too, and he knew there was no point in arguing. He hung his head low. He was doomed.
Hope you enjoyed this! I really appreciate reviews! Up next is Voldemort's attempt to find a good cell phone plan.