AN: In response to bookwormofmassiveproportions's drabble prompt. Liked it as soon as I saw it, even though I hadn't slept for about 20 hours I started writing straight away XD Enjoy! I'm posting up another one after this – it was the original I had done for this prompt, then realized I had completely forgotten about the eggs XD

Disclaimer: Don't own Hedwig/Hermes, though I wouldn't mind having an owl. That'd be very interesting ^^

"Let's hide these eggs in with Hedwig."

"No, give it to Hermes."

"Hermes is a boy, you dolt."

"Well Hedwig is a self-respecting owl who wouldn't get herself into a mess like that!"

"…And Hermes does? The old guy does get around. Not to mention an owly SEX CHANGE!"

Ron turned red. "Stop saying stuff like that. Come on. The old bird'll have a heartattack."

"Ron, he's close enough to it already. Just put it in with Hedwig."

"Alright, alright…"

A very loud, indignant squawk. Ron leapt back, yelping.

"OW! She bit me!"

Raucous laughter.

"Stupid bird."

Hermes flopped off his perch, and glided (somewhat) over to inspect what was going on. To the others' surprise, he perched beside the nest preoccupied by the snowy owl. He ruffled his weathered feathers, looking proud.

The three boys leaned in closer. Their jaws dropped at the sight, then backed away, coughing as they inhaled wood dust, feathers, and a lot of unmentionables in a surprised intake of breath.

"Er…"

"What are those?"

"Mate, I think they're eggs."

"You think? Are those eyes? What else would they be?

"But I didn't put them in there."

"Ron. Mum didn't put the eggs in bird nests for you to find."

"How do we explain this? When a mummy bird and a daddy bird love each other very much – "

"SHUT UP! I KNOW ALREADY! JEEZ!"

"Aww. Your big brothers were looking forward to teaching you about that valuable life lesson."

"The bit about where babies come from? Or the bit about where Harry's owl's eggs have come from, when there's only one other owl here her size?"

…

"This is fantastic."

"Can't wait to see Harry's face."

"Percy'll be right pleased with this."

"Knew he left behind the featherball for a reason!"

"That bloody genius! I knew he had it in him somewhere."

The twins hi-fived. Standing between Fred and George, Ron wondered how Harry would react to his precious owl having been knocked up by Percy's.

Hedwig, miffed at the crowd, turned her back on owl and human alike, settling back over her three little eggs, neatly in a row.

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