I do not own EUReKA.

The Depths of Love

Chapter 1: As Waves Have Peaks and Valleys, So To Shall Our Lives

"Excuse me."

Frustrated, Allison let out a long deep sigh as Jack curtly requested she move to one side. She had been blocking his path from the bathroom to the bedroom in an attempt to get him to acknowledge her existence. Frankly, she was fed up with his attitude, but she guessed she shouldn't complain. At least he was talking to her...sorta. No, it wasn't in complete sentences, but she'd take what she could get. Jack hadn't spoken a word to her since late last afternoon. Following their mutual assent, she thought they'd come to an understanding. Apparently, it seemed she was the only one who was ready to let go and move forward. How the shiny facade of their relationship, which the outside world saw as perfect had tarnished so quickly, she did not know. Yesterday what was supposed to be a chance for her to get away and finally have some peace and quiet –even if only for work purposes, ended up being one of the worst days of her life. Since the incident, Jack had been giving her the silent treatment. This was the first time in over fourteen hours that he'd uttered a word to her, unkind or otherwise. Oh, he was civil when he needed to be, but those warm remarks weren't intended for her.

Lately her life had become a circus...and not the amusing kind. Having dealt with a second abduction and being placed in a computer generated reality where she'd been made to believe she'd missed out on four years of her children growing up was painful enough, however, the lone event that broke her was the belief that Jack had moved on and with Jo of all people. Not only that, but it appeared she had taken her place in her kids life. When she and the other Astreaus crew members were rescued from being held captive by the Consortium, she wasn't the only survivor who'd a hard time coping.

That had been weeks ago and the adjustment phase was moving slowly. But to top off the chaos of her everyday Eureka existence, she was now surrounded by uninvited guests – uninvited by her that is.

There was Andy who had been spending every night at their house so that he could be with S.A.R.A.H and Fargo who was camped out on their couch due to a holographic Holly's occupancy. Her other button pusher was Jo, who as it seemed was the only person oblivious to the goings inside the faux Eureka. She had unknowingly been a thorn in her side ever since. Allison admits now that her anger was misplaced, but when Jo did find out, her reaction to the situation didn't help matters. Suddenly she began acting as if she'd had a thing for Jack all along. Allison never let on that she saw the longing looks or awkward behavior when she was around Jack because she didn't want to seem like the crazy one. Allison started to come to terms with the truth that what she'd experienced was fake, but Jo's presence in her home nonetheless brought all of that to a screeching halt.

When Allison swapped conciseness with Jack, Jo confessed to what she assumed was Jack that she'd thought about the two of them together, unaware that it had in actuality been Allison she talking to. Allison eventually apologized to Jo for not confessing who she was, but that didn't mean she'd resolved the harsh feelings she still had toward her. Sure, there had been other problems in the ensuing weeks, but that was the catalyst that set in motion the issue she and Jack were having now.

So, when the chance for a moment of solitude presented itself, she couldn't pass up the opportunity. On her way out, she slipped and told Jack that she'd yet to tell her family about the wedding when he kept pressing her to set a date. That's when she knew she'd fucked up...big time. He had that expression on his face. The one where he looked like a lost baby bird and what had been the perfect chance for her to explain herself, she let slip away. That might have been the end of it but apparently Jack had set up a surprise romantic lunch for them in the submersible.

They never were able to get in the mood and when he flat out asked why she didn't mention it to her loved ones, her passive response left him cold. Upset, when he suggested that maybe they should do this at another time, she naturally assumed he meant getting married. Oh, how wrong she was. He immediately ended their date, leaving her to finish her work undisturbed. After he'd unceremoniously departed, well before their completed meal, Allison made a conscious effort to put the episode out of her mind so she could concentrate on the task in front of her. It wouldn't do her any good to dwell on it at that precise moment anyway. Besides, they both needed a cooling off period.

When she'd returned that evening, Jack had still yet to arrive home from work. She figured he'd be in soon, so in an attempt to smooth things over, she had S.A.R.A.H take the night off and she made his favorite dinner. They had just seated themselves down to eat, Fargo included, when he came strolling in. It was obvious that his disposition was unchanged. She had learned to read his emotions by staring only into his eyes. Instead of the individual attention he usually gave everyone, this time it was a blanket greeting. Well, that wasn't exactly true. One person was able to break the facade and all she needed to do was utter two simple words.

"Hi daddy."

He lit up like a Christmas tree which was visible not only in his smile, but in his eyes, which seconds ago had been dour to say the least. There was something about that innocently unaware grin of Jenna's that always seemed to melt his reserve. Scooping her up in his arms, then adding a quick twirl for affect, he kissed her cheek.

"Hi sweetie."

Allison wasn't surprised that he made an effort when talking to Jenna, Kevin, Fargo and hell, even Holly. So basically, everyone but her. Allison tried to engage him in conversation only to be rebuffed. He tried not to make it obvious, but in a room full of geniuses, it didn't go unnoticed for long. That was probably the quietest meal they'd ever had at that table. While Jack sat at the head, Allison faced him, Jenna to her left, Fargo on her right with Kevin next to Jack. Each attempt to engage him caused the other occupants at the table sit in soundless contemplation. It was as if they were witness to a tennis match as their eyes darted between the two. Kevin seemingly fed up with the stillness in room commented on the mood.

"Okay, this is weird. What's going on?"

"Nothing." Simultaneously she and Jack answered, their eyes briefly meeting.

Kevin refrained from asking anymore questions. Heck, he knew when to leave well enough alone.

Their meal complete, Jack swiftly rose from the table and stating to no one in particular, said he was heading over to Henry's and left out. That was last Allison saw of him until two o'clock that morning.

Jack hotfooted it out of the house just in time. Since finding out from Allison this morning that she'd failed to tell her family about him, it had been an exercise in self-control in order to keep his emotions in check. The range he'd been through in such a short time left his confused. While he'd told them he was leaving for Henry's, what he did in truth seemed out of character for him and something he didn't want to share with anyone. So, he took the short ride to the secluded top of Rutherford ridge, so named after Ernest Rutherford the father of nuclear physics. There, he parked his jeep near the edge and climbed on the hood. This was an activity he carried out since Tess left for Australia...well in their old timeline anyway. He found it peaceful to just lay back and stargaze. It was one of the positives he took from his relationship with Tess. It allowed him time to gather his thoughts without the distraction of work, town or people in general.

Hands behind his head, he thought about the events of the day. What he'd hoped would be a romantic surprise for the woman he loved, ended up shaking him to his core. Before she ran off this morning, he was shocked to find out she'd yet to tell her family about the two of them getting married. That he could deal with, but there was a lot more to the story than that. Her revelation was definitely a shot to his self-esteem. Setting that aside, he decided to give her a chance to explain herself. So, once in the submarine, a luxurious meal set out before them, he waited and waited to no avail. When she didn't broach the subject, he knew he'd have to confront her. The ensuing conversation did nothing to dissuade his fears. If anything, it made them ten times worse. Since then, he'd remained in his head. Going from happiness that he was able to wake up next to Allison not only on a daily basis, but for the rest of their lives. Excitement not only that they were a couple but she'd accepted his marriage proposal. Sadness at her admission this morning. Scared when she so easily agreed to his wanting to do this another time – incidentally what she thought was to be their union when he was only talking about lunch. Then finally, anger that she'd keep him and her family in the dark this entire time. Right now the conflux of his right and left brains thoughts left him feeling empty. He was battered and bruised not physically, but emotionally. The most frightening part was that he felt he'd been here before, only that time had been with Abby. The mistrust, the secrets, so much anger. He knew he couldn't hide from his problems let alone stay away all night, so unaware of the time he climbed in his jeep and drove home.

He entered quietly so he wouldn't wake anyone in the house. S.A.R.A.H was surely occupied by Andy, Holly's program placed in stasis mode and Fargo was fast asleep on the couch. He didn't have to worry about the kids whom he was sure had conked out hours ago. His singular worry was Allie. He tiptoed into their bedroom so as not to disturb her. He peered over and saw her dozing on her side of the bed. He crossed to his bureau, removed his watch and laid it noiselessly on top. As he began to pull his T-shirt up over his head, she spoke to him, freezing him in place.

"Jack, where were you tonight?"

Jack closed his eyes, his breathing uncontrolled as he tried to keep himself in check and when he didn't answer her, she continued.

"I called Henry because I was worried when you didn't come home."

Jack could hear the concern in her voice. He knew she wasn't trying to be nosey or overbearing, but distressed by the fact she couldn't locate him and his whereabouts had been unknown. He knew she could have found him if she really wanted to, hell, there weren't many places you could go for privacy in Eureka where someone couldn't find you anyway.

"Jack...where did you go?"

Her state clearly tormented as to his behavior, right now he really didn't care. Without even bothering to account for the time spent away, he stormed off into the bathroom merely offering her one word, "Out!"

Allison sat on the edge of the bed once he closed the bathroom door behind him and sobbed quietly. How had this all go so wrong? She had to fix this but he didn't seem willing to relent in any way, shape, or form. Yes, she knew he could be stubborn, but to not even give her the chance to elucidate was unlike him. So, she decided to wait for him. If he didn't want to talk, that was fine. He would just have to listen. He emerged from the shower thirty minutes later and crawled into bed, shrinking far onto his side.

It would appear he didn't even want to be near her, so Allison rolled so that she faced his back, she reached out to caress his forearm, then thought wiser and pulled back.

She called out to him softly, "Jack."

Still nothing.

"Jack. Say something, please."

He remained staunch in his refusal to acknowledge her.

"Okay, you don't have to talk, but I need you to listen."

Allison eked closer to him, only a heartbeat away.

"Jack, I don't know how to explain this to you. I understand why you're upset with me, but you have to see it from my point of view. It's just that everything's been moving at warp speed since we've returned. I came back still unsure of my reality, but I was never unsure of you. What if I hadn't come back, don't you see that the actuality of the predicted future would have come true. It was frightening to know that the world had moved on without us. Your world without me. Can't you see my confusion? The kids were already with you, Jo had come back to Eureka and the government were about to give up on us. If it wasn't for you, Kevin and Henry, I don't know what may have happened. My head realizes it had only been a month since our departure, but my heart doesn't know any better."

And even after her admission, from him, nothing. Allison sensed he felt her testament was complete bullshit. She acknowledged that if she'd been on the receiving end of a statement like that, she wouldn't have believed it either. It wasn't as if she was trying to keep the truth from him, the real reason just seemed stupid and foolish. That was one fear she wasn't ready to bring to light. The reasons were hers and hers alone to know.

She could tell he was still awake, more than likely starting straight ahead, deciding on what action to take. Allison didn't think she could wait that long. She needed to know now.

"Jack, I love you."

He didn't answer. He always answered. That's when panic set in. She couldn't breathe. Allison felt as if she had a vice take hold of her chest and squeeze. Why wouldn't he respond in kind? No matter what was going on between them, since they'd become a couple, if either said I love you, you could be sure the other would return the sentiment. In a last ditch attempt, she reached out for him again, this time her palm lay flat against his back.

"Jack, I can take you being mad at me, but please tell me you still love me. Jack, please...say you love me. Please."

She could barely get the last words as her tears started to flow. She turned, her body shaking uncontrollably. Curling into a ball, she compressed her body tight, the fetal position providing her with a sense of comfort. She didn't know how long she lay there crying for him, but his strong hand upon her midsection brought her back from the depths of despair.

He never spoke a word as he pulled her close and enveloped her in his arms. Allison craned her head toward him ready to apologize once again, but before she uttered a syllable, she was as overtaken as his mouth covered hers. Crawling a top her, he kissed her passionately. Allison knew exactly what this was and making love it wasn't.

Though he was angry at her, so pissed that to say the words she wanted to hear felt like a betrayal from his lips, he showed her. There was no sweet kisses, no exploration of the body, mind or soul. He appeared to be taking out his anger and frustration with her in this one act. No, he wasn't hurting her or forcing her to do anything against her will, but Allison could feel the tension between them. A willing participant, Allison grasped his head between her hands and kissed him hard. There was a gnashing of lips, teeth and tongues. He bit at her neck wantonly and with great need. When he reached down and pulled off his sleep pants, Allison yanked her panties down in kind.

She felt his member pressed against her thigh, the solid weight and rigid form caused her to pre-ejaculate. She didn't care right now, he was with her. He didn't whisper sweet nothings in her ear as he often did when they made love. No light feathery kisses on her eyelids, no stroke of the tongue over her lobe. He only grunted as he pounded forcefully inside of her. Bracing himself, he leaned back onto his knees and wrapped her legs round his waist and fucked her...hard. Hands grasping the headboard for extra leverage, his breathing began wild and erratic. Each thrust unsynchronized as he gripped her hips, pulling himself inside of her as far as he could go. He seemed intent on pleasing himself tonight and when he came, he collapsed on her, his face tucked in the space between her neck and shoulder-blade.

Allison wished he hadn't stopped. She wanted more, she wanted to be punished. If it made him feel better then she would do it for him. His breathing back to normal he rose slightly to look in her eyes and what she saw crushed her. It wasn't anger nor sadness. It was a dispiritedness. It was if he had lost all faith not only in them, but her. Silently he crawled from over her and back over to his side and faced the wall.

Allison started at the ceiling most of the night unable to sleep. She didn't cry again that night, but what she did do was go over in her mind what she would say to him in the morning. She had make her case, only then would he understand. So she waited until he stirred that morning before she began her plea.

"Jack, I can't take it anymore."

She knew he was awake but he declined to address her. Yes, she was wrong but she wouldn't put up with this any longer.

"Dammit Jack, talk to me!"

"What do you want me say?"

"Say you don't understand, say you're disappointed, say you hate me."

Jack turned to face her, a hurt look on his face.

"Don't you dare use those words. You know I don't hate you. I could never you hate you."

"Then have a conversation with me. Give me a chance to explain."

"I've heard your explanation and frankly I think it's crap."

"It's the truth, I..."

"No! It's not!"

Allison was taken aback. He never yelled at with her. He rose out of bed and stood near the bedside table.

"Allie, I'm so tired of rehashing the same issues."

He'd stung her. He appeared at wits end.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it that way. Allie, I'm not trying to dismiss your fears or what you went through, but it seems like no matter what I do, it's never good enough. You keep bringing up Jo, and I told you there's nothing going on. There never was and never will be. It hurts that you don't trust me and there comes a point where I have to believe that...it's me."

Shaking head vigorously she wanted to squash the notion. "No, no, no, no, no."

"What else am I to think then. I love you Allison. I would go to the ends of the universe and back for you, to find you. I don't know what to do anymore. I can understand if you were unsure and didn't want to tell your family about us but, you couldn't even confide in me. That's what hurt the most."

His eyes glistening, his voice cracked as he tried to hold back the tears.

"I know I'm not smart enough..."

"Jack, that doesn't mean anything to me, you know that."

"Allie, I can't."

Mindlessly ticking at the tabletop with his fingers, eyes diverted,mouth contorted, he continued.

"Um...I think I'm going stay at the station-house tonight. I'll be home for dinner and won't leave until after the kids go to sleep, but I need to be by myself."

Allison leapt from their bed, clutching her arms around him. She looked up to him, her soft brown eyes implored he reconsider.

Jack couldn't even look at her because he knew he would lose it and be unable to stop the flow of tears.

"I never thought that loving you would hurt. I've done everything. You should have told me you were having second thoughts."

"Jack I wasn't having second thoughts."

"Allison, please I need time."

With that, Allison released him. He seemed disenchanted with her at the moment and just as she had found herself at a crossroads, he was now in a similar place. She would give him his space he needed.

Somehow, someway she would make this right. She had to.

Next - Chapter 2: It's Never a Question of Will It Flood, It's a Question of When Is High Tide

Author's Note: What can I say, I like to bring the drama. I thought this scene could have gone any which way but I am ecstatic with how it played out on the show. There's just not enough time in a sixty minute episode to delve deeply into each characters emotions. With this story, I want to highlight some of the omissions I would have liked to see, this being the first of many. I know reading this may be a bit hard, but I hope you trust in my writing and go along for the ride. I would really like to hear your thoughts on this so, please review. Enjoy.