Author Note: Victoria here, I've been working on this since the end of November so if the writing style seems to jump around a bit that's why. I hope you enjoy and all writers love feedback. Hint hint hint…
Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Title credit goes to Green Day.
Warnings: Cousincest, mention of alcohol use, one use of the F-bomb and slightly mature themes.
It was one year; one year of love, heartbreak and lies. One year of passion started on a mid-September night in a clearing at the edge of the forbidden forest. It was a girl trying to forget and a boy trying to hide. But it was so much more than that.
Lucy had had a bad week. Teachers were stressing about OWLs. Her schedule was full to bursting, Molly wasn't speaking to her and the boys were being more moronic than usual. So Lucy did what Lucy always did when her world was spinning out of control and she had no way of stopping it. She strung glittering bubbles in the trees, wore a light green dress that made her feel like a princess, and tried to pretend, if only for a few hours, that she was something special.
Fred was hiding. It wasn't the best option he had to admit but it was much better than watching Lysander groping Davina in the common room. And there was also the fact that he didn't particularly want to be found when all the teachers' hair turned into multicolored wigs.
Maybe it was fate or cosmic energy or just plain luck that he was wandering near the forbidden forest pinning after a girl that didn't care for him, that he just so happened to glance over at the particular clearing, that he just so happened to notice the bright blue bubbles in the trees and the girl dancing below them with tears streaming down her face. Maybe it was luck.
"Lucy," he asked, weaving his way through the trees. This couldn't be Lucy his whirlwind of a cousin, the one who covered his clothes in poison ivy when he made her mad when she was five.
"Fred?" she wheeled around dashing tears from her eyes.
"Are you alright Lucy?" As soon as the words were out of his mouth he felt like idiot of the year. She was crying in the middle of the forest of course she wasn't alright.
Lucy hesitated for a moment before answering. She didn't want to admit how upset she was, she hated showing weakness. On the other hand here she was crying like a three year old who just dropped her lollipop in the sandbox. "I've been better," she finally whispered.
Obviously, he thought but didn't say it. "What's wrong?"
She walked over to a fallen log and started pacing, her toes clinging to the mossy bark while she ran her fingertips through the leaves over her head. "Nothing, I'm fine."
"And I'm Merlin," he said watching her progress across the tree trunk. One thing Fred never realized, or never wanted to admit anyway, was just how pretty Lucy was. And it wasn't the type of pretty that you associate with your cousin. It was the type of pretty that lead to kisses and feelings that really shouldn't be there. It was the pretty that set the stars on fire and turned the world to ash.
Lucy stopped pacing and turned around to meet his eyes. She was instantly flooded with a hundred emotions and she knew that none of them should be directed at her. "Don't look at me like that Fred." She whispered stepping off the log. "Don't look at me like I'm the greatest thing you've ever seen. Like I'm some fucking goddess that could save you by touching your hand."
Fred took three steps forward and suddenly his lips were pressed against hers. "Don't tell me what to do Lucy," he whispered against her lips, "that never works."
Lucy froze for a moment before kissing him back. It was wrong and she knew that but she couldn't bring herself to care because this was Fred and she was upset and, for once, she felt amazing.
They'll think back on this later; their first time together. They'll remember lips and teeth and hands all over. They'll remember joy and ecstasy tinged with the horror of what have I done. They'll remember the feeling of being love 100% for the first time in their lives.
Their weeks pass in a blur of secret kisses, broom closets, and the lucky bed in the Room of Requirement. It's not the best of relationships and yes, Fred still wants Davina and yes Lucy is still hoping that Riley will finally see her as something special but for now they are loved and that is enough.
Christmas comes and Dominique finds out but she doesn't tell because she has enough going on right now without dragging them down with her. They're more careful after that but some people are getting suspicious.
They go back to school to the realization that he has NEWTs and she has OWLs and they have no idea what they're going to do. One night, behind the silenced curtains of his four poster bed, he whispers 'maybe we should stop.' And with those four words Lucy's entire world crumples because yes, this isn't right but it gives her comfort which is something she desperately needs even though she has no idea why.
"Why," she whispers, soft lips pressed against his chest. She realizes that he has no idea what those four simple words did to her and she has never felt so alone.
"We're a disaster Luce." He knew it was true but he didn't wasn't her to agree. She was his drug addictive and wrong but so beautifully sweet.
She sat up to look at him, "so what if we are Fred. We are two people doing something that has been done a million times before us and will be done a million times after us. Let them care because damn it, I don't and neither do you!"
At that moment Fred was sure he was in love. Here was a beautiful girl, caring and passionate and she was defending them. He smiled as he pressed his lips against her hair. "Just a thought."
"Well stop thinking that. I don't care if it's wrong and neither do you." She was so sick of the little voice in the back of her head saying 'What would Skeeter say about the minister's daughter screwing her cousin.' What would her parents say, his? The savior of the wizarding world. Their reactions wouldn't be good and now he was reminding her of the fact. "What time is it?" She had to get the voice in the back of her head to shut up and the vodka buried in the bottom of her trunk would be perfect for that. She wasn't a fan of excessive drinking but all rules have their exception.
He glanced at the alarm clock on his bedside table. "Just a little after midnight; you still have time." He flipped her over so he was lying on top of her. "Care to entertain me?"
She rolled her eyes before smirking up at him. "I'd love to captain but there's a game tomorrow."
"Mmm, just a quickie?" for some reason neither of them understood why they wanted this. They wanted tender kisses and lust filled touches. They wanted the fire, the lies, and the secrets. This was the one thing that made their hearts pick up and their cheeks flush with excitement. They didn't understand it and they didn't care.
After they finished and Lucy was still lying in his bed even though now she did have to leave she came to a realization that stole her breath away and made her wish more than anything the she and Fred had a relationship that went beyond the physical. She liked him; it wasn't just sex anymore because here she was, blissfully happy over the fact that she was lying next to Fred. If only she had the brains to get out then.
The weeks pass and they don't stop even though they both know that this isn't right. They fall into a basic routine of classes, Quidditch practices, and spending far, far too much time together. Easter break comes and they all go home. James finds out and he almost tells but Lucy cries and that's enough for him to keep their secret.
Once again they're back at school and it's time to buckle down. It's now the end of April and they've barely got a month until exams and two weeks until the championships against Slytherin – they're unstoppable these past two years – They barely have time to glance at each other outside of practice, let alone kiss.
They day's pass and against all odds Gryffindor wins the cup. The celebration in the common room is one for the history books but not because of the game. Thankfully the younger students are in bed and the rest of the house is too drunk to realize that their captain is snogging one of the chasers, one that just happens to be his cousin. Still some people remember and that's more than either of them are ready for. Rumors start to spread and to cover it up Lucy gets a boyfriend. She feels bad about using Trevor but it works: by the time exams start, according to the public eye at least, they're just cousins.
Exams pass in a blur of too late nights and not enough studying and suddenly Fred's walking across the stage, shaking hands with the headmaster, and leaving Lucy behind holding onto a boy's hand that she feels nothing for. She cries, silently at first but by the end of the week without Fred most of the school knows that something is wrong with the female marauder. She boards the train with the smell of cigarettes on her breath only after leaving Trevor in the dust.
That summer turned out better than either of them could ever have imagined. George decided that his son needed to grow up and that meant moving out of his childhood room with the walls painted in red and gold. He suggested a roommate but Fred shot him down immediately, Quidditch paid right away and he wanted the privacy. Lucy spent every night that summer with him, questions were asked but nothing was proven and that was all that mattered at the time.
But like all good things in life they usually come to an end. Sometimes the end has always been in sight, other times something has become such a massive part of your life that you could never imagine it coming to an end. And then there are the times that you know this can't last forever, you know that sometime this will have to end but when it does your entire world comes to a standstill. Lucy and Fred both knew that this couldn't last forever but when it ended their entire world turned on its axis and sent the tumbling into nothingness.
It's ironic that they're outed in the same way as Teddy and Victoire but no one notices at the time. It started on platform 9¾ with Lucy pressed against the wall. Percy finds them with his nephew's tongue shoved down her throat. That year Lucy was sent off to Hogwarts with her father's handprint shining Gryffindor red against her cheek and her heart split into two. She spent the seven hour train ride with her face buried in Molly's shirt while James rubs her back. Louis had taken Riley to a different compartment after she had hexed him with a Bat Bogey to make Aunt Ginny proud. As illogical as it was she blamed him, if he had thought of her in that way she would have never been in this situation. Dominique stopped by a few times as did Rose and Alice and Lily and Hugo. To Lucy that meant everything, even after all of this they were still on her side, they were still her family.
"What will they do to him?" she whispered. She had been mulling the question over and over in her mind and each time the response was getting wilder and wilder. She loved him and, while he had never said anything she knew that he shared some type of feeling for her.
Molly hesitated; their father wasn't the type of person to let something as massive as this go. She was about to say 'I don't know' when Dominique answered for her. "I imagine you're referring to your father and his high ups," she said folding her legs up under her. "They won't do anything to him, they can't. For one it's legal in England and for another Fred's family, saying anything to the media would be dragging his name into it too. The most the government's going to be involved are the ones that show up for Sunday dinner."
Lucy swallowed, for the most part Dominique was right about things like this, it came with being a Slytherin. "Molly what's the Gryffindor password, I don't want to go to the feast."
"Mandrake." She replied running her hand through her hair. "Lucy do you think that you'll be okay for a few minutes? I have to make sure Caleb's doing alright with the rest of the prefects."
"I'll be alright Molly." And she was, for the most part. As soon as she got off the train and through the front doors of the school, she slipped under the invisibility cloak James lent her and made her way up to the common room without incident. She needed to talk with Fred in whatever way she could. The letter covered most of the important points; I'm alright, are you okay, what happened, and the most important two, I'm sorry and I love you.
Three days later Lucy gets her reply. I'm alright, all they did was scream, are you sure you're okay, I love you and the one that broke her heart: it's over. Lucy cried and didn't get out of bed for two days but when she did she was the Lucy of her fourth year. She was a whirlwind that wouldn't stay put. She threw herself into her classes in a way that was sure to make Daddy forgive her. She switched from chaser to beater and James didn't say it but she is just as good as Fred was. When Christmas comes around she seriously considers staying at school but Molly and Dominique remove her name from the list, pack her trunk for her and all but drag her on the train.
During her three weeks home Fred tries to talk to her he really does, but her father isn't letting her leave unless it's to a family member's house – he doesn't count anymore - and the rest of the cousins are under very strict orders to not let them talk and they are all too happy to follow through. For Fred it's a pretty dismal Christmas Roxanne's not talking to him, not that he blames her, and all George does is yell. He expected better of Fred, which Fred no one's sure. As a last ditch attempt to talk to her he transfigures a needle into a hairclip that he wraps with a note that says I'm sorry, please talk. She gives the clip to Rose and burns the note. He doesn't try after that.
She goes back to school and most is forgotten. Eventually Fred and Lucy do talk and eventually Percy trusts her again, eventually he trusts Fred again. In the end it's just a story of a boy and a girl who fell together even when the world was against them from the start. It's not a love they're proud to tell their kids about. It's not a tale of dates and romance and chaste kisses. Its broom closets and ratty flats surrounded by lies. It's lust and hatred and knowing it's wrong. But in a sick twisted way it's perfect because he loves her and she loves him and isn't that how all tragedies start?