SPOILERS: From 5x20 onward, this covers a veritable collection of spoilers (and lots of hypothetical speculation as to how they'll play out) for the end of Season Five. Turn back now if you don't want to know.
NOTES: Written for the end-of-season spoiler speculation fest at chase_cameron on LiveJournal. Thanks to enigma731 for beta, and for giving me the initial idea for the last scene.
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and after all the sky has fallen down
and after all the water is washed away
my love's the only promise that remains
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Three weeks shy of marking their second anniversary together, the sky lets loose with a cold and lonesome rain. This day is supposed to bring about all of the typical clichés of good fortune and happiness, but it's as if nature itself is still in mourning over the events of the past month.
"Can't believe this," Chase grumbles under his breath, focusing intently on the road ahead as he navigates through the slippery streets of Princeton. "Of course it rains. Of course."
Cameron remains silent and still in the passenger seat beside him, staring blankly out the window to her right and looking very much a little girl lost in a mind filled with darkness and confusion.
They had all assumed the worst was over as they trekked across the grass of the cemetery last month, finding the courage to laugh over memories of their suddenly departed comrade. Kutner's suicide had caused a temporary rift amongst those most closely connected to the diagnostics department - a jolt equivalent to the loss of Amber, but far more jarring thanks to how familiar and well-liked the smart young prankster had become over time.
Things had slowly continued to deteriorate around them, albeit without anyone taking much notice or raising any real concern. A raw comment here and there had let them all know that House was in the midst of an internal battle over whether or not he was to blame for the death of his seemingly happy fellow, and Wilson's newfound romance meant that he was rarely around to play the role of watchman, babysitter, and sounding board. Chase had reluctantly stepped into the role for a few long and mind-numbing days, but then government officials from Immigration and Naturalization Services were at his door, and the world around them was spinning off its axis yet again.
"We're going to be late," Cameron finally utters matter-of-factly, eyes not shifting from the rain bands that chase one another across her window. For a split second, she wonders if even the weather feels the immediacy of this day.
"I know. I can't force the traffic." The response comes out as a sigh, and Chase grips the steering wheel tighter as he inches the car toward their final turn up ahead.
"You knew the appointment time. You're the one who scheduled it. We should have allowed time for traffic. We should have – "
Chase huffs out a breath, instantly stopping Cameron's quiet tirade in the process. "What we should have done is left hours ago, like I told you, so that we could have gotten some sleep. You're the one who was determined to stay."
She says nothing, but runs a shaky hand through her hair and pulls the seatbelt tighter, as if it can protect her from the nightmare of the past sixteen hours as well as the building tension between them.
"We shouldn't have even stayed at all."
At this, Cameron's head snaps around, the darkness in her eyes now directed at Chase instead of the world outside.
"Right," she spits. "Now you want to act like you don't care about him? About what's happening to him?"
Chase finally turns the corner and speeds down the street, answering as he throws the car into park in the lot adjacent to their destination. "No, what I want is to be able to make it through even one bloody week without him affecting every detail of our lives." He throws open the car door and hastily steps into the downpour, halfway drenched by the time he reaches the other side and opens Cameron's door – always the gentleman, even in anger.
"He can't control this!" Cameron yells over the rain as she exits the car and they both begin to walk quickly, ignoring the weather, toward the courthouse entrance. "It's not like he planned it specifically to ruin your day, Chase!"
"Our day! This isn't just about me, Allison!"
"Don't you think I know that? You are so – you know, let's just get this over with, okay? I want to get back to the hospital."
Cameron's forward movement is instantly halted as Chase grabs her wrist and pulls, spinning her toward him on the courthouse steps until she can fully see the extent of the pain in his eyes.
"'Get this over with?'" And Cameron immediately knows she's gone too far. "You know what, Cameron? Forget it." Dropping her arm, Chase turns on his heel and begins to walk away from the only shred of hope that remains in his life.
"Chase, wait!" Cameron shouts, taking one step down and wiping the rain out of her eyes in vain - the deluge only grows stronger, making it nearly impossible to see him less than three yards away. He stops in his tracks, turning to look at her as a newly broken shell of a man, but makes no movement to meet her halfway. "I'm sorry! I'm just – I'm so tired, and I feel like everything is falling apart, and this… this isn't how I wanted us to get married!"
He still doesn't move, face giving no sign of forgiveness or sympathy through the real and metaphorical storm, and Cameron knows she can't afford to be vague anymore.
"I'm scared, okay? I mean, how many people can I lose in one month? As if he and Kutner weren't enough, now here we are because the entire country wants to take you from me, too! I just want everything to stop and I – I don't know if I can do this anymore!"
Chase furrows his brow, slowly stepping up once to allow himself to better focus on her eyes, and sighs heavily. "If you don't want to do this, Ally, I don't want you to, either. I told you that from the start. If I have to go back, then – then I have to go back…"
"That's not what I meant!" She rushes toward him now, both of them soaked to the bone, and Chase can no longer differentiate between the raindrops and the tears as they mix together in an agonizing trail down her cheeks. "I don't want you to go! I can't keep losing the people I care about! I want to do this, Chase, I just – not like this."
For several moments they stand in the torrential downpour and stare, both wishing for some way to turn back the clock or at least change the circumstances that surround them today.
"If we had more time…" Chase trails off quietly, knowing Cameron is more than aware that today is their deadline if he is to have any chance of appealing his immigration woes. "But we're out of options."
"I know," she whispers, now just inches from his face, and Chase reaches out to brush back the dripping-wet strands of hair that hang heavily in front of her beautifully tormented eyes.
Moving from her forehead to her cheek, he caresses softly whilst wiping at water droplets and taking one more step so that they stand on the same level ground. "Everything else – we'll get through it together, yeah?"
Cameron nods as a visible tear escapes her eyes before mixing in with the rain, and Chase pulls her into a hug of exhaustion, relief and fear of the unknown.
"Hey, what are you guys doing out here?" They pull back slightly at the sound of Foreman shouting from the sidewalk below, and watch as he and Thirteen rush up the stairs toward them under the cover of a large umbrella.
"You're soaked! Come on, let's get inside," he continues once they reach the spot where Chase and Cameron stand, still locked in a loose embrace, before grabbing Cameron's arm and pulling them both into the courthouse entrance at last.
"How is he?" Chase asks, he and Cameron both ringing out their hair and clothing onto the floor mat below.
"No change," answers Foreman, shaking the rain from the umbrella and closing it tightly before handing it over so that Thirteen can hide it in the confines of her purse. "He's still sedated after this morning."
Yesterday afternoon had sauntered in like a harmless lamb, but then quickly morphed into the likes of an infuriated lion the moment Chase entered the ER to pick up Cameron from her shift and found her breathlessly shouting orders over a newly-delivered ambulance gurney that he instantly realized held the form of their very own Gregory House.
According to witnesses, House had marched into the strip club where they'd celebrated Chase's bachelor party just days before and begun shouting at everyone present about the pointlessness of life before chasing an entire bottle of Vicodin with five triple-shots of Pitron Silver tequila. The bartender had called 911, and House had lain facedown in a puddle of his own vomit by the time the paramedics had finally arrived.
"Cuddy and Wilson are calling in the best psych specialists in the country, but so far there's nothing more anyone can do," Thirteen adds grimly, reaching out to assist Cameron in the futile attempt to fix her matted golden locks.
At 3AM, House had awoken to find himself in the psych ward, where he had proceeded to lash out at everyone around him, insisting that Kutner and Amber were both taunting him – neither truly dead, but both having faked it to teach him a lesson in humility and guilt. Chase and Foreman had been forced to physically pin him down as the nurses applied hard restraints to his wrists and ankles, Cameron and Cuddy both crying in the corner as the sedative was administered and House finally fell back to sleep at last.
"We're heading back after this," Foreman adds, "so we'll keep you updated if there's any major change."
"You don't have to. We're going back, too." Chase says it with a distinctive hint of disappointment in his voice, and Foreman and Thirteen both notice the way Cameron's eyes shift downward in guilt.
"You're kidding, right? You're about get married in there, and you'd rather go back to work than go home and shut out the real world for a while?"
Thirteen's words merely voice what Chase and Cameron have both been thinking all morning, but hearing it stated in such a disbelieving tone only reassures Chase how right he is to hate the idea while finally making Cameron realize how ridiculous it is in the first place.
Slowly raising her gaze from the floor, Cameron finds Chase's tired eyes and gives him the tiniest hint of a smile. Before she can apologize for being so neurotic, though, a door near the end of the hallway opens and a middle-aged woman steps out with a scowl.
"Chase-Cameron? Last call for Robert Chase, Allison Cameron," she shouts through the corridor, waiting impatiently, having clearly already called for them several times.
"Over here," Cameron yells in response, not taking her eyes from Chase's as her smile widens and she raises one hand to signal their location, reaching out with the other to entwine her fingers with his.
"Are you sure?" Chase asks her quietly, and Cameron rolls her eyes at how many times he's asked her that since the moment this solution became their only way of staying together.
"You're not going to leave me, right? Not ever?"
"Not if we do this right now – absolutely not," Chase answers with a desperate gaze of undying love behind his eyes.
Leaning in to kiss him quickly, Cameron squeezes his hand and finally responds. "Then I'm sure. C'mon," she tells him, pulling on his hand and starting down the hall toward where the Justice of the Peace awaits. "Let's do this."
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Two hours later, the newlyweds are soaking wet yet again. This time, however, the weather outside has given way to sunlight and warmth, and their saturated condition is now the fault of a candle lit bubble bath in the comfort of Cameron's apartment.
"I can't believe we just did that," Chase whispers softly, resting his chin on Cameron's shoulder as she leans against him, both admiring their entwined left hands and the matching rings that now encircle matching fingers.
"I know…"
Silence fills the air around them as they reflect on the choices they've made and the commitment that it entails, until Chase reluctantly speaks up yet again.
"You still want to go back to the hospital, don't you?"
"No," she answers without hesitation, tilting her head back to meet his eyes and smile gently in reassurance. "I just—still can't believe it's happening to him, you know?"
"He'll be all right, babe. He always is." Chase reaches up with his right hand to move a few stray, sweaty pieces of hair off the back of her neck before kissing the exact spot and allowing his fingers to work the tired muscles there, all the while maintaining the left-handed connection he's certain he won't be ready to break anytime soon.
Cameron sighs in response to his words, moaning involuntarily at the pressure of his touch. "But what if he's not? It feels… different this time. More permanent."
"If he's not, then—then we'll deal with it. Together. And we'll help the others deal with it, and we'll find a way to carry on his legacy. Bastard or not, he's been an excellent teacher and even greater diagnostician. We won't let that disappear."
"And--what? Our wedding day is just forever tainted by tragedy?" Cameron poses the question almost rhetorically, reaching up behind her head to still Chase's massaging fingers and pull his hand back into the water, wrapping it tightly around her waist. "It was bad enough that we had to rush things, but now…"
Chase inhales slowly and deeply, gripping her to him more tightly in silent fear of her response to what he's about to say next. "Do you regret it? Do you… wish we hadn't gone through with it?"
Silence, again, and Chase prepares himself for the worst. He can't see Cameron tightly squeezing her eyelids shut, lips pressed together in agony as her heart breaks for this man she loves – for her husband – and everything she's done to him over the years to cause such an ongoing lack of confidence in her commitment.
"No, Chase. Of course not. I just… This has been nothing like what I imagined for our wedding day, that's all. It's not exactly the way I want to remember it," she finishes, shrugging lightly as if doing so will make all of their problems roll off her back, allowing her and Chase a chance to live in peaceful bliss if only for a few short moments.
"But…" Chase ventures slowly, "you're happy? I mean, about us?"
Cameron shifts in his arms, maneuvering limbs here and there until she's more or less sitting in his lap, body turned sideways in the bathtub so that she can gaze into his bright, blue eyes. "I'm happy, Chase. I want this. I would marry you again in a heartbeat, okay?"
It takes a few short moments before the smile reaches Chase's lips, slowly growing until it brightens his eyes as well. "I'll tell you what – once everything settles down, no matter what happens with House, you are marrying me again. I'll give you the wedding day you imagined. That is, if you still want to keep me by then."
Cameron's smile widens for the first time since they were pronounced man and wife, and she clutches the hair at the back of Chase's head as she pulls him closer, desperate for the feel of his kiss. It isn't a kiss of passion, but merely one of connection and togetherness. He's right, Cameron knows – they can survive whatever new obstacles may lie ahead, so long as they head into battle side by side. Pulling back slowly, Cameron finally releases their left hands to trace the stress lines in his forehead with her thumb, leaning in to kiss the spot between his eyes.
"I think I'll keep you, yeah."
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