Last Christmas I gave him my heart
But the very next day he went away
So this year to save me the tears
I'll give it to someone whose special
Uchiha Sasuke, was the one and only reason I never saw those I loved on Christmas. The sole reason I no longer bothered caring and participating in 'spiritual' events. I didn't enjoy the time of year and quite frankly the word seemed to leave a bitter taste in my mouth.
Presents didn't matter, it was the thought that counted. My friends could show they'd thought about it by not bothering at all, even so telling them for the third year in a row probably wouldn't make any difference. They still didn't listen and would send me over something pointless that I really didn't want.
I felt guilty, sure I did. But in the end I was only being honest. The presents were always given away, I never even bothered getting them one in return and the Christmas cards were burned upon arrival.
I was bitter, insanely beyond repair and it was all his fault.
Last Christmas I gave him my heart
But the very next day he went away
So this year to save me the tears
I'll give it to someone
I'll give it to someone whose special
Roughly I pulled my winter coat on, it was beyond freezing here compared to what it was usually like in the leaf village. I missed the comfort of having everyone there-well almost everyone- but this way was so much easier. I was just left to my own doings here.
Everyone would still send me the stuff I didn't want but I no longer had to put up with their comments. Naruto could call me Scrooge all he wanted and Sakura could persist with her "Sasuke" talk, but it never made any difference. I never rethought about it, never bought a single present, never bothered singing a Christmas Carol. As far as I was concerned, bar humbug to them all and to them all a bar humbug.
They weren't me, so they didn't get it.
"Hi Yuki" my small next door neighbor smiled at me lifting on to her withered toes to hang a branch of mistletoe above her door.
"Hello" I grinned in return shifting my eyes uncomfortably from the small plant and walking on leaving her to her decorating.
People were rushing around ignoring the small woman and her graying hair much like I had. Once I'd put myself enough distance between me and her I turned to watch but still no one seemed to have noticed her, either that or they were just too absorbed in buying last minute Christmas presents that they didn't have the time.
I was contemplating going back and helping her, putting my ignorance of the festive season aside for a few milliseconds really wouldn't make that much of a difference to the way I felt about it. Doing that one small favor for the person that had welcomed me so openly and kindly remembered not to mention THAT time of year, the one person I really ever spoke to round these parts.
It was a difficult choice and once I'd finally made my mind up about it, someone had already beaten me to it.
"Your never going to reach that" a white haired man chuckled before holding his sword out to the woman in exchange for the mistletoe.
He effortlessly attached the plant to the frame of the door whilst she struggled to keep hold of the sword without falling over.
"We're not celebrating Christmas this year" he smiled a toothy grin before spotting another of the old woman's decorations that wasn't set up properly. Had he seriously not noticed she was almost breaking her back trying to hold it up? Or was he just too ignorant to care?
"Jesus Christ" I muttered weaving through the swarms of people that were still coming in their dozens. A small boy ran smack straight into me and I was only able to continue once I'd set him straight on his feet and apologized.
A dirty look from his mother and I was still trying to get through without hurting myself or anyone else.
"Do you want to come in for some tea?" she gasped out jumping out of her skin when the weight was removed from her hands. She smiled gratefully at me and turned to look at the white haired young man who reached out to take the sword from me.
"I...um" he looked past us his eyes skimming through everyone that passed by, clearly looked for someone in particular. "Sure"
"Yuki?" the woman smiled up at me catching me off guard. She was inviting me in as well, she may have been turning a blind eye to the fact but I most certainly wasn't. No regular villager, no matter how strong could hold that weight.
"Obasan" I hissed leaning down closer to her ear yet not taking my eyes off the stranger for a moment, he in turn was just staring back at me. "Don't be stupid your old enough to know you don't invite strangers into your house".
"And to make it worst, he's a bloody ninja" my voice as far as I could tell was no longer quiet due to the dodgy looks I was receiving from others.
"Yuki" she sighed placing a withered old hand onto my arm a smirk stretching on to her face. "I invited you into my house".
"I had a head band" I insisted pointing towards the man's head where his ninja village symbol should have been.
"As far as I'm concerned it makes no difference, you could have been an impostor, you could have been lying. I knew as little about you as I do about him" she remained perfectly calm, as if it made no difference! With me you could clearly tell I wasn't a traitor.
"He could be-"
"I'm a rogue ninja" he smirked cutting me off and intimidatingly showing the indent on his lip that came from the fang that was pressing against it.
I stared at him shocked for a moment before turning back to the woman who was laughing beside me. "Obasan don't even think about it"
"I'm not a child any more, I can take care of myself" she insisted smiling up at me.
"Fine" I huffed my heart beating erratically against my eardrums, I was supposed to be the child yet I seemed to know better how dangerous these type of people were.
"Yuki don't be so bitter" she smiled and patted my hand before ushering the him through the door and in to her house.
"Stupid old hag" I muttered to the closed door. Why should I care if she got herself killed? It wasn't my problem if she was too senile to think straight.
Once bitten and twice shy
I keep my distance, but you still catch my eye
Tell me baby, do you recognize me?
Well it's been a while, it doesn't surprise me
Sasuke had not only ruined my following Christmases he'd also ruined my future. I didn't trust any men enough to completely commit in a relationship, not that I'd had the chance to prove this theory. I hadn't bothered getting involved with any one.
If I was being honest, as much as my mind was telling myself I hated him there was also the fact that no one could be as good as him. He was powerful, good looking and determined.
I firmly gripped a bronze coin in my hand, running through the thoughts in my head. I didn't expect a wishing well to work, but what was the harm in picking something I really wanted to happen?
Digging my thumb under the coin I tossed it up into the air, it flipped once before falling down and crashing through the motionless water to join all the others at the bottom, most of them were mine. I knew that much.
I never really knew what I was wishing for, all I knew was it involved Sasuke. Maybe I wanted him dead, he deserved that much but perhaps a small part of me really wanted him to come back.
That small deluded part of me was also tricking my mind into thinking that I could see him.
Opposite the fountain he was stood, a strange cloak billowing around his ankles, his face was completely expressionless. Not at all the Sasuke I remembered, he'd never looked like that before he at least showed in a small way what he was feeling. Some people missed it, but I could usually pick it out.
But it wasn't there, nothing was there.
His eyes met mine for a split second before he turned and walked away, leaving me stupidly stunned and breathless.
It was him it had to be. Of course he couldn't have recognized me, I was completely different I doubt he even remembered who I was after all the time we'd been apart.
We'd met tons of new people, he probably thought he recognized me at the most. Yet still after all this time I still remembered him, was it wrong to hope that he felt bad upon seeing me?
Felt bad for all the things he'd caused me to feel, to the difference he'd made to me and my life.
For making me fall insanely in love with him and then running away.
(Happy Christmas)
I wrapped it up and sent it
With a note saying "I love you", I meant it
Now I know what a fool I've been
But if you kissed me now, I know you'd fool me again
"Hiya Sasuke-kun" I smiled throwing my arms around said ninja and planting a kiss on his cheek.
"Yuki-Chan" he smiled weakly ignoring Sakura who was glaring at me, she liked him that was obvious enough but he liked me and that was pretty obvious too.
"Merry Christmas" I held out the neatly wrapped parcel, green wrapping paper with a bright red bow. It was only two inches wide but still it looked pretty good. I would have been happy giving him the present if I didn't know that nearly every other girl had probably brought him something nice.
Maybe a medical box or a new kunia set. I would have loved to have spent a load of money on him, but there were more important and crucial things my family had to buy. They couldn't afford pocket money so I had to make do with crafting something.
Which would have been okay, if I was any good at it.
"Wow" Sasuke laughed cutely picking the small card paper heart out of the box and holding it up to his eyes to read the writing on the red paper.
"My heart" he read laughing and turning to look at me. "You made this?"
"Yeah" I laughed scratching the back of my head. "It's pitiful, but I couldn't afford anything besides it's the thought that counts, right?"
"Right" Sasuke agreed and he genuinely looked like he meant it. "Money doesn't really show you thought about it when I could have bought that myself. Thank you"
I was practically glowing when Sakura barged past me. For once I'd done something that someone truly appreciated.
"No problem Sasuke-Kun" I squealed smiling the widest I ever had in my life. For once something was going right.
"What's this on the back?" he asked squinting at the other side of small writing, this time he didn't read it aloud.
"I-I" I stuttered blushing as I noticed his blush creeping up.
"You mean this" he asked for once all his barriers were down exposing himself to me whole, not just the small parts that I had to try hard to read the complete mindset of Uchiha Sasuke.
I nodded closing my eyes to ignore how he was moving closer in. I'd watched enough movies to know what was coming next. And quiet frankly, I'd waited long enough.
"Sasuke" I muttered pressing my fingers to my lips remembering the way his had gently kneaded mine. Why did he have to be such a good kisser?
Last Christmas I gave him my heart
But the very next day he went away
So this year to save me the tears
I'll give it to someone whose special
"Obasan" I called banging loudly on the door, I'd been a bit too rash leaving her on her own. She was always doing things like this and now wasn't the time to bale out on the old cracker.
"I bought cake" I shouted opening the door and peering down the straight and narrow hallway. She was sat that the dinning table with the man from earlier staring at me, another one of those god damned smirks on her face.
"Evil old crone" I laughed spotting a third cup already set out next to her.
"I knew you'd come" she smiled and stood up to get the kettle as I joined her at the table. "Would you like some more tea, Suigetsu?"
Suigetsu simply shook his head and like me watched Obasan leave the room, she turned and winked at me.
"On of these days she's going to get herself killed" I explained dropping the bag of cakes on to the table. "And if she doesn't watch out it might end up being me that's doing it".
"She seems nice enough" Suigetsu objected. "Besides as far as I can tell she's pretty fond of you".
"Right" I laughed watching her stick her head out of the kitchen while Suigetsu had turned away. Vigorously she inclined her head towards him. "That's why she's trying to hook me up with you".
Last Christmas I gave him my heart
But the very next day he went away
So this year to save me the tears
I'll give it to someone special
"So you hate Christmas?" Suigetsu asked shoving a large mouthful of yogurt into his mouth, why he'd asked for that instead of cake I'll never know.
"No, I think it's a commercialized waste of money with no real meaning" I answered catching him off guard and causing him to choke due to the contained laugh.
"How come you're so bitter?" he continued once the choking fit had passed. "Are you a modern day cheapskate Scrooge?"
Again with the Scrooge reference, was there no other more original statement.
"Because it's a waste of time" I replied distantly, he didn't really want to know the real reason besides I barely knew him it wasn't right to start ranting on about stupid Uchiha's.
"Because she had her heart broken" Obasan explained looking sideways at me as she sipped her third cup of tea. "She just doesn't like to admit that she once enjoyed it".
"That's not true" I objected glaring slightly at her.
The smirk on her face told me that she didn't believe that one bit, and that I was blushing.
"You were in love" she sang childishly giggling like a three year old. "Yuki had a lover".
"I was 12" I sighed placing the delicate china on the table rather than throwing it at the wall like I really wanted to. She knew this was a painful topic for me to talk about. "And he was a prick".
"Clearly" Suigetsu agreed with me sympathetically, not really something I was looking for. "What happened?"
"I really don't want-"
"It helps to talk about it" Obasan concluded before I had a chance to end the conversation. "I told you about my husband and now it doesn't bother me".
Suigetsu looked mildly stunned, obviously he had no idea what we were going on about.
Peer presser seemed to be the only thing that forced me to open my mouth and talk. Talk about something that bothered me, that really hurt me, that was still hurting me. How could he have walked out on me like that?
"He ran away in order to gain power, to make things worst not only did he not say goodbye to me he saw someone else before he left" I laughed, a hollow noise that hurt my tightening throat. "I wasn't even allowed to go after him".
"I'm guessing this was around Christmas time" Suigetsu stated, looking me in the eyes, causing me to blush slightly. Why was he looking at me like that? Was it just the sympathy?
I nodded staring down at the tea in my cup, seeing myself staring back. How different I was now, no smile like I used to always have, bags developing under my eyes. And all over some stupid boy.
"And you let some stupid childhood crush do this to you?" Suigetsu stared at me somewhat disgustedly. "Why the Hell are you being so immature about it?"
"Just hurry up and get over it already, what is so great about Sasuke frigging Uchiha?" he yelled standing up and grabbing his sword.
A crowded room, friends with tired eyes
I'm hiding from you, and your soul of ice
I thought you were someone to rely on
Me, I guess I was a shoulder to cry on
"I can't believe bill board brow likes him too" Ino shouted catching the attention of several of our other friends nearby. "He's mine"
I blushed slightly, how could I tell her that I didn't agree with that one bit.
He was mine, he always had been. He came to me when he needed a friend. He came to me the day his family was killed.
I loved him, I always had.
He loved me.
"How did you know it was Sasuke?" I asked, the anger I felt towards Suigetsu had vanished instead I was completely confused. How on earth did he know who Sasuke was?
Suigetsu flushed guiltily as Obasan looked on amazed. She didn't care about me, no one did. It was the Sasuke thing all over again.
"What's so great about him?" Suigetsu repeated, eyes downcast to the floor.
I should have learnt the first time that no one could be trusted.
A friend to discover with a fire in her heart
A man under cover but you tore me apart
Now I've found a real love, you'll never fool me again
I threw myself down on to my sofa face first. Ignoring the fact that it wouldn't answer me I asked pitifully. "Why does everyone always end up hurting me?"
"Come on Yuki" Obasan called banging loudly on the door that I had previously locked.
"I'm not opening it" I shouted, fighting against the tightening of my throat. "So you may as well go home, I don't want any thing to do with either of you"
"You know what your problem is?" Suigetsu called, I turned and watched horrified as his sword cut through my door like it was a simple loaf of bread. "You're too stubborn"
"And do you know what your problem is?" I replied storming over and nudging the severed pieces with my foot. "You're too forward"
Suigetsu laughed and leaned the sword against the door. "I know"
Last Christmas I gave him my heart
But the very next day he went away
So this year to save me the tears
I'll give it to someone special
"What exactly is this?" I asked holding the strip of black up. Suigetsu turned to look at me, the remnants of my door in his arms.
"My belt" he answered disappearing outside to dispose of them. Before returning and explaining. "I use them to keep my sword on my back, but last time I ended up breaking it"
"Right in your hurry for bloodshed" I teased, I'd been with Suigetsu for coming up to five hours and I was beginning to forget he was a criminal.
Slipping the needle through the material I tugged it tied the knot and cut away the excess cotton.
"Thanks" Suigetsu smiled his toothy grin and placed the belt around his waist. "What's the time?"
"10" I answered simply shivering from the sharp cold wind that was wafting in through the hole where my door should have been.
"Your cold" Suigetsu smiled and placed his arms around me.
"I-I" I stuttered being caught off guard by the ease of which he could do it. Did he not find it embarrassing?
Last Christmas I gave him my heart
But the very next day he went away
So this year to save me the tears
I'll give it to someone special
"Suigetsu" I blushed bringing my arms up to push him away. He was innocently hugging me and I was getting the wrong idea.
"Yuki" he answered leaning back but still keeping his arms around me.
My eyes widened as he slowly leaned in closer eyes closed and lips slightly parted.
Sasuke leaned in, eyes closed lips slightly parted.
His lips pressed firmly against mine as his hands slowly rubbed circles on my back.
Sasuke's lips pressed affectionately against mine as his hand made motions on my spine.
Suigetsu was powerful, good looking, determined and he wasn't hiding himself from me. He'd showed me he cared.
Sasuke was powerful, good looking and determined.
There was a difference between them a line that drew them both apart. Suigetsu was open Sasuke was a closed book, a closed padlocked book.
I smiled as Suigetsu pulled away with a puzzled look on his face due to my amusement.
"I'm sor-" he started.
"I like you" I cut him off, causing him to stare at me confused.
"I like you too?" he asked his hands leaving a warm imprint on my flesh.
Suigetsu was someone that I could truly fall in love with. Suigetsu was special.
Last Christmas I gave him my heart
But the very next day he went away
So this year to save me the tears
I'll give it to someone special
I'll give it to someone special
(extra)
Sasuke smiled and lifted and small heart up so he could read it. This was the one small part of his past that he could not depose of, the one person he had successfully ruined.
He knew she was the way she was because of him and because of that he felt bad. He often thought of her and wondered what she would do if she saw him again.
He was happy that Suigetsu had met her because he'd persuaded her to join him, so selfishly he'd be able to see her again, to know that she was okay without him. To know that she had someone special to take care of her.