Title: All Good Things
Author: AlexCabotIsQueen
Summary: "You and this job..."
A/N: I know. This is like the 100th post-ep for "Fault." But hey, when TPTB give us something good...we gotta run with it.
Elliot POV
I'm sitting here. Looking across at her empty desk. And realizing that it's over. Cragen told me what she asked for. And I won't deny her of it.
Just like Kathy. She asked for the divorce and I gave it to her. Not because I wanted to. But it would make her happy.
I hope this is what Olivia really wants.
I remember when I first met her. I couldn't believe she was a cop. She didn't look like it. I even told her so. Now that I think about it...That probably explains her horrible wardrobe early on.
And here we are, almost eight years later. And she's leaving.
I did this to her. All I can hear is my voice tell it back...
" Look, we both chose each other over the job. We can never let that happen again. Otherwise...can't be partners."
Idiot. I'm so stupid...Her voice...
"I can't believe you're saying that."
And the one chance I got. I told her what I thought.
"You and this job are about the only things I've got anymore. I don't want to wreck that. I couldn't take it."
Too bad she never listens to me.
Then again, I dunno. Maybe she was. Maybe she just didn't want me to be the one to walk away. Like that would be the final wind that would blow over my house of cards.
I just wish she was sitting right there. In her chair. Giving me that unwaivering stare that says, "we need to talk," but she's not.
I've got to get out of this room. I can't breathe.
As I grab my coat and leave, I can feel myself mindlessly grabbing my phone. And dialing her number. God, I can remember her phone number and birthday but I couldn't tell you who my kids are dating...
My kids...dating...
I bet Olivia knows more about my kids than I do...
Damn it. Machine...Oh, I guess I should say something here.
"Liv. It's me...I. I don't know what I'm supposed to say. I guess, I'm sorry if I made you doubt yourself. As a cop or as. A friend. I guess I'll see ya around then...You're really not there are you?..."
I know she's probably sitting on her couch. Probably crying...And it's my fault.
To think that I've caused her any pain. Almost too much.
As I sit in this lonely apartment of mine, I just want for things to be the way they were. Me and Olivia, we were a good team. But even good teams run out of steam. And they fight. They disagree. And eventually, they go there separate ways.
Suppose that's what this is. Separate ways. I just hope she can forgive me.
I love her, like a sister. Normally, I would hunt down the bastard that makes her feel this terrible and beat the shit out of him.
At least this time, I don't have to look any further than the mirror.
Guess that explains why my hand hurts and is bleeding...
"Elliot?"
"Olivia," I see we haven't forgotten each other's names yet. She's worried. That's why she's here. I almost forgot I gave her the extra key.
Why is she doing this. Taking care of me. Wrapping my cuts.
"I just came by to return the key. Good thing I did. You're going to need stitches. Damn it Elliot..."
"I'm sorry. I just wanted..."
"I know. Just don't worry. Get your coat...Let's go. And, uh, we can talk while we wait. I need to explain."
Suddenly, it's like a weight was lifted...I realize that fault isn't what I was looking for.
It's always absolution. And she's the only one who can give it.
A precious gift. Divine even. And to hear her reasons are the only thing that will let me sleep.
At least tonight.