I just got the idea, and I couldn't stop laughing at it. I don't own any of the characters or setting. Warning: first time I'll be using the "f" word in a fanfic.

Valhala, Blue Base

Caboose was baking a cake in the kitchen when he heard Church talking to Tucker in the other room.

"Are you sure this is a good idea?," Tucker asked, "I mean, I know he's annoyed us in the past, but this?"

"We don't have much of a choice, unless we want to cancel our dates, and you know how that'll end," Church shuddered.

"Yeah, fuck Caboose; let's go," Tucker stated.

As Caboose put the cake in the oven, Church and Tucker put themselves in the kitchen. But instead of being in their normal armor, they were in formal suits. This made Caboose wonder.

"Hello, what's going on?" the rookie asked.

"Hey, me & Tucker are going on a double date with Tex & Sister," Church stated, "so, we got someone to make sure you don't do anything stupid while we're gone."

"Is it Donut?" Caboose asked, hopefully.

"No, after I put him & Tucker in the same room, Grif put him on the man-cannon and shot him across the canyon," Church said. "Boy, that was a big mistake," he followed up with.

"Okay, is it the Doctor?" Caboose guessed again.

"No, Doc taking care of Donut," the acting captain said.

"Sargent?" Caboose asked.

"Being hunted by Sarge for shooting Donut out of the man-cannon," Church denied.

"Simmons?"

"He's in a coma for laughing too hard at Donut being shot out of the man-cannon," Church said.

"Lopez?"

"Can't understand a word he says, but I don't think he would want to, anyway," Church estimated.

"Agent Washington?" Caboose asked.

"We won't do since the last time he did it and you suck him with a grenade!" Church stated.

"CT?"

"He's dead, idiot!" Tucker snapped.

"Well, I'm just trying to find out who's going to be my babysitter!" Caboose snapped back.

"Well, it was a though choice, but we finally decided on someone," Church stated.

"Who is it?" Caboose asked. He didn't have to wait long, for their was a knock at the door and Church went to go open it, revealing the unmistakable white and brown solder with the EVA helmet.

"Oh, God, not the Meta!" Caboose screamed, running away.

"Go get him, boy!" Church ordered. And the Meta did that.

Tucker turned to Church and said, "you still think this is a go idea?"

"Well, look at it this way," Church said, "what's worst? The Meta killing Caboose, or us missing our dates with Tex & Sister?"

"Hey, let's go," Tucker decided, "if anything, Caboose will just accidentally kill the Meta, and that'd be a win-win situation: we get to go on a date with hot chicks, and we don't have to worry about the idiot or the serial killer ever again. Dude, you're one sneaky bastard."

"Thanks, man," Church said.

"Just one question: what are you going to pay him with?" Tuck asked.

"Oh, that's simple; I'm gonna give him his weapon back," Church said.

"But Grif has it and he's who-knows-where," Tucker stated.

"Actually, he's in the basement," Church corrected.

"Dude, you're a fucking master mind," Tucker complemented.

"I know," Church said.

And that was he said as the two lucky gentlemen walked off into the night to get their dates. This would be a night for everyone to remember, whether or not they wanted to.

That's the Red Vs. Blue Fanfic I've written, so far.