Tessa looked down in surprise as her phone began buzzing. She was back in London, as she had been for some time, and she hadn't heard from anyone she knew since getting into town. Even more surprisingly, it was Magnus's name that showed up on the screen. It had been a terribly long time since she had heard from Magnus at all.
It had been about ninety years since they had lost Jem, almost a century since they had lost Alec. Magnus had been fairly distant ever since Alec's death, disappearing for extended periods of time and only checking in with her when he seemed to think about it. He had spent a couple of years with her after Jem's death, and then he had left, once again becoming hardly more than a memory. Even when Tessa had talked to him, he seemed utterly distant, as though the world no longer interested him. The more Tessa thought about it, the more he seemed to act like his father, as though he cared about absolutely nothing.
Tessa picked up her phone, slightly nervous as to what would be so important that Magnus was calling her. Surely there hadn't been yet another emergency. She was afraid of how Magnus might handle another emergency after everything he'd been through lately. "Hello?" she answered, caution clear in her voice. "Magnus?"
When Magnus answered, he sounded much happier than Tessa thought he could possibly be. "Tessa, darling! I hear you're still in London, which is great because I, too, happen to be in London." He sounded slightly drunk, but Tessa waved that off immediately, knowing he sometimes simply got that way. She still couldn't shake the feeling, however, that there was something off about this random call.
"I am, Magnus. But why are you calling?" She realized too late that her question most likely sounded offensive and scrambled to make amends. "Not that I don't love hearing from you, but it's just that it's been almost a decade since I've heard from you at all."
She heard a sigh from the other end of the phone, and Tessa could tell that it was filled with happiness yet, Tessa finally realized, that it was tinged with grief he was so desperately trying to keep hidden. "I miss you, Tessa. Is that not a good enough reason for me to call?"
It would be, Tessa thought. If that were the real reason; seems to me you're lonelier than you'd care to admit. "Of course it is, Magnus," was what she said out loud, trying to keep the suspicion out of her voice. She knew, however, that Magnus most likely knew her well enough to realize that she was now weary of the situation.
When Magnus responded, any hint at grief or despair was completely gone, making Tessa even more worried than she had been just moments ago. "Just what I thought! Meet you at our favorite bar at the top of the hour then?" He sounded far too excited. Overcompensation, she thought. He realized that I know what's going on and now he's trying even harder.
It was her turn to sigh before replying. "Why not, Magnus?"
She heard him exclaim, "Marvelous!" before hanging up the phone.
Tessa's concern for Magnus heightened about halfway through the evening. Magnus was unbelievably drunk, and that was saying tons for someone like him. They had danced and laughed just as they had done so many other times. On the surface, Magnus seemed like his ever carefree self, but Tessa knew him well enough to see the thickly vailed pain in his eyes.
He had smiled and laughed, but unlike his usual self, not once had he flirted with anyone or even so much looked for more than a few seconds at any of the bar's patrons. When a highly attractive young man had asked to buy him a drink, Magnus had given him a dazzling smile and kindly declined, something that nearly sent Tessa into shock.
At one point, she had even gone so far as to point out a perfectly beautiful girl who seemed to be waiting for someone to buy her a drink, but Magnus had simply shaken his head and turned the conversation away. It was then that Tessa decided she need to act on her worries.
She motioned for him to lean in so that she could ask him something without having to yell at him. "Magnus, let's go somewhere where we can talk, please." He leaned back momentarily to look at her questioningly before nodding and leading the way out the door.
As soon as they were out the door, Magnus suddenly seemed to sober up, and Tessa's confusion only grew. "Magnus?" She tried, and knew she failed, to keep the suspicion and worry out of her voice. "Did you just use magic to sober up?"
She felt him chuckle softly beside her. "Indeed darling Tessa. You seemed as though you wanted a serious talk, and we both know I was slightly kind of extremely drunk."
Smiling, Tessa simply lead the way to her new home, hoping that Magnus would open up and let her know exactly why he was acting so out of the ordinary. Had she not known him so well, Tessa would have easily believed that he was perfectly relaxed, yet she could sense the tension even in the way he was walking.
They walked in silence for longer than Tessa would have liked, but she wasn't ready to break the silence until she knew she could talk to him seriously. Magnus seemed to welcome the silence, obviously falling deep into thought for the remainder of the walk to Tessa's.
"So dear Tessa?" Magnus was somehow sprawled across seemingly every inch of the chair he was currently in. "What could possibly be so serious that we needed to interrupt our night of wild drunkenness to talk?"
Sighing, Tessa leaned back and decided that jumping head first into the situation was the best decision. The longer she skirted around the truth, the more time she gave Magnus to come up with a way out of actually talking to her. "What I wanted to ask was why we were having a wild night of drunkenness in the first place."
For the first time that night, Magnus let his guard down ever so slightly, and Tessa was only ever so slightly relieved. "Simply put," he began, voice softer than it had been all night. She could tell he was trying to keep the pain out of it, the softness yet another overcompensation. "I needed the distraction today."
Tessa racked her brain, trying to figure out what he could possibly want so desperately to keep off his mind. In the end, when nothing immediately came to mind, she became straightforward once again. "Why did you need a distraction, Magnus? What's been going on?"
At that, Magnus bent over and buried his face in his hands. Tessa remained silent, unsure of what was causing this seemingly sudden change in mood, unsure of what she could do to comfort him.
Magnus's muffled voice sounded strained when he replied, speaking into his hands. "Today is his birthday." Tessa's confusion only grew when he had finished talking. Surely he couldn't be talking about Alec; it had been so long ago. She was so shocked, all she could say was, "Whose?"
When Magnus looked up, it was immediately clear to Tessa that this was, indeed, about Alec even before Magnus answered her. The pain in his eyes and somehow the grief that had apparently lasted for close to a century, were crystal clear. When he spoke again, his voice was heavy this time, letting in all the grief he had been holding back. "My Alexander," was all he could say before he stopped again, ensuring that he did not lose his composure then.
Looking at him, Tessa could see the pain in every area of his body, could tell that he was trying harder than he ever had to hold himself together. She got up from her seat and moved to put her arms around him, and that's when Magnus proceeded to break down completely. This also came as a shock to Tessa, and she struggled to hold herself together as well, but she kept her arms around him and let him fall apart around her.
She stayed silent until he calmed himself enough to speak up on his own. Leaning into her, he began in a muffled voice, "Tessa? You know what the worst part of this is?" Unable to speak, she simply brushed a tear off his face and waited for him to continue. "I've never felt like this before, that's what the worst part really is." He sat up and turned to face Tessa, taking one of her hands as he did so, as though she was holding him together.
Confused by what he had just said, Tessa began, "Magnus, what do you mean by that? You've lost people before, why is this time so different?" She could see the change in Magnus's eyes as he began to speak. Even now, the thought of Alec filled him with as much happiness as it did grief.
"This pain is different, Tessa, because Alexander was different. He meant more to me than anyone else ever had. More than anyone else ever will." As he finished speaking, more tears began to softly fall down his face, and Tessa squeezed his hand, trying to provide any form of comfort.
"Up until now, I always felt as though I had loved so many people throughout my life. But feeling this pain, I understand that I only ever truly loved Alexander. You're right, I've lost tons of people, but here I am a century later and every second of everyday Alexander is still all I can think about." He looked as though he was going to break down once more, but he continued speaking before he could. "I know now that Alexander is the only person I will ever truly love, and it's ripping my apart more and more every day. I've never felt so lost, so broken."
Tessa was speechless, unsure of what to say to comfort him. Why did his pain seem so much greater than what she experienced when she lost Will and Jem? She hoped it was because she was on the outside looking in. Once again surprising Tessa, Magnus suddenly leaped up from his seat and turned to face Tessa with a wild spark in his eyes. "I can't just sit here and feel sorry for myself though, I want to go do something about this." To this, Tessa could only reply, "And what do you intend to do?"
Tessa only found herself utterly confused at Magnus's response. "First, I must find a flower shop." Turning and immediately walking out the front door, Magnus left Tessa only able to sigh before following along.