NOTE 1: Okay so I really sucked at keeping the perspective correct, but I needed to so I could capture everything.
NOTE 2: Part II takes place at the beginning of That's What Friends Are For, excepting it's from Spock's POV.
NOTE 3: Okaty so yes, that isn' the right saying at the end in terms of Vulcan bonds, but I think it's close.
On that note, I command you to READ REVIEW FAVORITE AND ENJOY!
I. The Commander
Spock shifts for a moment after his body begins to object being forced into one position for too long. He's been waiting for Jim, and it seems illogical that simple diplomatic visit to the Federation base on Oureillia VI should be taking so long, but then again, the Captain had quite the knack for disproving logic at it's finest.
So, in simpler, less-than-accurate-because-he's-a-Vulcan terms, Spock misses Jim.
Because Spock was shamelessly in love with Jim.
It's become futile to deny his emotions, his evolving relationship with the Captain illustrated as much. A certain young Russian had been all but eager to point such out. Though Spock was well aware that Ensign Chekov was perfectly equipped to serve on a ship as important as the Enterprise, the Ensign's age was something of an inconvenience- Namely a maturity level that rivaled the Captain's own (Though for competition's sake, Jim made sure to win when it came to immaturity, and he did- with flying colors).
And so, Spock was sitting reading rather boring though necessary reports, as he had been for the past hour, when Jim finally arrived back at their quarters. He'd even been smiling.
But the things Spock observed couldn't have been ignored. Sometimes Spock resented being as observant as he was- It made things very awkward at the best and worst of times. So immediately after Jim had stepped into the light, Spock's brain was moving a million miles per hour.
Mussed hair, as though someone had been running their hand through it, dare think he- Pulling on it?
A limp that suggested one leg's muscles had been put under some sort of strain.
Damp forhead, suggesting that Jim had been taking part in a particularly rigorous activity.
All that coupled with the fact that Jim had been late coming back from the dinner caused Spock to conclude that Jim had been with someone else. And it broke his heart. Monogamy was a given in Vulcan culture. Intimacy was something treasured. Spock couldn't bear to look at Jim, couldn't bear to even touch Jim's mind with his own through their link-
Which was tragic, because if he had he might've stumbled across all the things Jim was trying so hard to hide.
Shame at being abused that way, scared of being violated again, guilty for cheating, even if it was forced, but most of all, overwhelming need.
Need to feel Spock's mind, need to know Spock loved him, need to know Spock understood, need to be held by his bond mate.
And instead of searching for truth, instead of risking his dignity and perhaps risking getting his hopes dashed- Spock ignored Jim. He left their quarters. Refused to meet his gaze. Steadily reporting and otherwise having no interaction with the Captain.
That night Spock wasn't sure what to do, but he subconsciously made his way to the rooms of Nyota Uhura. Upon opening the door he began, words much more jumbled than was usual for a Vulcan, (but still quite eloquent by Human Standards) "Nyota, I-" And then the Commander stopped abruptly as he caught sight of Scotty sitting on the seat within her quarters. "My apologies," he said, "I was not aware that you had c-company." He was about to walk, but Nyota grabbed his shoulder.
"Is there something you require?" he asked as calmly as he could manage.
"Vulcans don't stutter." she said rather simply. In a softer voice, she said, "What's going on, Spock?" Spock stared at her for a minute before taking a deep breathe, and he began to reiterate what had happened.
II. The Doctor
Bones can tell how hesitant Jim is to leave his office in sickbay. The poor kid is scared, which Leonard can understand, but how the kid could have been so stupid to keep anything like this to himself? Sometimes, Bones feels like he's raising his Captain. Standing up, Bones walks over to Jim, because it's painfully clear that he won't be making this decision by himself anytime soon.
"Come on, kid," he says, hesitantly touching Jim's shoulder (Because God knows if that act is now more fear instilling than comforting now, thanks to that damn Andorrian.)."We gotta talk to 'im." Jim looks up, and his blue eyes are still bloodshot. Leonard thinks it may just be the most heart-breaking look he's ever seen, because he sure as hell didn't want to admit that sound was his heart crackin' in two.
Of all the bad things in the world that could happen to all of the people in the universe, it just had to be this, and it just had to be Jim. It's not fair. Bones knows for a fact that Jim had gone through this kind of assault before, at the hands of his stepfather, Frank. It's on his psychiatric record. Finally, Jim stands up and they make their way over to the turbo lift.
When they get inside, Bones realizes that Jim has slipped a hand into one of his own. It makes him frown, though not objectionably. It's such a child-like act, one seeking comfort, confidence; something Jim never seemed to not have. Part of Bones, the part that usually sounds rather vengeful (not to mention drunk) is silently cursing Jim for being so God damn shattered. This kid is the first person that Bones hasn't pushed away in a very, very, long time, and damn it all, he isn't gonna let anyone screw him up.
Then the turbo lift hisses to a stop, and Jim's hand falls away. "Hey," Leonard says, watching Jim. Jim looks at him. "You ready to do this?" Jim doesn't open his mouth at all; not saying a word. He gestures for Jim to go ahead, and with another nod, Jim steps out of the safety of the turbo lift. Bones let's Jim take the lead (but he's sure to trail close behind) because he doesn't quite trust himself not to physically assault Spock.
Off course, it's not really Spock's fault, but Bones still is pissed at the Vulcan for immediately assuming JIm had cheated on him. It makes Bones angry at how even though Spock is the only person Jim has eyes for, Jim also seems to be a icon in the Federation when it comes to sleeping around.
When they finally round the corner that leaves them in front of Spock's quarters (or rather his rooms from before he moved in with Jim), the door slides open, and Bones holds his breathe.
III. The Captain
The door took what seemed to be an eternity to slide open.
Oh, thought Jim as he saw Spock in white robes, We interrupted his meditation. Memories flooded through Jim's mind as though a dam had been broken.
Spock sitting on a mat, surrounded by candlelight, quietly humming to himself as he meditated.
Spock quietly humming as he Jim stroked his hair while they tried to sleep.
Waking up next to Spock in the morning, greeted by those chocolate brown eyes.
Those chocolate brown eyes dancing with a secret smile, smiling at Jim from across the bridge.
Jim's hand tightened into a fist. "We need to talk," he said, in what he hoped was a rather flat tone, though he knew it was a lie; the hurt and fear seeping from his voice was practically tangible.
"Captain, Doctor. Come in...?" Spock's eyes desperately raked over the Jim and Bones. Jim nodded, but couldn't find his voice (which didn't really matter, for even if he could speak, he would have no words). Bones gently touched the small of Jim's back, and the young Captain automatically strode forward.
"Jim," Bones said gently, silently asking Can you say it? Jim shook his head in an inaudible no. Spock watched this display, an eyebrow already making it's way upwards. Bones nodded to Jim. He turned to face the Vulcan. "Jim didn't cheat on you."
"Pardon?" Spock said, almost automatically, caught off-guard by the subject matter.
"Spock," Bones said, "Don't be stupid, think about it. If he didn't cheat-"
"You suggest my observations were flawed?" Spock said rather briskly. Bones shrugged at the accusation.
"I'm suggesting that cheating isn't the only conclusion you could have drawn." Spock blinked, his mind once again racing. The signs were all there, he just needed to analyze them, a constant mantra of What, what, what, what, rung through his head until finally-
Oh.
Oh.
Oh no.
No.
Could I have been so wrong?
Spock spoke again, what seemed years later to him, though in reality had been merely a few moments.
"It appears I have made a grave error," Spock whispered. Looking up, he saw tears at the brim of Jim's eyes. Immediately, he swooped the young Captain into a hug, rubbing circles on his back, whispering comfort, and touching his mind."Jim, Jim, I'm so sorry, I should not have- It was foolish of me to- I did not observe correctly-" Jim only clung more tightly to the Vulcan. Quiet as he could (it wasn't very quiet, but neither of the other parities noticed) Bones left the room.
Spock pulled away as Jim's sobs subsided. At the loss of touch, Jim seemed to look like he would weep all over again. Carefully, the Vulcan held out two fingers.
"Jim," he whispered, "Allow me to comfort you, to replace the grief you felt when I did not and should have." Jim nodded slowly, before reaching out and touching Spocck's fingers with two of his own.
"Never and always touching," he whispered.
"Never and always parted," Spock responded.
fin.