"Patience Love"
"WHERE IS SHE?" He yelled sadistically frightening everyone who was around when he charged in through the palace doors.
The generals had been looking for him all over and suddenly now they were regretting it.
"Where is who?" Ptolemy asked. Know one else seemed brave enough.
"You all know damn well who. Where is Buchephalus?" the king shouted.
"Sire what were you doing at the stalls this late? Its stormy outside." asked Leonnatus more worried about the king than what he was yelling at them about.
They all stared upon their king and the king at his collected generals. Alexander looked wild. His hair was tossed and wet and his eyes were as fierce as the lighting and fists as strong as the thunder booming outside.
"Answer my question. Where is she? Why are you playing tricks on me?" he accused like a paranoid tyrant waving a hand at them.
A guard came running into the room where the king and the generals were assembled.
"Sire the horse has been found. She is back in her stall." He bowed to him.
Alexander nodded and waved the guard away but anger still shown in his fazed eyes.
"Who did this?" He turned back to his generals.
The generals figured they would blame one person so the King would take all his anger out on them but Alexander went down the list accusing each one of them of it first thing and that saved them from pointing fingers.
"Where are your manners men! I would have taken enemies heads for this? Why did you do it?" Alexander could have strangled them all if they didn't speak up. And if they didn;t admit it soon he would awake everyone within the palace walls to find out.
"We have no idea what you're talking about." Cassander answered calmly. This wasn't the first time Alexander went off on a tantrum about something they had no part of.
"WHO?" Alexander glared at them all. "Tell me now!"
Hephaistion quiet as always stood behind the rest without saying a word or giving a sign that he was even there. He wasn't too pleased though with the situation. He knew he should say something before things got out of control. He had a talent to calm Alexander even in his worst, but Alexander could be full of surprises to himself and too many but never to him.
"Alexander, calm your self. Please. The horse has been found." Hephaistion managed to finally say peacefully hoping the king would settle down with his unnecessary temper. "Things shall be dealt with when the sun rises. At the time being you need to dry up and rest yourself."
Alexander looked at Hephaistion and then took a deep breath.
He refused to look at the lot of them to disgusted with them. Next thing they knew the King was gone from their sight.
X
The King leaned up in his bed breathing heavily.
"Hephaistion! I had this horrible dream." he announced wiping the damp sweat from his forehead.
"Oh yea? What about?" Alexander was surprised Hephaistion was not asleep but instead looking at him with an expression he could not explain.
"Well I dreamed the generals took Buchephalus and hid her from me. I was beyond upset and I made all of them including you write why you should not pull pranks and disrespect me as your king."
"Interesting. What else?"
"The next morning came fast. I woke all the generals up early and made them come to the meeting area. I handed them out a bunch of paper and told them to write ten pages on why they would never disrespect there king again. All were there including you but you were the only one who didn't mind the punishment. The others seemed to have the pleasure in complaining but it was you who didn't care. I was in a great mood and I told them that I was not going to put up with any disrespect from anybody. It was a long day just of writing and remember I just sat there in my seat watching them, and watching you. I felt my eyes were dark and heavy but that is what they deserve. One of them did it after all event hough they denied it."
He turned towards Hephaistion.
"Was that it?' the general asked with a stern expression.
"Yea, what I can remember."
Hephaistion looked angry and Alexander questioned it. "You don't seem that interested?"
Hephaistion leaned up and glared hard at Alexander.
"Alexander you need to stop drinking. If you really thought that was a dream then you're crazy. Go back to bed and dream an actual dream."
"I swear Hephaistion I dreamed it, just now." Alexander didn't understand why Hephaistion was behaving angry at him. "I am sorry if I disturbed your sleep."
Hephaistion groaned and slipped out of the bed. He walked over to the table with a group of papers stacked high in the corner of the room, picked them up and walked back over to the bed dropping the papers at the foot.
"Is that proof enough?"
Alexander started looking through the papers scanning carefully but disbelievingly.
Hephaistion hopped back in the bed and watched his lover grow increasingly frustrated.
"This can't be." Alexander knocked the papers to the floor.
"Yes Alexander, it can be. And it was."
"Hephaistion I would never do this to anyone or to you." Alexander was getting furious, shaking his head.
"When your drunk, mad, and loose all self control anything is possible Alexander.
Some of the men have blisters on there fingers for pressing the pen to hard. Ptolemy is upset with you and Parmenion and Philotas probably trust you less now and the thing is no one even took Buchephalus. She was in the stalls the whole time. I don't even want to know why your little Highness ass was outside in the middle of the night in the first place."
If confused had a look, it was Alexander. He couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"I thought it was a dream. No it must be a dream." Alexander got out of the bed and started pacing around like a lion in a cage. The general sighed.
"It wasn't Alexander."
"Do you have proof?"
"Alex, the papers we had to write are here. Is that not proof enough? Ask anyone. They'll tell you. Only if you accept to hear it."
The general knew if Alexander didn't want to hear something he would ignore it completely.
Alexander was still for a long moment after he figured walking in circles wasn't doing him any good. Then a nervous smile formed on his face.
"Are you guys playing a trick on me again? How do I know you're telling me the truth right now?
Hephaistion jumped out of the bed and stomped over to the King and stared right into his eyes. "Because little man I am your most trusted and loyal general. Because I am yours and yours only! Because I would die for you! Why would I have a reason to lie to you at all? Am I not your Patroclus?"
Alexander looked straight into the blue eyes and saw tears growing in them. Hephaistion sighed relieving himself from his own anger and cupped his king's cheeks. He started rubbing the little scars there and the growing stubble hairs.
"Alex you talk to me about everything. Why can't you tell me why you have been acting strange lately? You've been drinking too much, and your world is looking at you different. Has pride finally caught up to the Alexander I once known?"
"I'm sorry Phai. I trust you but why would I do something like that?"
He turned away from the general quickly and moved aside standing in deep thought. His brows furrowed in concentration trying to remember anything but he couldn't remember one thing; he must have been deep in the cups he thought.
They were both quiet for a long time until Hephaistion spoke up.
"It's not safe to wonder by yourself at night drunk, Alexander. You looked non human ready to attack when you approached us. I was scared Alexander even if I don't ever admit it to myself. I never dreamed of ever being afraid of you and I am sure you never wanted that either."
"I know." Alexander sighed apologetically. 'I'm sorry."
"Good. Anyways, I dislike most of the men but they didn't do it and they need apologies as well. Can you handle that tomorrow morning?"
"Yes." Alexander smiled as Hephaistion treated him like his own child.
Hephaistion could have laughed. He never had seen Alexander look so ashamed of himself. He even looked a little sad. Hephaistion took Alexander by the hand and pulled him over to the bed and they both lay down and made themselves comfortable in each others arms.
"What bothers you?"
"I wish everyone could see what I see. I wish I didn't have to murder families and wreck their homes; it pains me to have to make those decisions. I wish my father died happy. I couldn't stand the look in his eyes when he went before me. I also hate that I don't ever wnt to see my mother again. I want to unite the world so badly and I fear she would somehow stop me. I dream about being a hero for those who need one. And you, I wish people saw you for the talent you have. I hate the thoughts of you dieing in front of me and I having to continue on without you. I hate having to make these choices and decisions Phai. I drink because I can escape that way and my thoughts become silent. I just want to be the best and I know I will never be."
Hephaistion looked shocked. He did not expect to hear that all from Alexander, the man who he thought was content with his life, the man he was sure had no insecurities or at least this many. The man who already owned the world but is claiming he didn't have it yet.
He had been there every time Alexander drowned in sorrow and he was by his side to comfort him but he never knew Alexander still had all of it built up inside. "I didn't know all these thoughts were haunting you."
"I shouldn't complain though, you have the hardest job out of anybody Phai." the king pulled lightly on a string of hair falling in the brunettes face.
"Oh yes? What's that?"
Smiles formed on both their faces.
"Loving a king, who is out of his damn mind?"
"That's called patience love. Now go to sleep."