I sigh as sleep once again evades me. I had everything planned out. I was going to explain everything to her this evening and say my goodbye in person, but I lost my nerve. She just looked so happy; I didn't want to spoil it. We had dinner together and then went to bed. For her it was just like every other evening we had shared for the past year. For me it was torture. In the back of my mind was the nagging thought that I was going to have to tell her that I am leaving her.
I sigh once again and reach over the bed to my footlocker. I dig around for awhile until I find a datapad. I have no idea what I'm going to say to her. My thoughts are a jumbled mess. I decided to just tell her the truth about everything. She deserves to know why I'm leaving like this, right when everything had just become perfect. I sigh and begin writing.
My Dear Bastila,
I'm lying here, next to you in bed watching you sleep. You are so beautiful when you sleep. You look so peaceful. I can't even begin to tell you how much I love you. You have taught me so much about myself, not just as a Jedi, but as a person in general. You are so patient and so understanding. You will only continue to grow. I have no doubt that one day you will become a powerful master, however, I'm afraid I won't be able to see this. Please, don't misunderstand me. I love you so much, and I want nothing more than to be by your side for the rest of my life, but the Force has a different plan for me.
I have sensed a disturbance in the Force. It is a subtle thing; a slight breeze blowing through the grass. There is something which lies beyond the Outer Rim. I don't know what exactly it is, but I sense that it is very dark and very dangerous. I believe that whatever it is, it is my fault that it poses a threat. If this is indeed the case, it is my responsibility to destroy whatever it is that is out there. I must travel beyond the Outer Rim, and I must go there alone. I'll bring the droids along, but that is all. No one else must be involved in this, it is far too dangerous.
There is a great chance that I will not return from this venture. If this becomes the case, and I do indeed die, please, don't weep for me. "There is no death, there is only the Force." Should I die, my soul will live on through the Force, and I promise you that I will always watch over you. No matter where I am, or what has happened to me, I will always be with you, in one way or another. I just want you to know that I love you, and leaving like this is not easy for me. I deeply regret leaving you behind, but this is the only way for me to keep you safe. Do not try to follow me, and do not tell the Council or the Republic of this. They need not concern themselves with this matter. The time has come for me to depart. Goodbye my love, and remember, I will always be with you.
-Revan
Satisfied that I had conveyed all that I wanted to, I leave the datapad on my pillow and get out of bed. As silently as I possibly can I begin to dress myself and gather my things. Before I walk out the door I take one last look at my sleeping lover. I feel a great sadness come over me. I lump has formed in my throat and tears threaten to overtake me. I quickly walk to the bed and kneel down beside her. She is breathing softly and she has a slight smile on her face. She must be having a good dream. I tuck a lock of loose hair behind her ear and kiss her forehead.
"Goodbye, love." I whisper. And now the tears have come. I wipe them up with my robe before walking towards the door once more. I'll be able to take my ship in a few hours, and it's better to go now than to waste more time here. I take once last look at her before I finally depart. I feel as if my heart is going to break. I swallow my sadness and head out the door. It is time to do what needs to be done.