When he was young, Phil Brooks had his dreams.
He knew he wanted to become a wrestler, but that came later.
His earliest dream was the one he eventually came to believe he'd never fulfill.
He wanted to find love.
He wanted a man.
Phil realized early on that he was gay. He was always very close with his sisters, and he still remembers them drooling over the guys in magazines they read or movies they watched.
Many times, he tended to agree with them.
As he grew older, late at night, he would let his mind wander, thinking about who his dream man would be.
He pictured someone with long flowing hair and perfect skin.
Someone people say Jesus would look like.
As Phil reached his teen years, everything began to change.
His father started drinking a lot more, causing their entire family to constantly be put on edge and Phil to start slowly building his defenses.
He told himself love wasn't real, or at the very least, unattainable. Something he would never have.
Still, the dreamer in him...the minute little part that refused to die no matter how many times he attempted to squash it...still longed for someone. Only now, he knew what he really longed for.
He wanted someone who would take care of him. Love him. Someone willing to take up some of the burden he lugged around on his shoulders.
Someone who thought he was important. Worthy.
But, of course, as Phil continued to tell himself, this person did not exist.
Phil continued on over the next decade or so, putting everything into his career while the spark of hope that he would ever find someone to love grew fainter and fainter and his impenetrable walls became thicker and thicker.
Everything changed on one single day, however. One day Phil would remember for the rest of his life as a pivotal shift in his entire existence.
The day he met one Jeffrey Nero Hardy.
From the moment they were introduced to each other, Phil felt a spark deep in his gut. It scared the hell out of him because he had never felt it before.
The minute Jeff opened his mouth and he was confronted with that southern drawl, Phil had to physically restrain himself from falling to his knees.
It was by far the sexiest thing he had ever heard.
He spent the next few months fumbling over himself like an idiot whenever Jeff was around.
It turned out that they had a lot in common, so whenever he was able to compose himself enough to talk to the guy, they had great conversations. Jeff was funny and kind, and Phil swore he had this profound insight into the world no one else could even begin to understand.
He didn't look like the guys Phil ogled when he was younger, he damn sure didn't look like Jesus, but he was fucking beautiful. Combined with the beautiful spirit that just radiated out of him, Phil was completely hooked.
Most of the time, though, Phil was too jittery around Jeff to make even the slightest effort towards him.
He often found himself calling Chaleen in the middle of the night, ranting about what an idiot he was and how he had no idea what he was gonna do.
Of all of their siblings, the two of them had always been the closest, and Phil knew she was the one he could always go to with his "boy troubles," as she liked to call them. He knew she would always be there with wise advice, despite the fact that she was the younger of the two of them.
She had finally had it one day with her brother's insane panicked rambling about this Jeff guy and told him flat out that he needed to tell him how he felt. That if he didn't at least get it out in the open between them, he would continue to drive himself crazy without accomplishing anything.
"It's better to know than to wonder forever," she'd said.
Years later, Phil still believed he'd never be able to repay her.
After sucking up his nerves and confessing to Jeff, Phil learned that his feelings were strongly reciprocated and he immediately fell into the bliss that was Jeff Hardy's arms.
The road since then had been rocky, but their relationship had remained solid.
Phil was there through Jeff's arrest and stint in rehab, his transition from WWE to TNA, and the continued work that went into perfecting the rebuilt version of what would eventually become their house.
Jeff had been there as a pillar of support as he watched Phil's rise to stardom proudly, encouraging him when his self-doubt began to creep back in, being a security blanket Phil could run to when he had to deal with drama and bullshit, letdowns and frustrations.
One day, Phil mentioned that he would love it if they had a kid one day.
It was an offhanded comment, and the final part of his childhood dream.
Surprisingly, Jeff had been ecstatic about the idea, and after many long talks with their good friend Beth, 9 months of pregnancy, and hours of labor, Phil and Jeff had their baby girl.
Two years after Ruby's birth, Phil stood in the kitchen washing dishes as he thought that his life could not possibly get any better.
Just then, Jeff came jogging through the door, rushing to escape the downpour of rain outside.
He saw Phil in the kitchen and grinned, coming to wrap his arms around his love's waist.
"Hey, Darlin'," he rumbled in Phil's ear.
No matter how many times he said it, no matter how many years passed, every time Jeff called him "darlin'" in that voice of his, Phil's knees never failed to quake and a shiver never failed to run down his spine.
Chaleen still loved to tease him about that one.
"What ya thinkin' about?"
"Nothin," Phil replied contentedly. "Just that my life has turned out absolutely perfect."
Jeff chuckled and turned Phil around, pulling him to his chest in a hug.
"Mine too."
As Phil closed his eyes, completely content, he basked in the realization that he had gotten the gentleman, the care taker, the support, and the lover he had always secretly yearned for.
He'd finally attained the dream he had when he was young.
The End
Author's Note: Overall, I'm not very happy with how this fic turned out, but this is what came of it. I'd really appreciate feedback. This was one of those ideas that I just really needed to get down. The idea comes from the song "When You Were Young" by the Killers and the amazing segment of a Junk video Cal-Wills made to it. Thanks so much for reading!