Chapter 1: Shame
The picture of his white persona against the dark blue night caused a painful stirring in his chest. The brim of his hat was sunk so low it covered his eyes. Only the monocle creating a reflection of the moonlight, glinting from the mist of darkness that was his face, hinted of their existence. He was sure the thief was watching him just as intently. Why else would he stand so still, just waiting for him?
The entire KID force lay incapacitated by the grounds of the building, covered in green slime, glitter and pink feathers per usual. The intensity and ferocity of Kid's heists had gone from extraordinary to immense within the span of a year. A year that had had Shin'ichi back, returned and intent on catching the thief.
Shin'ichi had come back under cheers and fireworks. Not by his own accord, of course. Shiho had finally completed an antidote some month prior to the actual using of it. FBI had put their forces together and 'Conan' had been welcomed along the ranks as a dear friend with the record he had with them. The actual take-down had been open for the world to see, all according to careful planning. They could not hide while under the spotlight. So Shin'ichi who had to work as the face in the media had become even more famous.
As his name appeared in the papers every day, his life was spent running from the reporters and changing appearance. Because not every member was taken in. He knew this very well, for he had connected the dots with the mysterious shootings at the KID heists, the shady figures spying on the thief, and the too incredible stunts the phantom had to pull off to lead the police and commoners away from dangerous situations that they had somehow missed altogether. Shin'ichi had seen it all, and he knew he had acted too hastily as apparently branches of the Black Organization was still moving about.
He stared into what he thought was Kid's eyes, tried to ask him the unaskable. Tried to convey the message of regret he was feeling.
Yes, an entire year had passed since he got back. An entire year when he could act himself, command the police, direct the FBI and work on his own – and he still had not managed to catch the snake.
He felt shameful.
And worry. The thief was obviously pushing himself. Though a true enjoyment to watch as part of the audience, his heists were anything but carefully laden traps to lure out the murderers of his father. Shin'ichi knew this. He also knew about Pandora. About his double-life. About Kuroba Kaito. About the strain living and lying to your best friend. He knew this because he had watched the thief, the magician, the teenager.
Shin'ichi no longer cared about catching the thief. Why would he? He was like the twin he never had, a brother sharing his pain, a soul partner. He was also a smile in a world so dark it was touchable. Shin'ichi needed that smile, the light that radiated from the boy under the top-hat. Needed the challenge to his mind that did not end with death, betrayal and regret. Needed this time on the rooftop with a fellow fighter for justice.
Does it sound ironic that he would think of an internationally wanted thief as a fighter for justice? Well, Shin'ichi could see past the exterior. Though a sure show-man to the core, Kid did not enjoy his heists, not because of the stealing anyway. He brought laughter and smiles into people's life while secretly searching to destroy the box of doubt and fear into the world, the box that was Pandora, the jewel.
No, Shin'ichi was not going to catch the thief. He was going to aid him. He attended every heist like a dutiful detective, hunted the thief like a police dog, and commanded the task force like a professional, surely as ever. But every now and again, he gave a slightly misguiding signal, gave a small clue for the thief to retreat, or left the heist a little too early to follow a different trail.
Obviously the thief had noticed. How could he not? Shin'ichi had not made a single whole-hearted attempt to catch the thief. Media would disagree, but the thief knew differently.
'A cool night, would you not agree, Meitantei?'
The smooth voice of the phantom that had occupied his mind for so long startled the detective out of his musings. He smirked.
'Not so much after those thirty-seven staircases up and running.'
'I would have never thought the great detective would admit to feeling hot', mused Kid and Shin'ichi took note of the flashing of his teeth when the magician grinned provocatively.
'Never one to hide the truth.'
'Spoken like a true Meitantei!'
Shin'ichi felt himself flush, irritated. 'Spoken, maybe…'
'Not acting the part?' asked the thief, and Shin'ichi heard the surprise, though surely intended.
'You know I'm not.' I failed you.
Silence ringed in the air, only broken by the sirens echoing down on the streets, the crowd still going wildly going by the cheers. Shin'ichi tried again to catch the eyes of Kid, but he was expertly pulling his entire figure into shadow with the backlight of the moon.
'One can only ever do so much.' I don't blame you.
'And it wouldn't be enough!'
He knew he let his emotions play freely across his features, but he could no longer hold the anxiety, the regret, the longing he felt back. He took a step forward. The thief shifted, just slightly. But it was enough as Shin'ichi could finally see the features of the magician.
He was beautiful.
Shin'ichi sucked in a breath. Kaito was staring back at him, eyes wide, worried. Shin'ichi took realised the thief stood stiff as a board, even in that relaxed pose he kept up all through his heists, the pose he would only drop when he got home, closed his bedroom room and sunk down on the bed with an exhausted sigh.
He took another step and the thief bit his bottom lip. Shin'ichi's eyes were on it in a millisecond. He swallowed, blinked and tore his gaze away from the magician altogether. They were only two meters apart. Kid could not hide his face anymore should he want to, should he remember he was supposed to keep anonymous, hidden, a shadow. No, he was all for Shin'ichi to see and yet he focused his eyes on the stone railing surrounding the rooftop.
He was shocked when something white flashed in the corner of his eye, and he looked up immediately but Kid looked the same. On closer inspection, he noticed, not completely the same. His right hand was clenched hard, arm pressed to his side. Had he moved then?
'I suppose not.'
Cold spread in his chest when the distanced voice of the thief reached his ears. Of course he would blame him. He could have ended the suffering that came with a double-life for Kid, but he had not. He had failed, and he was being blamed for it. Somehow it was more painful to hear it so clearly from him, than to just know.
'The night is getting late', the thief said, glancing behind him, down on the crowds, then up at the moon, and lastly back to Shin'ichi.
His heart constricted painfully as it became clear the magician would leave him. They had barely spoken. Today had been one of those forlorn days where guilt had raided his body and he became unable to think past it. All because there had been another sighting today, and Kid had been aimed at, just second from being fired at. Those times had him reliving his encounters with Gin, Vermouth and all the rest of the Black Organization, only ten times worse.
Because this was Kaito.
He had no idea when it happened, this progression from feeling a sense of kinship with the double-agent, to full-blown protectiveness that came with getting to know him.
'I'll expect to see you on my next heist.'
And just like that his heart felt feather light.
I want you here.
'Maybe you shouldn't so openly invite this great detective.'
The thief turned, maybe surprised at his playful response.
'Nonsense, this isn't half as fun without my favourite critic. Shame on the day should you fail to crack every last one of my traps!'
Shin'ichi laughed, relieved the mood had turned. 'May your lying tongue turn black for all to see, you thief!'
'I'm hurt!' exclaimed the lying thief and grasped the clothing over his heart, feigning heart-break and fell over the railing.
Shin'ichi rushed forth to see him fall; going from motionless to graceful like a swan before the white wings of the majestic bird folded out and carried the thief away.
'I'll expect to see you much earlier than that, though, Kaito…' whispered the detective and turned to leave.