Disclaimer: Unfortunately I don't own Merlin or Jar of Hearts, all I have is a car called Rupert and an extensive collection of books and dvds.

Warnings: Some swear words and Merthur.

Summary: Being immortal means Merlin just has to wait around for those he loves to be reincarnated, and that includes Arthur Pendragon. But in Arthur's last lifetime the two had a falling out meaning now that Arthur is back again, Merlin doesn't want anything to do with him. And he really doesn't care what Morgana has to say on the subject.

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Now all those are out the way, on with the story...

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Enough

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I know I can't take one more step towards you
'Cause all that's waiting is regret
And don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most

I learned to live half alive
And now you want me one more time

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(Jar of Hearts – Christina Perri.)

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The last time he had seen him had been it was the 1920's and they were living in Chicago. That time around he had been born the son of the head of one of the most notorious Mafia gangs about. After finding him, Merlin had distinguished himself as a brilliant marksman and shown surprising strength, for his ever scrawny figure, to make sure he was made one of his permanent bodyguards. He wanted to be able to be with him constantly and enjoy the time destiny would allow them, this lifetime. Only it hadn't ended as every time before had, with Merlin whispering how much he loved the man he spend eternity searching for, as the life drained from him, be it from old age, illness or battle wound. No this time it had been cut short. This time he had been too much of a prat and Merlin had just walked away. He told him to enjoy his life alone, to enjoy the rest of his lives alone, because there was no way that he was going to be a part of them, not anymore. Merlin had left his soul mate, his destiny, one cold February morning in 1924 and screamed at him to never try finding him, because he had had enough, he deserved better and if after over fifteen centuries he hadn't figured that out then Merlin was done. The then twenty-seven year old had been too stunned to respond as Merlin literally vanished before his very eyes, disappearing, leaving him to leave the last forty odd years of that lifetime without what destiny had long ago labelled his other half.

That had been almost ninety years ago, but Merlin remembered it like it was yesterday. He could remembered perfectly the colour of the tie that he had been wearing, the way his hair had been styled, the look in his eyes as Merlin had simply turned his back on the arrogant, unfeeling bastard, turned his back on over a millennia of love and devotion. And now he was sat in his flat lying on his sofa, minding his own damn business, legs draped over his flatmates knee, when said flatmate gave an almighty shout, scaring him half to death.

"What the hell was that for?" he grumbled hitting the stunning brunette next to him with a pillow.

"Just look at the TV," she said whacking him back before grabbing the remote that lay beside him and turning up the volume.

Merlin looked.

As soon as he did he wished he hadn't, because there he was. He looked almost identical to how he had in the 1920's, just a different haircut and outfit. But the build was the same and so was the cocky smile the git was giving the women he was talking to. What the hell was he even doing on Merlin's damn TV in the first place. He shouldn't be there. He didn't belong there. In fact he didn't belong anywhere near anything that Merlin owned. Yet there he was all blonde hair, blue eyes and the body of Adonis, or Hercules or at least some Greek hero, staring straight at Merlin through the TV screen, as if piercing his very soul.

"Oh Merlin isn't this great?" He had forgotten that she was there next to him. He had been hauled out of reality into his own little world as soon as he had seen who was on the TV. "I thought that it was just the two of us. That I was the only one to come back this time. Oh this is just brilliant!" She gushed, her excitement clearly showing as she blabbered on. "We need to find a way to reach him. Let him know that I'm back as well and that you're still around. He must be so desperate to see yo..." Her voice trailed off as something finally clicked in her head. She turned to look at him, a confused look on her pretty face. "How come you didn't know?"

"What'd you mean?" He asked, although he knew perfectly well what she was referring to.

"Merlin what aren't you telling me?" apparently he still had yet to master the 'I'm completely innocent look.' "YOU KNEW!" She all but screamed, jumping off the sofa and pointing an accusatory finger at him. "MERLIN AMBROSIUS EMRYS HOW DARE YOU KEEP SOMETHING LIKE THIS FROM ME!" She started to pace, which from lifetimes of experience he knew was not a good thing. "You always know when he comes back. You're weird sixth sense just for him goes into overdrive! I remember when we were in France in the 1500's and you were going crazy because you knew he was finally back, even if you had to wait till he got his memories." She stopped her pacing and looked at him and then the man on the TV. "Well this one's definitely got his memories back, so why the hell haven't you gone to him?"

He didn't respond right away, trying to figure out the best way to explain what had happened, how he had left. Would she understand? Or would she just tell him he was being stupid, holding a ninety year old grudge for no good reason?

"Merlin, I'm waiting." She was giving him death glares, and it made him wonder when the demure young girl he had first met had turned into the confident, independent young women standing before him. "Explain yourself!" Ah yes he remembered, that had only been an act to twist men around her little finger and get what she wanted.

"You know that no matter how you look at it I am significantly older then you right?"

"Stop stalling!" Damn she had seen through that one straight away.

"It's just it's a long story, and well I don't know where to begin." He was beginning to find the sleeves of his jumper rather interesting, he could still feel the heat of her glare on him. "It was his last lifetime, it was just me and him that time. Anyway we had and argument and fell out, and I... well I left." His voice had gotten smaller and smaller as he talked, barely a whisper by the time he had got it all out.

"What do you mean you left?" She asked sternly. It was clear she was trying her best not to yell at him again, so as not to get him to clamp shut on her. "And exactly how long ago was this?"

"Poof!" He said gesturing into the air. "I just vanished in to thin air, literally, and left him to his own bloody devices about ninety years ago" He was now resigned to the berating he was about to be given, it was inevitable.

"Ninety? As in Nine Zero? Are you kidding me?" She spluttered in disbelief. "What on earth possessed you to... I just... Ninety years and you haven't even thought to fix it?"

"Well it's not like he was alive for all of those years. I mean between 1965 and 1988 he wasn't about. Plus it's not like I could have done anything about it before he was eighteen and got his memories back. He wouldn't have had a clue who the hell I was!"

"That still leaves several decades Merlin."

"Would have been more if he hadn't have come back so bloody quickly." He muttered under his breath. "I mean twenty three years between reincarnations is just too ridiculously short an amount of time!"

"Usually you would have been ecstatic he came back so soon. I remember when we met up between his lifetimes before and you were complaining it had been over a hundred years." She replied with a smirk.

"But that was when I wanted to see him."

"Stop being such a baby Merlin you're over a millennia and a half old, at least have the decency not to sulk like a two year old."

"I'm being serious I really don't want to see him. Last time was the final straw. The two of us are done and he knows it. Please don't push this." He was almost pleading with her.

"You can't give up on everything that the two of you had after just one argument. Surely if you see each other again you can fix everything?" She had always been an optimist when it came to love, no matter what lifetime.

"But it wasn't just any argument. It was the same argument we have had in almost everyone of his damn lifetimes." He voice was filled with bitterness and sorrow. He stood up and made his way to the door. "I'm not changing for anyone, especially not him. He needs to stop being ashamed of me." With that he left a stunned flatmate trying to digest everything that she had learned over the last few minutes.

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merlinmerlinmerlinmerlin

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It had been almost a month since he had first seen him on the TV and now it seemed he was everywhere. His face was plastered across the side of what felt like every London bus. Every bloody magazine had him topless on the front cover. And every other damn advert on TV was for the new Hollywood Blockbuster he had somehow managed to land the lead role for. Nowhere was safe from him. It was as though he had decided to torture Merlin for leaving him by making sure there was no way that he could miss the fact he was back and just as damn gorgeous as ever. The prat.

If that wasn't enough his debut role into the world of acting was like some bad joke the bloody great dragon had conjured up. He was to be playing himself. And not just any version of himself. The original. The one from his first lifetime. The same damn one Merlin had first fallen in love with. It was like some big sick joke to make sure Merlin didn't forget who the hell he was and there history together. To make matters worse his supposed best friend and flatmate thought it was all hilarious and was giving him no sympathy. In fact she was going out of her way to buy every magazine he appear in and leave them conveniently lying around for Merlin to find. Sometimes he really did wonder why they were friends.

Today was no different.

He had gotten home from work to find the latest edition of Cosmo which declared it had "exclusive and never before seen" pictures of him lying on the kitchen table. Picking it up he began to walk into the lounge where he could hear the TV, calling out to his annoying flatmate.

"Look I know you think this is funny and all, but could you please stop buying these and purposefully leaving them lying around for me to find."

"Good afternoon to you too Merlin. Yes I did have a good day at work, thanks for asking." She responded without turning around to look at him. "I've got something you might want to see though."

"Oh is it another version of that bloody film trailer?" She had forced him to watch every single one the film company released. She seemed to get some kind of vindictive pleasure out of it.

"No its not. Now sit down and shut up." She grabbed his wrist and pulled him down next to her. "I recorded this over the weekend and only got around to watching it today. I think you are going to want to see it." She flicked through the Sky plus stopping on some chat show that he had seen advertised before and never watched.

"Can I at least get a cup of tea and get changed before I have to sit through whatever torture you are about to subject me to this time?" He enquired standing up.

"Yeah sure as long as you make me a coffee." She replied waving one hand at him dismissively as she fast forwarded through the show to the point she was looking for. By the time he came back through she had it paused on the presenter who was in the middle of making some form of gesture. "You ready now?" she asked.

"Yeah yeah just get on with it, I've got stuff I need to do tonight for work."

She just rolled her eyes at him and pressed play. "Please it's Friday, you don't have work again till Monday. Now sit down, shut up and don't think about moving until it is finished. Trust me you need to watch it all."

He nodded his head his acceptance. It was the best way to deal with her, just giving her what she wants. Diverting his eyes to the TV he frowned. It was a ruddy interview with him. She really was trying to drive him insane.

The interviewer went on for five minutes or about the new film, how its star had stumbled across the role, showing a clip from the movie and explaining the plot a little. Then he introduced Hollywood's latest heartthrob to join him on stage and Merlin just wanted to get up and leave. He really didn't want to see it. Sensing that he might bolt, she had put her hand on his knee, digging her nails in a reminder that she was still there, and she expected him to stay. Sadistic bitch.

The interview had been going on for ten minutes, ten agonising minutes. All that had happened so far was they had talked about his life, where he was from, that kind of general thing, as well as the movie and filming it. Merlin could not think of a single reason, apart from to be cruel, that he was being forced to watch this.

Well that was until, "So you share a name with the character you're playing, is there anything else you share? No potential Queen Guinevere hiding away is there?" Merlin thought he might vomit at the sheer cheesiness.

But the golden haired beauty just shook his head and laughed. "No I don't think Guinevere would have been my kind of girl, she's too unadventurous and demure. I prefer someone I can get into trouble with, you know maybe my very own Merlin, someone to add a bit of magic. My own Merlin is definitely what I'm looking for."

Merlin spat out the tea he was about to swallow.

"I told you that you would want to watch it." She had a triumphant smirk on her face. "He obviously misses you and wants you back. So now you have no excuse but to answer the personal ad he just broadcast across British TV in hopes of getting your attention."

"Yeah that won't be happening," Merlin announced as he got up. "Arthur Pendragon or Penn, whatever the hell he's going under these days can go jump off a cliff for all I care." As he walked out the room his eyes glowed gold and his jacket and keys came flying towards him. "I'm going to the pub. I suddenly have an overwhelming urge for tequila shots and a good fuck." He called over his shoulder, slamming the front door behind him as he left the flat.

The reincarnated Morgana Pendragon, the original half sister of the prat they had just been watching on TV, sighed. What the hell was she meant to do now? It was their destiny to be together, two sides of the same coin and all that shit the dragon used to spout. But whatever it was that Arthur had said to Merlin the last time they had been together, Merlin wasn't forgiving or forgetting anytime soon.

"Well if Merlin won't tell me what happened and contact Arthur, then maybe it's time that I did." She announced to the empty flat.

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Authors Note: So I have never written a modern au or a reincarnation fic before so please let me know what you think. I will do my best to update as much as possible but unfortunately real life and work come firsts (even though I wish they didn't.) Anyway I hope you enjoyed it.

Next time... Morgana is scheming. Arthur is on the hunt for Merlin. Meanwhile Merlin is determind to avoid him at all costs. Also some more hints as to what actually happened between the two of them... oh any maybe another familiar face or two will appear...