Disclaimer:I do not own The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya yada, yada, and all that other stuff.

Defying God: Chapter 1

"Okay guys! Listen up! I have an announcement!" yelled an overly excited Haruhi Suzumiya. I put a hand to my face. The self proclaimed "Brigade chief" of the controversial "S.O.S. Brigade" was at it again.

I sigh. What am I supposed to do? If I argue with Haruhi she'll create a closed space, and possibly destroy the universe. If I just stayed quiet she'll get frustrated because she'd think I was ignoring her, create a closed space, and possibly destroy the universe. If there is a brain in your head then you probably noticed the pattern by now:

Do everything Haruhi says or she'll create a closed space, and possibly destroy the universe.

Mikuru stopped serving me tea to look nervously at Haruhi. "T-This isn't another outfit for me is it…Suzumiya san?"

Haruhi frowned. "No it's not, but thanks for reminding me Mikuru chan!" Asahina san squealed.

"What we are doing is a cross dressing contest!" Haruhi shrieked.

I sigh. Why the hell would I want to do that? Of course a certain esper thought it was the greatest idea since sliced bread.

"What a marvellous idea Suzumiya san!" approved Koizumi, who got a nod from Haruhi.

Nagato merely looked up once and returned to her book again. As I looked closer I could have sworn I saw interest in her eyes. So Nagato was interested in cross dressing, hmm I better keep that in mind.

"Oh! I almost forgot! Did I mention the price is you can be brigade leader for a week?" said Haruhi in a sing song voice.

My eyes practically shot out of my eyes. The other's had similar reactions; even Nagato was all ears now. "A week, are you serious?"This better not be some kind of prank!

Haruhi nodded. "I'm always serious!" Yeah I know, but I just couldn't believe my ears!

"Are there any objections?" For once I didn't object. If I did Haruhi would have ignored me anyways…

"Okay! You have this weekend to prepare, and you better not even think about spying on me!" Haruhi shot me a glare as if she already caught me red handed. "I want my outfit to be a surprise…got that Kyon?"

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

After Haruhi's big announcement, peace returned to the clubroom once again. Nagato returned to her book, Asahina san was tidying up the room, Koizumi and I were playing checkers, and Haruhi surfed the internet.

After twenty minutes, Haruhi decided to let us go early because she needed to prepare for the contest. A chance to be brigade chief for a week, and an early dismissal, this was probably the best day of my life! Pitiful, I know.

As I began to leave, Koizumi put a hand on my shoulder. "Kyon, can I talk to you outside?" he asked, flashing me a plastic smile. I reluctantly agreed. This better be worth my time.

We walked up to the rooftop, and Koizumi handed me a drink he bought on the way here. After making sure he didn't put any knock out drugs in there, I sipped it. It was lime flavour, gross…

"What's on your mind Koizumi, something about you know who?" I said not out of concern, but because I wanted to get this over with as soon as possible.

"Yes it does concern Suzumiya san…or most accurately, the cosplaying contest next week" said Koizumi grinning at me like a perverted old man. I backed away a bit, he was way too close.

"What about it." Just get to the point damn it, I want to go home!

"Well…in the unlikely chance that you actually win, and become brigade chief, please don't let the power get the better of you, and upset Suzumiya san."

Oh I get it, if I start acting like a jerk then Haruhi…wait a second! Did he just say 'unlikely event that I actually win'?

I crossed my arms. "What do you mean by 'unlikely'" I said, pouting my lips. Now I was beginning to look like Haruhi. I shivered at that scary thought.

Koizumi blinked. "No, I just meant that Suzumiya san will obviously win…"

I shook my head. "Well, this time she's not going to have it her way!" I yelled, and I was delighted by the shocked look on Koizumi's face.

Koizumi just smirked. "Very well, but please don't forget my warning." After that he left me alone.

At this point I couldn't even hear the esper or notice him leave. I will definitely win, and when I do, I will make sure Haruhi gets a taste of her own medicine!

From this day on…I Kyon will defy God, and take her title!

Yay! My first Haruhi story that isn't a one shot! I still don't know how many chapters I will write though…anyways…please review! Your opinions are very valuable to me!

Cheers!

-MC Kun