So, do you ever start a fic and then discover it two years later, not yet finished? And then, do you ever mean to "finish up" that fic and end up writing four thousand more words and ending it in a completely different way than you originally meant to?
Yeah. That happened to me. And this fic is the result. Oops.
One quick note: In the movies, the Hulk origin is very different from in the comics. I like the comic book origin a lot better, so that's the one that I use in the fic. Other than that, everything should be correct according to movie canon.
Disclaimer: I don't own Avengers. Any dialogue you recognize is from the movie.
When Loki is marched past Bruce's lab on the helicarrier, smirking at him but also looking a bit pained, Bruce knows something went down. He almost wishes he had been there, but he also knows that unleashing the Hulk on a poor, unsuspecting town in Germany would be a bad idea. Still, he would have liked to see what happened.
The call through the communicator he forgot he had on the desk startles him, but not anywhere near Hulk standards. He scrambles for the little electronic and catches the end of Fury informing him and all the others that they should report to the bridge immediately. He assumes the message was mostly meant for him, as Steve and Natasha both went on the trip to Germany in the first place. He puts his glasses back on and goes to the bridge, not expecting to talk much during the meeting. He listens to Loki's little rant and tries to make himself as invisible as possible when he starts talking about the cage. When Loki calls the team "lost creatures," Bruce can't help but agree. There's Natasha, super-spy and SHIELD agent who used to be an assassin for hire, trying to make up for the bad that she's done. There's Steve, the man out of time that was frozen in ice for seventy years and doesn't know how to live in the twenty-first century. More recently, there's Thor, a god from another world and the brother of the villain they're fighting. And then there's Bruce himself, and "lost creature" pretty much defines him. He can't help but think that maybe they have no hope at all. He finds himself planning how exactly to get off the ship, avoiding eye contact with everyone else on the bridge. He makes a few offhand comments about Loki without even realizing what he's saying or how others are replying, then suddenly an idea comes to him. The iridium. Why did they need the iridium? Regardless of the new clue in the research, it doesn't seem like a good idea for Bruce to stay on the ship, not with everything going down the way it is, so he's still planning a way to escape, but he'll work until he leaves.
Then Tony Stark comes in.
His first words are about science, about the iridium that was stolen. Bruce almost smacks himself for not realizing the same thing Tony did. Then the famous superhero goes off-track and accuses some SHIELD agent of playing Galaga (Bruce is pretty sure he is playing it), and then he goes back to science. Bruce's contribution about temperature is quiet, but Tony jumps on it, dragging him into the conversation. It becomes a private little chat between himself and Tony, and Bruce can't help but do an internal double take when Tony tells him that he's huge fan of the way Bruce loses control and turns into a, quote, "enormous green rage monster," unquote. No one has ever complimented the Hulk before, and Bruce can almost feel the Other Guy purring with contentment. For a split second, Bruce wonders if Tony is flirting with him, but then he convinces himself that it's not true.
Though he finds he would like it if it was.
Yes, Bruce Banner is fairly certain he's already fallen for Tony Stark. He can't be to surprised; he knows about Tony's famous reputation for being irresistible. Bruce has always known he likes guys, girls, and anything else that anyone wants to identify as; gender isn't really much of a consideration for him. But no one he's ever met has ever made him feel like this. Maybe it's the fact that he can tell the Other Guy likes Tony as well. Maybe it's just his charisma. Maybe it's something about those deep brown eyes. But whatever it is, Bruce finds himself instantly attracted to Tony, and he can't help but wish that something could come of it. But, if the rumors are true, Tony's dating his assistant, Pepper Potts. He wouldn't be interested.
Well, even if there's no way Bruce could ever be with Tony in the more romantic way he would prefer, they're already fast friends. When Bruce takes him to his lab, he finds himself almost apprehensive at the thought of them being in there together. Will Tony approve of the work he's done so far? Bruce knows that Tony's mind is probably superior to his, and obviously Tony knows more about the most modern applications to science, both because most of them are his and because Bruce has been in Kolkata and a little removed from society. Still, Tony is as nice as could be, which is surprising, considering his reputation. There's an error in one of Bruce's calculations, which Tony points out. Bruce is incredibly embarrassed, but he soon finds there's no reason to be. Tony isn't being condescending about it at all. He doesn't make any remarks when Bruce's methods are a little old-fashioned, and he shows him how to properly use a formula Bruce hasn't seen before. All in all, Tony is nothing like he's said to be. There is some sarcasm, but only the friendliest bits are directed towards Bruce. There's a few more caustic remarks towards the others, namely Fury and, for some reason, Steve, but the best, and most amusing, comments are for Loki. Tony really doesn't like him. From what Bruce's heard, Steve probably would have lost against Loki if not for Iron Man's aid. Bruce would love to see the Iron Man suit that allows Tony to do the feats he does, but he's not going to ask if he can. He isn't sure if it would be considered rude to ask, or presumptuous. He would also love to get a closer look at the arc reactor he can just barely see under Tony's shirt, but that would definitely not be a proper question to ask. They've just met; Bruce can't exactly ask that Tony take his shirt off.
Apparently, he doesn't need to ask, as Tony begins to unbutton his dress shirt without a care. He picks up a bag he had dropped off by the door when he first entered the lab and pulls out a long-sleeved Black Sabbath t-shirt. Bruce watches out of the corner of his eye, feeling slightly guilty about it. Then again, if Tony felt self-conscious about this, he wouldn't be doing it in the middle of a lab where the door is glass.
The new shirt clearly shows the glow of the arc reactor and is much tighter than the button-down. Bruce blushes slightly and begins to check readings on the gamma radiation coming from the Tesseract.
"So, you really know your stuff when it comes to gamma radiation?" Tony asks, and it's another compliment. Bruce is slightly shocked. He normally doesn't get compliments. He gets frightened glances. He gets hands twitching for their guns. He gets a person slyly reaching for a weapon. Not a care-free compliment about his knowledge.
"I had to learn a lot for the experiment." Suddenly, Bruce wishes he hadn't mentioned the experiment that ruined his life. The conversation had almost been normal, then he had to bring up the one thing guaranteed to make it not so. But Tony surprises him again and doesn't act weird about it.
"I read up on it some last night, but I had limited time. I was reading the packet about the Tesseract. You read it too, I can tell."
"Of course I did," Bruce replies, and he realizes his voice is playfully affronted. He wouldn't do that with most people. He hides any emotions and definitely doesn't joke with anything close to anger. But Tony isn't scared. He banters back instead of freaking out.
"I bet no one else could understand it," he teases. Bruce shrugs.
"If they tried at all," he remarks in a mild voice. Tony looks at him and laughs.
"So you do know how to play, don't you?" Bruce only gives an innocent smile in return and Tony laughs even more. Then an agent enters and gingerly places a gold spear with a blue gem at the top on the table. He inclines his head slightly towards Tony, then Bruce, then he leaves. Bruce looks at the weapon they've just been given.
"What's that?"
"That, my friend, is Loki's scepter," Tony replies. Bruce instantly shies away from the weapon slightly. So this is what, according to Fury, turned Agent Barton into Loki's "flying monkey." Bruce wonders for a second why he's being trusted with this, as it's obvious that Fury trusts his control about as far as he can throw the Other Guy, and Tony's reputation means that someone who didn't know him well would probably be wary of leaving the weapon with him.
"It's because they have no other option," Tony states. Bruce jumps and looks at him in confusion. Tony inclines his head towards the scepter. "You were wondering why they gave us the Glowstick of Destiny." Bruce snorts at the nickname, but sobers as Tony continues talking. "They gave it to us because they have no where else to go. This thing might hold the secret to getting Barton and Selvig out from under Loki's influence. Fury might not trust us, but he wants Loki stopped, and he's willing to make a few sacrifices in order to do so." Bruce nods; this makes sense.
"Well, I just know that the second we've found the Tesseract, I'm going back to India and, hopefully, SHIELD will leave me alone," Bruce remarks. Is it his imagination, or does Tony look slightly upset at the thought of him leaving? It must just be a trick of the light.
"Or you could stay," Tony counters. "Give living in the new world a try."
"I have," Bruce replies, and his voice is slightly harsher. "After the experiment, I spent years all around the world, then I came back here. It didn't end well."
Then Tony does something Bruce never would have expected and invites the scientist to Stark Tower. Bruce doesn't take the offer, with a weak excuse of how he literally broke Harlem last time he was in New York. Then Tony jabs him in the side with some little instrument to see if he'll Hulk out. It's not anywhere near enough to make it happen, but Steve, who's just entered the room, doesn't realize that. He starts yelling at Tony, and Bruce realizes that, despite what Steve said earlier about not caring about him being the Hulk, he's uncomfortable around Bruce and just as tense as all the others. Tony begins to shoot sarcastic comments back at Steve, who seems out-of-place but is vehement about rules and orders. Bruce is reluctant to enter the conversation, but once both men have pressured him into speaking, he voices his observation: that maybe Loki's remark about a "warm light for all mankind" was intended for Tony. Steve doesn't seem to put too much stock in the idea, but the scientist in question seems to agree with it. Steve seems uncomfortable around all the technology that there's no way he could understand, and he's shocked at how easy Tony makes it seem to hack into S.H.I.E.L.D.'s databases. Bruce isn't surprised at all; he knows his newfound friend is a genius, and there's no way anyone could create a program that could keep him out.
When Steve finally leaves, the two men are alone once again, and is it just Bruce or is the chemistry between them almost tangible? Tony makes a few more sarcastic remarks about Steve and Bruce half-heartedly defends him. He understands how Steve feels. And he understands his caution about the Hulk. Tony has a nice sentiment about how the Other Guy saved Bruce's life, and as ridiculous as it seems, Bruce wants to believe it's true. Still, he can't help voicing his thought: what was the Hulk saving his life for? Surely, it wasn't so he could destroy homes and lives and kill people and run off to rural India to escape from himself. Tony smirks and the expression almost makes Bruce's heart stop. His reply sounds almost like he's flirting, and Bruce wishes desperately that he is, but it can't be true because Tony has a girlfriend. Tony has a girlfriend. Bruce is sure he's not the first person to bemoan that fact, and he probably won't be the last. But the fact is true, none the less. And nothing will change that.
The call from Fury over the communicators is almost welcome, but when Bruce hears it, he wishes it hadn't come. He looks up at Tony with a sheepish smile.
"Fury wants us to keep an eye on Loki. Apparently, he doesn't trust him, even in the cage, and we need to watch him."
"Can you go? I'll meet up with you in a second. I just have to finish this," Tony replies distractedly, and Bruce isn't even sure he heard him. But he goes to leave, as he was asked.
Bruce trudges towards the cage unwillingly. It's partially because he feels it would almost be better not to see the containment system that was set up for him, in case it angers him, but it's mostly because he really, really doesn't want to meet Loki. Everyone else already has, but Bruce thinks that with Loki's apparent talent for knowing exactly what buttons to push, putting Bruce in the same room as Loki seems like a bad idea. But he can't refuse a direct order from Fury, not when that man is the only thing standing between himself and another cage, or worse, a lab table. But when Bruce enters the room, Loki smiles coldly and Bruce is suddenly sure this will not end well.
"Ah, the monster," Loki states leisurely, sitting on the small cot. Why that's there Bruce has no idea; the Hulk wouldn't use it, and it wouldn't be of any help unless they planned on keeping him in there when he was normal sized- No, Bruce, don't think about that. "Is this what Fury has chosen to do to make me talk? Keep me in this cage while you enter and slip the tight leash you have over yourself? An ingenious plan, though I do not know how well it might work. I am no stranger to pain, you see."
"I'm just here to keep an eye on the defeated god," Bruce replies in what he hopes is a cutting voice. From the way that Loki's smile widens, it doesn't seem to have worked.
"So the mindless beast has enough wit about him to speak cleverly. Ah, but you are smart among humans, are you not?"
"A genius," Bruce replies tersely. "What's it to you?"
"A genius. Then how did you get yourself into this situation? Would a genius not have figured out a way not to be turned into a mutated freak by his own research?"
"It wasn't my fault," Bruce replies, his fist clenched at his side. "It was an accident."
"An accident, yes," Loki replies disinterestedly. "But should a self-proclaimed genius such as yourself not been able to make a safety to prevent such an…accident?"
"Do you want to know what happened?" Bruce half-yells, and he's pleased to see that Loki looks a bit worried. Of course, he's sure that hands all over the helicarrier are going to their guns, and he wouldn't be surprised if Fury's sending a half-dozen agents to the cage to subdue him, but he doesn't care. "Do you want to know what caused this accident? We were going to start testing when we realized there was a young boy in the testing area. His name was Rick Jones, and he was going to die if he didn't get into a safe spot. We had already started powering up. So I went out and got him to safety. The radiation hit me before I could get to safety myself. I saved his life, Loki, and maybe it turned me into this monster, but it saved an innocent young boy. I would do it again if I had to."
"A noble sentiment, I am sure," Loki replies in a bored voice. "Idiotic, though. And so like a hero. A mortal hero, no less. So quick to throw yourself into the path of a bullet for a stranger. Did you ever think, Dr. Banner, that perhaps, had you not saved this Rick Jones boy, he would be the one here right now, with eyes that, if I am not mistaken, look the tiniest bit green?" Bruce starts, focusing on his reflection in the glass. His eyes do look a little green, and he forces himself to calm down. If he loses control, the whole helicarrier goes down. And that includes Tony. If only for him, Bruce has to keep a lid on his anger. Loki smiles cruelly as the green washes out from Bruce's dark eyes.
"You have your emotions on a tight leash, doctor. Would it not be best to release them?" The words ring a bell, reminding Bruce of what Tony said before. You're tiptoeing, Big Man. You need to strut. But he has to, to use Tony's words, "tiptoe." Because if he doesn't, he could be damning an entire city. His gut twists as he remembers Harlem, where he and Blonsky fought and the city fell apart around them and people died and they screamed and he can barely remember it because he was the Hulk at the time, but he knows people died and it was his fault, goddamn it, and he can never atone for it, and why the hell is Loki smiling?
"Would it not be easier to let yourself be free?" Loki whispers. His accented voice is lulling, manipulative, deceptively harmless. "Letting the Hulk out would not be unlike the death you so desperately crave, Dr. Banner. Lose yourself in him. If you never turn back, you never have to deal with your actions. Guilt will never touch you again, nor will grief. Just let go."
"Not gonna happen, Reindeer Games," a loud voice proclaims, and Bruce almost sags in relief as he realizes it's Tony. Tony actually came. Despite Bruce's lack of faith in him, he's there. "You see, Brucie-boy here has a better hold on his emotions than that. He's not going to change into the Hulk because some second-rate little would-be conqueror asks him to. Next time, before you try and corrupt one of the most moral and incorruptible people I know, do your research," Tony snaps. He grabs Bruce's hand and drags him out of the room, and Bruce is only too happy to comply.
"Don't we need to watch him?" he asks softly, halfheartedly, as he gets pulled through the doors.
"No," Tony replies, his voice shaking slightly with thinly-veiled anger. "Fury sent you down there to try and threaten Loki."
"He didn't say anything about that!" Bruce protests. Tony lets go of his arm and Bruce realizes he's shaking a bit. He crosses his arms tightly to try and hide it.
"I know. See, Fury knew that if you were told to threaten Loki, you probably wouldn't do that good a job. So instead, he sent you down there to basically freak Loki out simply with the fact that you could beat the crap out of him in a second if you wanted to. I guess he thought Loki could be threatened by that sort of thing, even though - no offense - you don't look that threatening. Fury explained all of this to me after you left," Tony adds, answering Bruce's unasked question. "But, as Fury didn't use his brain, it never occurred to him that that might be playing into Loki's hands." Tony's clearly pissed, and Bruce wonders to whom it's directed. Tony looks at him and his eyes widen.
"But that doesn't matter. How are you? Okay?"
"I won't transform," Bruce reassures. Tony shakes his head slightly.
"Not what I'm worried about. Loki can hit a nerve very well. Did he do it to you?" Tony actually sounds concerned, and it's strange and almost forgotten, the feeling of having someone caring about him. In truth, quite a few of Loki's comments hit home, but Bruce isn't about to admit that. He shakes his head in response.
"I'm fine. I don't think he was really trying." A blatant lie, but a necessary one. Even though Tony does seem to care about Bruce, at least a little bit, the thought of an emotionally unstable Hulk would obviously freak him out, as well as everyone else on the ship. Tony frowns.
"You sure?"
The word that's supposed to come out is yes. The word that does is the opposite. "No," Bruce whispers softly, feeling tears prickling at his eyes. "What he said hit home. But it's not a problem."
"Like hell it's not," Tony thunders. For a moment, Bruce thinks he's going to figure out some way to get him into the cage, but he doesn't. "What the hell did Fury think he was doing, sending you in there with Loki? That stupid little son of a bitch could make anyone feel like shit."
"And it's dangerous when it happens to me," Bruce finishes. But Tony shakes his head.
"No, it's not that. You're a good person, Bruce. I don't care what you think about yourself. You are. And you shouldn't have to deal with that little bag of shit in there."
"Tony, really, it's not a big deal. I'm fine. No harm done." Then Bruce makes the mistake of unfolding his arms and Tony instantly realizes that his hands aren't steady.
"You're shaking," he says in a shocked voice. "I'm going to kill Fury. Who does he think he is?"
"Tony, please don't make a big deal out of it. I'm not worth it, not really. I'm leaving soon anyway, so it doesn't matter." And then Bruce's next sentence is cut off by a warmth on his lips. Tony Stark is kissing him. He is being kissed by Tony Stark. A tiny part of his brain, the small bit that's still logical, is protesting: Tony has a girlfriend, and they haven't even known each other for a whole day! But the rest of his brain shushes that bit and focuses on the kiss. It's a good kiss. It's really not fair to compare Tony to Betty, but Bruce's mind does it anyway and Tony's kiss is a million times better. He's a good kisser. Makes sense, Bruce supposes; he's had more than enough practice, considering Tony's track record.
Suddenly, Tony's tongue is pressing against his lips and they part without a conscious thought telling them to and the things Tony is doing with his tongue should be illegal, but thankfully they're not. Bruce can feel him in every part of his being, both the tangible and, well, it sounds corny, but maybe even the spiritual. He doesn't want this moment to ever end. And then-
"Oh God," Tony splutters as he suddenly pulls away. "Oh God. I'm so sorry, Bruce. I… Oh God." Bruce tries to cut in, to say he didn't mind, but Tony isn't listening. "Oh God, what is Pepper going to say?" he asks himself quietly, and Bruce's mouth closes without a sound. Because he can't compete with that. He can't ruin another person's happiness to secure his own. He refuses to do so. He's sure Pepper deserves Tony more than he does, and anyway, she was there first. Bruce steps back.
"It's alright," he says quietly. Tony's eyes fly to him. "We'll pretend it never happened. No one has to know." It kills him to say the words, but it's worth it to see the relief in Tony's eyes.
"Do you hate me for it?" he asks, and Bruce shakes his head. Far from it, actually, but he can't say that. Tony doesn't look quite as carefree as he did before, but he's better than he was a moment ago. He leads the way back to the lab, and Bruce forces himself not to cry as he follows him there. They're about to start working when Tony's phone beeps. He pulls it out with barely concealed excitement.
"Finally! I broke into SHIELD's system! About time, too." Instantly, Tony begins to sift through the newly acquired files. Bruce can't help but watch with him. Nothing seems to have changed between them, thankfully. After a moment, his eye catches something interesting.
"Wait. Go back." Tony obediently begins to flip backwards through the files. "Stop. There." It's about something called Phase 2. Both men stare at what it entails. Bruce slowly puts on his glasses, hoping that the words will somehow change with them on, but they don't. And he's horrified. He thought that some things SHIELD were bad, but this takes the cake.
And then Fury marches in to demand what they're doing and Tony begins to question him about this "Phase 2," just to make sure neither of them is misinterpreting the file. Steve arrives with hard proof: a gun made to work with the power of the Tesseract. Which SHIELD is planning on harnessing to create weapons of mass destruction. Personally, cynically, Bruce thinks there's no point; wouldn't it be easier just to aim him at the enemy and shoot at him? But then again, there would be no guarantee the Hulk wouldn't go after the agents themselves after he finished smashing whoever they aimed him at. But still, weapons made with the Tesseract? Bruce remembers Fury saying that Loki couldn't hope to control its power; if a god couldn't do it, how could they?
Soon, everyone's there and they're all talking and Bruce is being bitter and cynical and frankly, he's surprised no one's pulled a gun on him yet. Steve is being horrible to Tony and Bruce can feel his heart rate rise with every pained look that flashes across Tony's face, but he refuses to let anything come of it. He can see his friend's eyes occasionally darting towards him, begging him not to believe what's being said about him, and Bruce hopes he looks like he believes Tony, which he does. When everyone's talking again, he takes the time to try and bring his heart rate down. But it's hard; everyone is so loud and so angry that it's almost contagious. Somehow, they get on the topic of SHIELD's threat monitor, and at least Fury is tactful enough not to say who's the biggest threat - it's obviously the Hulk. And they're talking about chaos and Bruce is suddenly the dominant voice and he finally says what he's been thinking since the beginning; that they are not a team and never will be. But still, he's focusing on staying at least partially calm so as to not bring the entire helicarrier down. But finally, he explodes when Fury begins trying to defend having the cage on the ship, and everyone knows his excuse is bullshit, because everyone knows why it's really there.
"It's in case you have to kill me, but you can't. I tried," Bruce states in a harsh voice. And then, suddenly, everyone's eyes are on him and the look that Tony's giving him, this look of horror and sadness, will break his heart if he keeps his eyes on it, so he turns away. "I got low," he continues in a softer voice. "I didn't see a way out. So I put a bullet in my mouth, and the Other Guy spit it out." His voice is bitter again by the end, and he has to tear his gaze away from Tony somehow, so he continues. "So I moved on. I focused on helping people. I was good. Until you dragged me back into this freak show and put everyone here at risk." Bruce is dimly aware of the fact that he's gripping something, but he's not sure what. His hand feels heavy, but he's not sure why. "You want to know my secret, Agent Romanoff? You want to know how I stay calm?" He can't believe himself; he's half-threatening to turn into the Hulk, and Fury and Natasha both have their hands on their guns and they're ready to take them out and then Steve asks him to put down the spear. And Bruce looks down in shock to see that that's the weight that was in his hand, Loki's scepter, which is glowing a faint blue. He doesn't remember picking it up, but he's holding it all the same.
As he moves to put it down, the computer that's tracking the Tesseract beeps and Bruce crosses the room to it. "Sorry, kids, you don't get to see my party trick after all," he mutters self-deprecatingly before checking the monitor. And his blood runs cold. Because the Tesseract is in New York. It looks like it's at Stark Tower. And Bruce really, really doesn't want to go to New York again. But it doesn't matter; he's not fighting with the others. He's going to leave after this. No matter what.
Bruce looks up to tell the others what he's found when a giant explosion rocks the entire ship. He falls, already high heart rate spiking to dangerous levels. He and Natasha are in a lower part of the ship together and Bruce can't see anyone else, so he's understandably a little panicked. And then the Hulk starts fighting to come out.
Bruce fights as hard as he can. He has to fight; if the Hulk gets out on this crowded helicarrier…well, it's too terrible to even think about. It hurts like hell to try and prevent the transformation, but he can't stop fighting. His pain is nothing to the deaths that will inevitably happen if he lets go. But he's already on edge from the yelling and shouting and the horrible things Steve said to Tony and goddamn it, he's going to transform.
Natasha starts making promises that she can't hope to keep, all the while trying to extricate her foot from under a fallen pipe. She begins to swear something on her life and Bruce snaps. "Your life?" he bellows, because he's probably going to end up taking her life in a few moments, and really, what is her life worth? What is any life worth, when it can be gone so quickly?
Bruce's back arches in pain as he puts forth one last valiant effort to prevent the Hulk from coming out, but he can't do it and he feels himself begin to turn green and change from man to monster. With the last of his control, he looks back at Natasha with a sorrowful expression, meeting her terrified eyes, then he tries to scramble away. Then the Hulk takes over his persona and Bruce feels his personality shunted to the side. He can only see flashes of what's happening, and he knows that Natasha pulls out her gun but she shoots a pipe above the Hulk's head instead of shooting at him. Then Bruce's aware of something flying into the Hulk and he catches a glimpse of Thor's long hair before he's overtaken by the fury that is his alter-ego. And next thing he knows, Mjölnir is smashing into the Hulk's chin and it actually hurts both Bruce and the Hulk, then he doesn't know what's going on again and then there's an airplane shooting at the Hulk and the surge of anger is greater than before and the Hulk propels himself out of the helicarrier and onto the little airplane and then the plane explodes and he's going flying through the air and Bruce knows no more.
The next thing he's aware of is actually happening to him, not the Hulk; he's turned back. A security guard is talking to him and Bruce's first question is the obvious one: "Did I hurt anybody?"
"No one around here to hurt," the man replies. "You did scare the hell out of some pigeons, though." The relief that courses through Bruce's body is uncommon; it only happens when he finds out he didn't hurt people while he was the Hulk. He offhandedly remarks how he's lucky, then the guard says something that makes Bruce pause as he pulls on the clothes that he's given.
"Or just good aim." Bruce looks over at him. "You were awake when you fell," the guard elaborates. And Bruce wonders if it's possible; could it be that the Hulk purposefully chose that spot to land, because there was no one to hurt? It can't be, can it? The Hulk doesn't have that sort of aim, does he? And even if he did, why would he purposefully prevent hurting people when he's never tried before?
"You saw?" Bruce asks. The security guard nods.
"The whole thing," he replies. "Right through the ceiling. Big and green and buck-ass nude." He tosses Bruce some clothes, which he accepts gratefully. Then he asks a question Bruce isn't expecting.
"You an alien?"
"What?"
"From outer space, an alien."
"No," Bruce replies, looking a little confused. The guard nods.
"Well then, son, you've got a condition."
Bruce almost laughs; that's the biggest understatement he's ever heard. A condition? Yeah, he's definitely got a condition. A horrible condition that puts everyone around him in danger all the time. And he hates it. How could he not? His condition almost killed Betty, destroyed Harlem, ruined the helicarrier, might have killed someone (like Tony)… How can he live with himself with this condition, really? He's asked himself that before, but now the thought is prominent because he's probably caused even more deaths than he's already caused and damn it, how can he live with himself?
Go to New York, a little voice in his head tells him. He's been hearing it for a while. Stay with the others. They'll need help. They can't do it alone. You can help. The voice sounds surprisingly like Tony.
But I can't, he protests. He'll hurt people. He might be able to do the most good in New York, but that's also where he can do the most harm. He says as much to the security guard, who chuckles. "That's no different from anybody else," he replies. Bruce is struck with the idea. Is that true? He thinks for a moment and yes, it is.
Bruce isn't far from the city, so he hops on an old, slightly decrepit motorcycle that the security guard tells him hasn't been used in four years. He tells Bruce he's welcome to it, and it'll do the job. It does. Bruce makes it to the city (just barely; the motorcycle is wheezing and dying as he pulls up) and finds out that Tony has been expecting him. Despite everything, Tony has been expecting him, and that makes Bruce fall a little bit more hopelessly in love. Then he transforms and everything after that is a blur. He remembers a few things. It's mostly smashing. When the battle is finished and he changes back (and puts on some clothes that Tony loans him, because clothes are important), he sees the wreckage around him and can't help but wonder how much of it was caused by him.
"Most of it wasn't you," a voice says behind Bruce as he looks out at the city. He turns quickly to see Tony, now out of his ruined Iron Man suit, offering him a tired smile. "I'd say we all had equal parts in the destruction, but most if it was Loki and his army."
"Where is Loki, by the way?" Bruce asks. He has a vague memory of confronting Loki, but nothing beyond that. Tony's smile grows.
"The Hulk smashed him," he replies. Bruce's eyes widen. "You-"
"The Other Guy," Bruce corrects quickly. Tony nods.
"Right. The Other Guy threw him around like a ragdoll. Thanks for that, by the way."
"Oh." Bruce frowns, trying to remember something else. "And you, you were falling-"
"And you saved me," Tony finishes. "Thanks again." Bruce furrows his brow.
"I remember something, but I'm not sure exactly what it is," he admits. Tony shrugs.
"I took the nuclear bomb that the stupid SHIELD higher-ups sent to Manhattan and flew it through the portal into the main Chitauri ship. But my suit isn't made to be able to withstand going into outer space, so it wasn't working when I came back through. I was falling. From the way Steve said it, sounds like you jumped up, grabbed me, and brought me back down safely to the ground. Then, when the suit wasn't working properly, you roared and it somehow got things working again. I want to find out how, by the way."
Bruce shrugs. "No clue," he replies. "I'm glad you're okay, though."
"It's due to you," Tony replies. Bruce shakes his head, avoiding Tony's eyes.
"It wasn't me. It was the Other Guy," he corrects. Tony shrugs.
"If you insist," he replies. "I'm not sure you two are really that divided, actually."
Bruce feels cold for a moment. "We are," he replies stiffly, because that's the only way he can even have a semblance of dealing with everything that's happened to him. Tony seems to understand not to push it.
"Should we go get shawarma?" he asks. Bruce has a vague memory of Tony saying something about shawarma before, right after he woke up. Bruce has never tried shawarma before, but he figures now is as good a time as any to do it.
"Sure," he replies. "Why not?"
The shawarma restaurant is nearly empty - no surprise there - but they serve them anyway, especially considering Tony Stark asks for shawarma. Everyone's subdued and quiet as they eat. Bruce finishes his earlier than everyone else; transforming into the Hulk always leaves him starving. Tony seems lost in thought and barely touches his food. Bruce is still a little hungry as he finishes, but he doesn't want to ask for more. The employees are all working on cleaning up, and they're sitting in a companionable silence that Bruce wants to keep. Then Tony shoots him a tiny look, and it's all they need for Tony to tell Bruce that he can finish what's left of Tony's food. Bruce leans over to do so. None of the others seem to notice.
After shawarma, the team regroups on the helicarrier again. Loki is in chains and wearing a muzzle, which makes Bruce feel slightly sick; no matter how terrible he is, he doesn't deserve to be treated like an animal. He also looks beat up, and Bruce knows it's the work of the Other Guy.
"I will take my brother back to Asgard," Thor declares, not leaving much room for argument. "He will face justice there."
"See that he does," Fury replies, relinquishing control of Loki just like that. Bruce suspects he knows he can't fight a god, and at least this way, he gives up Loki on his own terms. Thor leads Loki off somewhere. No one follows.
"Romanoff, Barton, you two need to report to Hill," Fury tells the two agents. "Rogers, Stark, you're both free to go."
"What about Bruce?" Tony demands immediately. Bruce's heart catches in his throat. This is not their deal; Bruce was going to be let free to return to India after all of this!
"I need to talk to Banner for a moment," Fury replies. "Then, of course, he is free to go as well, if he so chooses."
"I'm staying," Tony states immediately. Steve looks from Bruce to Fury before sitting down at the table without a word, silently showing his support as well. Bruce doesn't think he's ever had friends this wonderful before. Fury's eyes narrow, but he says nothing.
"Dr. Banner, I have an offer for you from my superiors," Fury tells Bruce. The same superiors that ordered a nuclear strike on Manhattan? Bruce thinks bitterly, immediately alert, but he says nothing. The look on Tony's face shows that he's thinking the same thing. "They would like me to offer you a job with SHIELD."
"A job," Bruce repeats in an emotionless voice. Fury nods.
"You would have a position in our science division," he continues. Bruce can't tell how Fury feels about the offer from his tone or his body language; he's very good at being closed-off. "You would have access to any tools and formulas you need, and you would be able to do your own research on the side as well."
"And what's the catch?" Bruce asks, because there's always a catch. Fury pauses slightly, and Bruce isn't sure if it's for dramatic effect or for something far more sinister.
"My superiors would like for our scientists to do some research on you and-"
"No," Bruce interrupts. His chest feels a little too tight for his lungs. "My answer is no. Don't ask me if I'm sure; I'm completely sure. No."
"Very well," Fury replies. Bruce still can't tell if he's happy about this decision or not. "I'll relay your answer. You're free to go."
Steve gets up and leaves silently. Bruce flashes him a quick smile as he does so, to which Steve replies with a tiny nod. Tony positions himself right behind Bruce as they leave the room.
"Thank you for staying," Bruce tells Tony softly. Tony continues to follow him as Bruce walks to the room he was given when he arrived (which he barely entered, but the thought was nice, at least), intent on collecting his things. He's not quite sure where he's going next, but wherever it is, he'll need his bag.
"No problem," Tony replies easily. "So now what are you going to do?"
"I don't know," Bruce admits as he enters his little room. "I suppose I'll go back to India."
"What is it about India?" Tony asks curiously as he flops face-first on Bruce's bed. Bruce turns away to hide his smile, pulling his bag out of the little closet and stuffing clothes into it. "What's the appeal?" Tony's voice is slightly muffled by the pillows, which doesn't help the grin that's still tugging at Bruce's lips.
"I like to go where I can help," Bruce replies honestly. "I'm not technically a medical doctor, but I've got enough training that I can make a difference. Most of the people I treat could never afford a real doctor, but I don't need much. I'm willing to treat them for whatever they can pay, or a meal, if that's easier for them."
"Don't you ever wish you could help more people?" Tony asks, turning onto his side so his voice is more understandable. "Don't you ever want to start up a charity or a non-profit or something? You seem like the type of guy that would set up a non-profit."
"I'd love to," Bruce replies. "But where am I supposed to get the money to do that? It's not as if I can really get a job."
"You just had an offer," Tony counters. Bruce presses his lips together tightly.
"A job with no strings attached," he elaborates. Tony seems to mull over that for a moment, rolling over onto his back.
"Then here's an offer," he replies. Bruce's eyebrows jerk up in surprise. "Work with me. No strings attached, I promise. I'll give you all the materials you could ask for, plus more than enough money to start your little non-profit. Plus, I'll give you a free place to stay if you want it."
"And that place is?" Bruce asks. Tony throws his hands out, flopping them on the bed on either side.
"Anywhere you want. Stark Tower, my house in Malibu, a place in Kolkata if you're really desperate to back there. The world is your playground, or however that saying goes."
"You can't be serious," Bruce replies automatically. Tony sighs.
"People say that a lot. I'm not quite sure why no one thinks I'm serious. But I am, I promise. Come work with me, no strings attached."
"Why?" Bruce asks. Tony frowns, seeming confused.
"Why should you work with me? What, is my winning personality not enough? Come on, Bruce, I just offered to buy you a place wherever you wanted to go, give you whatever you needed, and give you the money to start a non-profit. What more do you want?"
"I'm not asking why I would work with you," Bruce explains, shaking his head. "I'm asking why you would want me to work with you." Tony shrugs.
"You're brilliant. You get my jokes. You deal with me admirably. Why wouldn't I want you to work with me?"
"I can think of one big, green reason," Bruce replies, turning away from Tony to finish putting his things in his bag. Tony raises an eyebrow.
"You think I'm gonna turn you away because of the Hulk? Need I remind you that the Hulk saved my life?"
"There's no guarantee that next time, he won't be the thing you need saving from," Bruce replies. Tony shrugs - he actually shrugs.
"That's a chance I'm willing to take," he replies nonchalantly. Bruce doesn't quite know what to do. He's saved from having to do anything when Natasha knocks on the door and opens it a moment later, not waiting for him to respond.
"Thor's taking Loki back to Asgard. Fury wants all of us to be there, just in case."
"We'll be out in a moment," Tony replies. Natasha arches an eyebrow before leaving the room.
"I'm done packing," Bruce replies, holding up his bag. Tony closes the door.
"Our conversation isn't done yet," he replies. "Will you work with me or not?"
"I need some time to think it over," Bruce replies, which is not what he was going to say. He was going to let Tony down gently and tell him that it wasn't safe, and while it was a great offer, he was going to have to decline. Somewhere along the way to his mouth, the words changed.
"Stay with me for a couple days," Tony offers. "You'll need a place to stay for the next couple days anyway. Stay in Stark Tower, and you can make your decision there."
"In the heart of Stark Industries?" Bruce asks with a slight joking tinge to his voice. Tony shrugs.
"What better place?" he asks.
"No inherent bias or anything," Bruce adds. Tony beams.
"None at all." Tony opens the door and Bruce steps through, going out into the hallway. Bruce and the others take one of the little SHIELD jets. Tony has them drop him off at Stark Tower and meets up with them a few minutes later, driving in a red convertible. Bruce is waiting with the Tesseract; he's supposed to "keep an eye on it" while the others get Loki ready to leave. Tony goes up to Bruce immediately.
"Where's your bag?" he asks. Bruce gestures towards the car with the SHIELD logo on the side. "Not very subtle, is it?" Tony asks rhetorically. Bruce snorts.
"And a red convertible is?" he counters. Tony shrugs.
"At least the convertible is classy," he retorts. "The SHIELD car is your stereotypical, I-am-the-government-and-I've-come-to-take-you-away-forever, black car. Red convertibles are a lot more fun. Anyway, at least it's not bright red. That would be ostentatious. This is more of a burgundy, which is a lot more subtle."
Bruce shakes his head, grinning. Tony starts fidgeting with his car keys. Bruce wonders how much longer Tony will last before he demands when the SHIELD agents will get this show on the road.
(It's one minute and approximately forty-three seconds, and Tony says almost exactly what Bruce thought he would. Bruce isn't sure how he's supposed to feel about the fact that his inner-Tony is pretty spot-on.)
Loki is sent away with Thor, and Bruce accepts his bag from Natasha before getting into Tony's convertible. They drive away, sitting in companionable silence as they speed towards Stark Tower.
"You're free to leave at any time, of course," Tony tells Bruce. "I told you there were no strings attached. You're completely free to do whatever you want. I hope that you'll stay with me, though."
"I'll try it out," Bruce replies as they pull up to Stark Tower. He plans to spend his next few days hiding his hopeless crush on Tony, seeing if they can just be friends without his feelings getting in the way, and doing what he needs to do based on the outcome of that experiment.
The next few days are, plainly speaking, hell.
Tony's way of conversing normally is what any other human being would call flirting, and the emotional whiplash of experiencing that and seeing Tony kiss Pepper minutes later makes Bruce's head hurt. It also makes him feel a bit sick. Clearly, as long as Tony continues to act in the flirty way he does, Bruce can't be comfortable staying with him. At least not now, while his feelings are so fresh. He'll leave for a while, then maybe he'll come back someday and be able to work with Tony without things being weird. But for now, he's got to go.
That is, if Tony doesn't have other ideas.
"I saw that you were booking tickets for Kolkata," Tony begins conversationally as he and Bruce work in one of Tony's marvelous laboratories. Bruce will definitely miss the labs and technology available in Stark Tower, although not nearly as much as he'll miss Tony himself. He'll miss Pepper too; she's kind and understanding, even if seeing her (especially with Tony) makes Bruce's stomach do strange twisting things.
"I'm going back," Bruce tells Tony. "I love your labs, and I love Stark Tower, but I think I'd feel more comfortable in Kolkata again."
"Really?" Tony sounds disappointed, which only makes this harder. "I thought things were going well."
"Things are going well," Bruce replies quickly. "It's very nice here. But I just…"
"If you're sure," Tony replies, still with a hint of disappointment in his voice. "I just kinda thought… Well, I like you, and I guess I got the impression that you like me, but-"
"But you're dating Pepper," Bruce finishes firmly. Tony looks up at Bruce with confusion in his eyes.
"Is that your problem?" he asks. "I talked to Pepper. I was going to talk to you when I saw that you booked the tickets."
"Please don't break up with Pepper," Bruce begs. Tony laughs.
"I'm not breaking up with Pepper," he replies. "But I like you, and she's willing to share, so I was wondering if you were too."
Bruce sinks into a chair that happens to be conveniently behind him. "Run that by me again?" he asks in a slightly faint voice. Tony comes over to his lab station, hopping up to sit on the desk.
"Well, I like you. I've liked you since I saw you. And I guess I thought you liked me. I mean, the kiss on the Helicarrier seemed to be a bit of an indicator, but if I read things wrong, I'm sorry." Tony pauses, but Bruce isn't quite sure he can talk, so he says nothing. Tony continues. "Anyway, I didn't want to do anything at first, cause I thought Pepper would be mad, and I did promise her monogamy. But I guess I wasn't quite as subtle as I thought I was, cause she confronted me on it and asked if I like you, which I do. And then we talked for a while, and basically, she said that, as long as everything is completely open and we don't have any secrets about our relationships, she's okay with me dating you as well as dating her. If you're okay with it, of course. And, if you ever want for all three of us to date each other, that's discussion is completely open too." Tony drops Bruce a wink, which really doesn't help his mental processes.
"So what you're saying," Bruce states slowly, once his brain has rebooted, "is that you want to date me and Pepper?"
"If you're okay with it," Tony adds urgently. To be fair, that part is important. "I mean, I obviously won't be able to spend all my time with you, since I'll have Pepper as well, and I'll still kiss Pepper and flirt with her and take her out on dates and shit, but I'll do the same for you. I'll try to keep it as equal as I can. And if you have a problem at any point, you can tell me and the three of us can figure it out."
Even sharing Tony is more than Bruce ever thought he'd get. "If both you and Pepper are sure you're okay with it-" Bruce begins.
"We are," Tony interrupts, grinning. It's fairly obvious where Bruce is going with it at this point.
"Then I'd love to share you with Pepper," Bruce finishes. Tony beams. "And maybe someday, I'll take you up on that discussion about all three of us dating together," Bruce adds, before he loses his courage. Tony's eyebrows raise, then he starts laughing.
"I take it the conversation went well, then," Pepper asks, stepping into the lab. She's dressed as impeccably as always, in a black pencil skirt and white blouse. Now that Bruce thinks about it, she is very attractive. And gender doesn't really matter to him; he's dated women and men before with no problem. He doesn't think it would be too hard for him to fall in love with Pepper as well.
"Pepper Potts, meet my boyfriend, Bruce Banner," Tony tells Pepper, pressing a quick and entirely unexpected kiss to Bruce's lips. "And Bruce Banner, meet my girlfriend, Pepper Potts." Tony gives Pepper a quick kiss too. He's beaming widely, looking excited. His enthusiasm is contagious; Bruce finds himself smiling as well, and there's a grin tugging on Pepper's lips.
"You're sure you're okay with this?" Pepper asks Bruce. "You don't have to do this if you don't feel comfortable."
"I'm comfortable with it," Bruce replies. "Are you? I mean, Tony was your boyfriend first."
Pepper laughs. "I always knew that a relationship with Tony Stark wouldn't necessarily have monogamy. I'm fine with it." Pepper gives Bruce a quick once-over that he wasn't expecting at all. "And if you ever want to include everyone in all parts of the relationship, I think we could work it out," she adds. Bruce blushes, but he's still smiling.
"I get the feeling this is going to be one of the best decisions I ever made," he blurts out. Tony and Pepper both beam at him.
"As long as you're happy, so are we," Tony tells him. He throws an arm around Bruce's shoulders and puts his other around Pepper's waist. And as Bruce revels in the feeling and watches Pepper gently place her head on Tony's shoulder, he can't imagine that he'll ever bring himself to regret making this choice.