Blaine belongs to the amazing writers of Glee and the other characters belong to the incredible writer of Dalton- Miss CP Coulter. This diary starts Blaine's first day at Dalton. I hope you enjoy this! Please review!
The book was an old classic black leather-bound book. There was no indication that the book belonged to Blaine Anderson or that it was his diary, because he didn't want anyone who found it to know it was his. He wrote in a classic cursive script, using an old-fashioned black ink pen.
September 1st
First day at Dalton... was better than I had expected, but still so different from Stanton. I miss the Fab 5. I haven't completely processed that Jude is actually dead and that he's never going to come back. They all say there are five stages of grief, and after four months I'm still in denial. I don't think I'm ever coming out of it. I don't know how these new kids at Dalton will ever be able to understand me without knowing about Jude. I can't tell them of course... I wish I could be with all of them again-Shane, Rebecca and Micah- because even though it would be harder in some ways, even though they would remind me desperately of Jude, it would be easier because they would understand. Here, when I'm quiet and not at all myself, I'm afraid afraid that they judge me. Anyway, I want to start completely fresh here. No one going to find out I'm gay and I'm going to be normal and confident for once. No one can stop me here because I'm away from those bullies and
I'm away from dad.
I still can't believe dad reacted like he did though. I expected him to throw me out. I expected him to yell at me and push me around – that did not come as a surprise- but I can't believe what he did to Micah. Does he have any idea how hard it is to come out – nonetheless to be forced to come out by your boyfriend's homophobic father? Or wait, I forgot – he just doesn't care. I will never forget the look on Micah's face when he left. He was in shock. Now he's at some boarding school in North Carolina where they are all trying to "straighten him out." I feel so guilty about all of it. He'll probably never talk to Shane or me again. And now Shane can't even see Micah anymore, after all that's happened. It's all my fault! I should have thought of something else. I just couldn't watch Shane come out to dad though. That would have been too much. I know Shane. He wouldn't have been able to handle it – as it is, I'm barely handling it – and it would have broken him. Shane feels everything so strongly. He's not as careful as I am.
Trying not to think about the past too much though...I'm in Windsor house at Dalton. There are two other house, from what I've been told, called Hanover and Stuart. Apparently Windsor has a reputation for being a bit crazy, and I have to say that the boys here are a little intimidating. There are two twins named Even and Ethan, although I can't tell them apart, and they give people nick-names from Alice in Wonderland. I'm the white rabbit? I have no idea why. I think they're a little bit crazy.
Charlie greeted me today and welcomed me to Windsor. The real prefect isn't here, so he's called the acting prefect which means the temporary prefect. It's all so formal here. I feel like I'm at Hogwarts. My roommate is David, and he's been very nice to me. He's also extremely neat, which is a great trait in a roommate because I hate when people are messy. He's been friendly, but he usually hangs out with a Hanover named Wes, who seems to spend more time in Windsor with David than in his own house.
There's also this guy in Windsor named Joshua who is really nice and friendly. I was so lost today. I'm the clueless new kid who doesn't know anything, so it's nice to know I have at least one person who will show me around if I get lost.
Also, today I saw the "Warblers" perform. That's the Glee club here. It's weird though because they are respected here...not at all like at Stanton. People who like singing are actually cool here. It's going to take a while to get used to that. I will probably audition for the Warblers eventually but for now I just need to get used to life at Dalton.
There was also this guy Logan, who sings with the Warblers. He is absolutely gorgeous. His eyes are bright green and he's blond – I'm always a sucker for blonds...Anyway I might have been reading into things, like I always do, but I get the feeling that he knows. It's like he can see right through me; like he knows I'm gay and he knows I like him. I need to be really careful though because no one can find out I'm gay. I was too obvious today, staring at him during the Warblers performance. Well, he was the lead singer though so maybe it wasn't too obvious. Better safe than sorry, though. I won't make any mistakes again. I cannot handle any more bullying or teasing, and I can only hold up this "I'm fine, everything is fine" act for so long.
Plus, it's not like I'm looking for a relationship or anything right now. That's the last thing I need at a time like this. What I'm feeling for logan is just a crush. I don't even know him. I just think he's cute. I don't even know if he's gay! He could have a girlfriend for all I know! And I am not the kind of gay guy who falls for the straight guy and then cries when it doesn't work out. It's nothing. I'll forget all about him, and ignore him and steer clear. It shouldn't be too hard because he's in Stuart house – Windsor's rival house.