Disclaimer: Nada.

Justin woke up around noon. He was watching wrestling matches until 4:23am exactly, so it was understandable that he was really freakin' tired. Justin strolled out of his room and made his way down to the kitchen and looked in the refrigerator for some mountain dew, it was his favorite drink and the only thing that he would drink, indeed. Mountain Dew to Justin was like crack, in green liquid of some kind. There wasn't any left and this pissed Justin off because he lived with Owen, Trent and Lindsay and even though none of them liked Mountain Dew, so they wouldn't have touched in the first place, he was sure one of those 3 assholes did it and that someone should get him more.

Why the hell was he living with Trent, Owen and Lindsay? Well, Owen thought Justin was hot, Lindsay thought she was living with Tyler and they were all living in a house with Trent, who was the original owner of said house. He just felt bad for them, now he was starting to regret his choices.

Everyone was supposed to pay a part of the rent to stay there. Lindsay became a waitress at hooters and worse skimpy outfits to pay her way. Trent was playing gigs at a bar, even though he was underage, to be exact so he couldn't drink beer, even though that's all Trent ever drank because he was a real man, Justin was proud of Trent's 'Maturity' and approved of his underage drinking habits. Owen just went dumpster diving for food and old furniture to bring home. Trent felt like they should have been on that show for hoarders since Owen moved in. Then there was Justin, the single handed most sexiest better than that Ale-Wannabee-Justin-Loser-dro, he was so hot that he didn't have to work a day in his life because Owen garbage picked enough for the two of them. He got laid off as a model when Alejandro joined the show, that's why he hated Alejandro, because he always stole things that Justin was entitled to such as...Heather, modeling gigs, a second season, good looks, mountain dew, his mirror and or course hot wings. Alejandro didn't like or want any of those things, except for Heather, a second season and the good looks, he took it all just to spite Justin and that just wasn't right!

Justin hated his life, without his afternoon mountain dew his day was ruined, the only way this day could get better is if MLP: Friendship is Magic was on! It was Justin's favorite show! He adored Pinkie Pie and Apple Jack and he was really good friends with them on facebook! Trent told him about 9 times that talking colorful ponies weren't real but Justin insisted that they were because why would people go on the internet and lie like a bunch of douchey liars?! If they said they were real then Justin believed his friends. Trent was also going to sign Justin up for that show 'Catfish' when he got played.

"Hiiiiiiiiiiiii John!" Lindsay slammed the door shut. "I just went shoe shopping! Do you wanna see my new shoes?"

"it's Justin, oh did you buy me some mountain dew?!" Justin asked her. "I really wanted some, but the store is all the way down the street...like a good 5 minute walk..."

"No, I don't like that stuff." Lindsay "Maybe guitar playing Tyler can get you some?"

"Hey Lindsay, Can I see your hairbrush?" Justin asked her.

"Sure!" Lindsay handed it to him. He took her hair from the brush, smelled it and then placed it in his pocket. This would go nicely with the collection he was keeping in his room of Heather's hair. He follows her when she gets her hair trimmed, he pays them $20 to give it to him. Lindsay was creeped out, so she went to her room and locked the door.

An hour later Trent walked in the door with his arms full of grocery bags. Justin did nothing to help him and watched as Trent dropped 2 bags on the floor and Trent glared at him.

"It was only the eggs that fell." Trent rolled his eyes. "Nothing too bad..."

"Hey man, did you get me mountain dew, buffalo wings and porn?" Justin asked him. "Oh, how about those new MLP fruit snacks?"

"They only had star wars so I got you those." Trent threw the box at him. "They taste the same."

"Yeah, but they aren't shaped like ponies and cutie marks..." Justin reminded him. "Hey, why did you put parental controls on the TV? I wanted to watch that super awesome wrestling match tonight on Pay per view."

"We don't have the money, Justin." Trent sighed. "We can't afford to buy this crap..."

"Yeah, but it's wrestling." Justin told him. "I like wrestling."

"Yeah? Well I like watching Pokémon, but I can't watch it because you're always watching the TV." Trent told him. "You need to get a job."

"I will get a job, maybe someday, indeed." Justin told him. "You can count on it! Right now, I just want to write on a site called , speaking of that, Trent do you know you put a password on your computer and I can't use it now?"

"Yeah, I put it on there." Trent sighed as he put the groceries away.

"Why?" Justin asked. "That's not very fair to me! I demand respect from the people in this house themselves!"

"What the fuck does that even mean?" Trent asked "I swear to god, I need to have an intervention for everyone in this house! I know someone who is getting a dictionary for Christmas..."

"I'm going to go to the library then." Justin told him. "Can we have buffalo wings for dinner?"

"We had them last night." Trent sighed. "So, no."

"Can I have $20 bucks to get some?" Justin asked and Trent gave in and gave him the money.

"Be home by 8." Trent sighed as Justin yelling that he was 'Winning' the whole way out the door.

It was after Midnight and Justin was coming home late, Trent was going to be mad because Justin got arrested again for grabbing the boobs of someone who looked almost like Heather in a sexy stripper outfit, only she wasn't a stripper she was a nun and she was a ginger and looked nothing like Heather, however Justin couldn't tell the difference because he had buffalo wing sauce all over his face and he was shit faced drunk. He ended up getting arrested and tossed in the drunk tank, he called Heather to bail him out, however that got him arrested again because she had a restraining order against him.

Justin loudly and obvious to anyone who lived on the street heard him as he tried to climb through the window to avoid getting caught. He laughed to himself and whispered 'Winning' as he fell down loudly into the garbage cans, like the rock body slamming someone hard, to be exact.

Trent got up to take a shit and saw Justin trying to get in, Trent did the only thing a person could do and called the cops. This was Justin's 3rd offensive offence of the day, the police were so pissed, they fined him 10,000 dollars but he couldn't afford it since he had no job and was way too unpopular to even get another shot on being on Total Drama. Everyone secretly loved the fact that Justin was in jail and nobody bailed him out...ever.

I laughed while I wrote this. If you think this applies to you, then you are most likely right. This is obviously a work of fiction because nobody could be this obnoxious, right?