What… have I done? This is my first fic for Dragon Age, and it's pretty much complete crack. It's very out of character for me, so I need practice. I've personalized the lyrics to fit. The song is 'Gives You Hell' by The All American Rejects and if you haven't heard it you should be ashamed of yourself.
Summary:
Hawke gets drunk- really drunk. He decides to sing a song about something that's been plaguing his mind for a while. Isabela encourages him, Anders is laughing too much to think straight, and Merrill is very confused. Fenris, however, is not impressed.
Why was he here again? Fenris sat slumped in the corner of the Hanged Man, just enjoying drinking something more potent than wine, when he came in. It wasn't surprising; two of his closest friends lived in the pit, but it was unpleasant. He was obviously drunk before he even came through the door, leaning on Isabela while they both swayed and laughed at something that probably wasn't even the slightest bit funny. He stared at them for a while, feeling something new to him… jealousy, was it? He should be the one trying to keep Hawke from killing people while he was absolutely smashed- not Isabela! Fenris was an idiot to leave him.
He watched intently as Hawke was sat down on a barstool and was given a glass of water by Corff, which he promptly tipped onto the floor. His babysitter giggled, threw the bartender a coin and proceeded to buy Hawke more alcohol. A foolish decision, Fenris thought, but he hadn't had enough to drink to go and speak his mind.
Then, as if to make everything worse, the two most insufferable mages he had ever met walked in, apparently half-heartedly arguing over something. Probably Merrill's use of blood magic, or Anders' plight of mages. But the thing that ruined his day completely was when the pony-tailed abomination caught his eye and pointed out his presence to Hawke. A mischievous grin and quite a lot of stumbling later, the dark haired warrior was on top of table. Idiocy. Utter foolishness. Fenris stood up to leave when he heard something he could have sworn was impossible.
Hawke was singing.
I wake up every evening
With a big smile on my face
And it never feels out of place.
Where was this going? Fenris had a feeling it wasn't anywhere good.
And you're still probably squatting
Up in your Hightown estate
I wonder how bad that tastes
Maker, Fenris thought, what is he doing? A quick glance around the pub showed that all eyes were on him or Hawke. Fenris made for the door, to be stopped by a number of patrons surrounding him. His former lover was clapping his hands above his head and beckoning for the entire bar to join in. They did.
When you see my face
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell
It isn't you face that's giving me hell right now, the sardonic little voice called from somewhere in his head, it's your singing! The blonde may have called it out, if he didn't feel like he would stutter, or do something equally embarrassing.
Now where's your lyrium fist, love?
And where's that shiny sword?
Did it ever get you far?
Hawke had… personalized the song. Just for Fenris. He felt like a rabbit cowering from a predator, unable to run or fight back. He had never been so humiliated, in all his years with Hadriana. If he didn't get out soon he would hit someone. Or tear out their heart.
You always seem so tense love!
Never seen you fall so hard
Do you know where you are?
Of course I know where I am, I'm stuck in a piss pot of a bar being publicly humiliated. How could I forget? asked that little voice again.
And truth be told I miss you
Fenris' jaw dropped, and guilt pooled in his stomach.
And truth be told I'm lying
Fenris' fist curled, and anger burned in his eyes.
When you see my face
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell
If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool, you're just as well
Hope it gives you hell!
Isabela couldn't believe her eyes or ears. This was the most hilarious thing she had ever seen, by miles! She was laughing so hard she was forced to use the bar for support, until Merrill saw her falling over herself and helped hold her up. She called up encouragements to Hawke every few seconds just for fun. This was priceless!
"I don't get it." Merrill whispered, "Doesn't Hawke still love him?"
Isabela laughed even more, before finally forcing herself to reply. "Kitten, he loves him alright, but he needs to get back at Fenris for leaving him. I guarantee this will lead to some drunk make up sex!"
Blushing, Merrill giggled and went quiet, watching her friend launch into a new verse.
Tomorrow you'll be thinking to yourself
Where did it all go wrong?
But the list goes on and on
Tommorow, Fenris imagined, I'll be thinking about the best, most painful ways to kill you.
Truth be told I miss you
Maybe not.
Truth be told I'm lying
Yes. Definitely. Maybe with your own maul.
When you see my face
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell
If you find a man that's worth a damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool, you're just as well
Hope it gives you hell!
Anders couldn't even see straight. Varric had appeared at the top of the stairs, woken up by all the drunken chanting, and the mage practically charged over to him to explain. They were both sitting on the steps, trying to stop themselves from rolling down and making sure that they got in a few breaths. They didn't even have to speak to know that they were both witnessing the funniest thing they would ever see. Anders wished Ser Pounce-A-Lot were with them.
Now you'll never see
What you've done to me
You can search for your memories
They're no good to me
The elf was wondering whether to kill something or... kill something slower. How could Hawke bring that up? In front of a whole bar of drunken idiots, no less? In a SONG, no less?
And here's all your lies
You can look me in the eyes
With the broody look
That you wear so well
Varric saw Fenris flex his knuckles at the mention of his signature emotion. The elf grabbed a tankard of ale and downed it, slipping back onto a chair. He certainly looked broody enough. Hawke called for everyone to join in on the last chorus and the entire pub did so willingly, as best they could between laughing hysterically at the Amell heir.
When you see my face
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell
When you walk my way
I hope it gives you hell, I hope it gives you hell
If you find a man that's worth the damn and treats you well
Then he's a fool you're just as well, hope it gives you hell
When you hear this song and you sing along, well you'll never tell
And you're the fool, I'm just as well
I hope it gives you hell
The problem was, it really did put Fenris through hell. He stormed out as Hawke fell off the table, passing out. One quick glance back showed Varric, Isabela, Anders and Merrill, all struggling to hold up the warriors huge frame.
Hawke's head was pounding unpleasantly. He had heaved repeatedly and Anders had to run around getting him buckets and water and new books to read. It was easily the worst hangover he had ever had. Isabela, Varric and Merrill had all come to see how he was, and they looked at his caretaker with a mirth in their eyes that tipped him off that they had some sort of joke running.
He had a sinking feeling in his stomach that he had done something very stupid. If he found out he'd slept with Isabela, by the Maker he was going to go out and kill something. Preferably a Qunari or Blood Mage. Or Fenris. In fact, he decided to go kill something now. Screw the hangover, he need to get his maul and smash something really hard.
"Anders," He called, staggering out of his bed, "I'm fine now. I'm going to kill something."
"Right, I'm no longer needed then. Just… Don't go near Fenris. Ever again." And Anders walked out the door.
"Maker, what have I done!"