Spock honors his mother, and Jim decides to take a chance with his own. ^_^
Dedicated to my mother, for being so kind and wise and always supporting me. Happy Mother's Day!
~One-Year Anniversary of The Battle of Vulcan~
It is telling that, even one year later, his heart still aches whenever he thinks of her.
Wordlessly, he takes a seat in the nearly-filled church, nodding to his distant relations on her side of the family. He listens as the priest begins the memorial service with appropriately solemn yet not gloomy or depressed words, stares at without really seeing the hymns and verses printed in the proudly hand-bound books set in their pews, and smoothly gets up when it is time to receive the honor of lighting the first candle.
His features do not break, his mask does not crack, his feelings do not overwhelm - he remains the model example of emotionless Vulcan throughout the service.
He supposes they can no longer taunt him for having a human mother.
Suddenly, unbidden, a memory of then-Cadet Kirk surfaces from his subconscious: "You never loved her!"
It was true. He never told her he loved her. Instead, he simply endeavored to remain stiff, formal, emotionless always around her, in sharp contrast to her "illogical Human ways."
What is the saying? "Hindsight is twenty-twenty?" Indeed, he wishes for nothing more than to see her for the one-point-seven seconds it would take for him to say those three little words: "I love you."
Cadet Kirk was right. It shames him that a brash, cheating, mere Human in two days' time figured out what he, Spock, did not realize his entire life-
No. Cadet Kirk, now Captain, may be many things- usually overconfident, often childish, sometimes irritating- but he is not stupid. Never stupid. In fact-
"Spock?"
He looks up from the plaque made in her memory and is more than a little surprised (and pleased as well) to see the subject of his thoughts standing there in front of him, agitatedly wringing his hands.
"Are... are you alright?" his Captain asks almost hesitantly, blue eyes flickering with a rarely-seen emotion in James T. Kirk: uncertainty.
"I am adequate, thank you, Captain," the Vulcan replies, dusting off his pants and getting to his feet.
"Good, that's good," Jim replies quickly, seemingly distracted as his gaze darts around the emptying church. Spock's suspicions are confirmed when the Captain leans in toward him and begins, in a low voice, "Listen, d'you need to go anywhere after this?"
Spock blinks at him. "Captain, our shore leave still has seven hours and thirty-nine minutes remaini-"
Jim waves him off impatiently. "You know what I mean, Spock. Do..." he hesitates, and there it is again. This strange uncertainty in James T. Kirk, of all people.
"Would you like to go out to her grave with the rest of us? I mean, the Bridge crew? That's where I came from, you know," he babbles on, gesticulating wildly, "we figured you might want to go see by yourself, in private, but before that we also wanted to pay our respects, and she truly was a remarkable woman, so-"
"Jim," Spock stops him gently. The blond's eyes widen at being called by his first name, then a huge grin spreads over his face. Spock continues, "I am grateful that you and the other Alpha shift Bridge crew members came to honor my mother. I would be happy to accompany you for the remainder of this shore leave."
He knows it's the right thing to say when Jim's face brightens into that rare state of his being not just happy but genuinely overjoyed.
"That's great!" his Captain enthuses, hooking an arm around one of Spock's as he half-drags, half-pulls his XO toward where the rest of the Bridge crew are gathered by the entrance to the cemetery. "And by the way, you did love her. We all know it."
Spock glances sidelong at him. For once, the customary lightness in the man's electric blue gaze is nowhere to be seen as he replies solemnly to Spock's unspoken query, "The look on your face when you were beamed back up to the Enterprise and she wasn't, Spock. That was proof enough for us. It should be for you, too."
And with that, he breaks into a run, fluidly unhooking his arm from Spock's at the same time as he whoops and yells his triumph in "getting Spock to lighten up" and go along with the rest of the senior staff.
In spite of himself, Spock feels the corners of his lips twitching stubbornly upward. Gazing up into the bright blue cloudless sky, he feels the last vestiges of melancholic mourning leave him forever, leaving him lighter than he has felt in years.
Wani ra yana ro aisha, Mother, he thinks fondly, before striding quickly over to where his fellow crew members- no, his friends- eagerly await him in the wake of Jim's exuberant news. He will always remember, but no longer with sadness; instead, he determines, he will honor her memory daily by striving to perform his best for this crew, this family.
From just above, Amanda smiles down upon all of them. Wani ra yana ro aisha, Spock, she whispers, sending her angelic benediction before ascending back into eternal bliss.
~Ninety-two Hours After The Battle of Vulcan~
Jim Kirk stumbles into his (temporary) quarters, barely keeping himself upright. As he gratefully sinks into the comfortable desk chair, his abused muscles finally relent, and he allows his head to rest in his hands for a brief moment.
Billions of lives... all my fault...
Gaila's laughing face flashes before his eyes, before it becomes a replay in his mind along with Vulcan's destruction, Nero's mocking sneer, and the carnage of the seven- dear god, seven full-blown Federation ships- just above Vulcan-
His comm chirps, and he near jumps a foot in the air, swearing up a storm at the sudden fiery pain in his chest, then quieting alarmingly quickly when he sees who it is. She shouldn't, couldn't know... how does she even have his comm number...?
His expression closes off abruptly, and he's just stood to go take a shower and finally get some well-deserved sleep when a second comm comes in. He squints at the screen- you know you need some rest when the LED display blurs in and out of focus- and frowns. Uhura, comming him? Well... he supposes it can't be worse than the other one...
"Yeah," he grunts, wincing in pain and biting back an expletive as he leans too much on his right leg- should've let Bones patch that up earlier- while trying to stand properly.
"Captain? Are... you alright?" the Communications Officer's voice patches through, slightly hesitant. Frowning, Jim stares at the comm screen again. Did he really just think that? Nyota Uhura, hesitant? He shakes his head bemusedly. Well, he supposes there's a first time for everything.
"-aptain? Are you still there?" she's asking when he returns his focus to what she's saying.
"Sorry, Lieutenant, just got distracted for a moment there," he responds wryly, waiting for her dismissive snort and predictable swish of her ponytail as she tosses her head.
Neither happens.
"Riiiiiiiight," she says instead, skepticism (but also... is that... concern?) apparent in that one syllable (she isn't the Acting Comms Officer for nothing). "I was just comming to report that all the crew have been given opportunities to contact their families, sir..."
"Excellent, Lieutenant," he offers as he inspects the bruising around his throat in the bathroom mirror. "If there's nothing else, make sure to take at least two shifts off- oh, Spock needs to do that too! Don't let Spock-"
"Captain," she interrupts, though not impatiently. "You're the only one left."
"I... what?" he asks, feigning misunderstanding, though he feels a cold block of ice settle around his heart at what she's going to say next.
"Captain, everyone else has contacted their families already. There's no need for you to put the crew before yourself anymore. I can give you fifteen minutes of uninterrupted video transmission time, on a private feed if you'd like, and-"
"That will not be necessary, Lieutenant, but I appreciate your time and effort," Jim cuts her off brusquely, inwardly cringing at the overly harsh tone of his words.
Uhura takes a deep breath. "Sir, with all due respect, I've been ordered multiple times- by you as well as the Admiralty- to make sure everyone still on the roster gets adequate time to communicate with their families, and I can't in good faith-"
"Yes you can, if I give you my personal consent," Jim says sharply. "And I do. So don't fret about it anymore, Lieutenant. Check it off your list, send your report off to the brass, then get your butt out of that seat and back to your room for some sleep before you crash. And Spock, too! Don't let him feed you that 'Vulcans require less sleep' crap because he's been through more than all of us and-"
"Captain, this is your family we're talking about!" Uhura cries, sounding outraged.
"Not all families are blood-related!" Jim yells as he slams a fist on the bathroom countertop, then hisses at the pain from popping a stitch (or two, or several...). He inhales and exhales deeply several times, trying to regain his equilibrium. "Lieutenant," he continues much more quietly, "my true family is all aboard this ship. In fact, my biological family will probably be disappointed I'm not dead. Is- that- clear?"
For some reason, her voice sounds irrevocably sad in her two-word reply, "Crystal, sir."
"Thank you, Uhura," he murmurs, purposely softening his voice and letting some of the exhaustion sound. "Make sure you and Spock get some rest, now."
"I- yes. Thank you, Captain." There's a pause, then she finishes, "You know, sir, a lot of things change when it's possible to destroy an entire planet within a few seconds. Just... give it a try. Please."
A heartbeat of silence, then Jim heaves a deep sigh and limps heavily over to the computer terminal. "Fine," he grumbles, "but don't say I didn't warn you..."
From the still-open comm, Uhura hears his uncertain greeting of "Hey Mom... long time no see..." as well as the enthusiastic feminine shriek in response, and smiles.
Hope everyone had a fantastic Mother's Day!
I posted this separately because one, I didn't follow a prompt this time, and two, Uhura and Winona are portrayed in a much more positive light in this oneshot. Don't worry, there'll be a JTK Files update soon. ;)
Thanks for reading! Let me know what you thought of it!