It was the third time today. Audrey leaned over the toilet and threw up again. Afterwards, she leaned against the seat and sighed. It was her way of letting go of all the stress, depression, and of course, the fat. She could still hear Alice's voice ringing in her head - "Fat, Fat, Fat. Audrey Posen, you are one of the fattest girls I have ever seen."
Yes, yes, it was good that she was getting rid of those calories. But if it was good, why did she feel so awful after doing it?
She checked her watch. Time for the Barden Bellas' rehearsal. They would win the ICCA's, and Alice would be proud of her. Little did she know the disaster it would be.
Audrey let another splatter of vomit hit the ground. "Come on!" Chloe screamed. "You can do better than that!"
Audrey didn't hear any of it. In fact, she barely registered when Chloe started to chase her, and her legs moved mechanically as she clutched the pitch pipe. Vaguely, she remembered, the pitch pipe. Alice would want her to keep a tight rein on her power.
"Stop!" Everyone froze as they heard Beca shout. Audrey heard herself say, "This is a Bella rehearsal."
She could hear Beca's apologies, the dragging of her chair, and the stares of everyone. The stares that told her she was a menace. Audrey was tired of being the menace. She was tired of trying to be Alice. Alice would never have done it, Audrey called out, "Stop!" Then, she plunked down on the ground, and fainted dead away.
"Audrey!" The concerned faces of all the Bellas hovered above her as they grew clearer and clearer.
"Huh?" she managed to sit up, despite her spinning head.
"You fainted," Chloe informed her. "When was the last time you ate?" Audrey shrugged, but Chloe's voice grew sharper. "When, Audrey? When?"
Tired of lying, Audrey admitted, "Two days."
The Bellas all gasped, especially Fat Amy, who looked positively horrified.
Then the tears came, and Audrey couldn't stop them. "I'm sorry," she sobbed. "I'm sorry. Sorry for throwing up and losing control. I'm sorry for being depressed. I'm sorry for being anorexic. I'm sorry for cutting. I'm sorry for ruining the Bellas. I'm sorry for failing Alice. I'm sorry for failing all of you."
There was silence, before Beca asked, "Who's Alice?"
Chloe answered, "Our old leader. A terrible bully." She examined Audrey's wrist. White scars on pretty smooth skin. Fresh cuts. Scabs. Then, impulsively, Lilly, the shyest one, came forward, and threw her arms around Audrey.
"You've never failed us, and you never ruined the Bellas," Stacie said, and knelt to hug Audrey as well. Soon, the group converged around Audrey in a group hug.
"We love you Audrey," Chloe said, through her tears, "so you have to get better. For us."
The Finals:
"I will not throw up, I will not." Audrey willed herself, as she stared at herself in the mirror. And she allowed herself to look at herself - the way Audrey Posen would not the Alice influenced Audrey would. Blonde hair, curled perfectly to princess like waves, held back by a silver headband, makeup done flatteringly, so her extremely thin face looked attractively slim and relatively fuller. Lacy blouse, with a dressy blazer on top, dressy slacks, and - she had allowed herself to go a little wild - sexy red heels. Something the old Audrey Posen would have worn.
As she kicked off the Bellas' performance singing Price Tag, she looked over at the crowd, and her eyes rested on Unicycle. Her lips curved up a bit. She hadn't spoken to him in four years, or maybe longer than that. Maybe she would go talk to him afterwards. But no. She continued singing. He was probably surprised at how ugly she'd let herself get. But tonight she was beautiful. Tonight, she would not be depressed. Tonight, she was...free.
They had won. The Barden Bellas, had won. Audrey felt a sense of self-fulfillment. A trophy, a chance to redeem herself. She had successfully gotten and done both. Her knees buckled, and she grabbed on to Chloe's shoulder. "Audrey?" Chloe asked in a scared voice.
The room was spinning. There were too many people. The lights were achingly bright. And suddenly, there was nothing. Just blessed darkness. "Audrey!" "Audrey!" There were voices, hands, batting at her cheeks, but she was too far gone. Too far gone.
Sorry for skipping so much and having it be so short, but I really want to get to the main part of the story and I wanted to get this out of they way. It will get better guys, I promise!
XOXOX.